mini adventure.

So I do not have the stamina, but I was convinced my determination and will power will push me to step foot at Kampung Moingob, Tamparuli. I calculated my chances of surviving the journey gracefully and it was good. I so did not want to pass out in the middle of the jungle and the whole Malaysian army or the UN had to come and save me using a helicopter because the three skinny boys I was travelling with could not carry me to the nearest hospital. Guys, seriously, spinach would do you good.

No one gave an accurate detail of the trip, so I imagined the worse. Well, I wasn’t the only one. *sticks tongue out*

We were told we needed to walk for 2 hours crossing rivers and up the hills before we reach the village. On that day we found out we could have taken the 4WD up to the foot of the hill where the village is located if one village idiot did not told us the road up is pretty bad due to rain the night before. *sighs* So to be safe, we left the car and started walking upwards where I kept asking myself why did I torture myself like this when I could be sleeping at home peacefully. It’s not that I had to go to that trip. *rolls eyes*

That morning, I practically stuffed myself silly with food that was said to give me the energy I need. The combo of coffee, some noodles, some nasi lemak, a can of Kacip Fatimah, a can of Red Bull, a glass of lime juice and half a bottle of mineral water plus the long walk only made me nauseated and the many smell of the local fruits along the way only made it worse.

At one point, I seriously wanted to give up and told my friend, I’ll meet them there [under the tarap tree], on their way back from the village. He tried to scare me using the kerbau who was minding its own business not far from us. Yeah, if I was four years old, I might fall for that trick but I pushed my heavy arse up and arrived at the village breathless but still in one piece anyway. *hooray*

We were greeted by the villagers as well as the children. I made myself comfortable by going in and out of the hall and take pictures. So very the jakun of me huh? They prepared special lunch the old fashioned way, and by that I meant using firewood and all.



I do not know the name of all the dishes served but it was yummy and I would have eaten more if my stomach did not feel like a washing machine.



They also serve all sort of fruits and durians, and the best one is Dalit. *yummy*



There was also mommy pig and baby pig which was so adorable. I tried to grab hold of one, but the baby pig was fast. Who says they are slow creatures? Besides, the mommy pig was a little scary so I didn’t want to try my luck.



Before we left, I was served with bee larvae, fresh from the hive. I blame the lack of oxygen for my spontaneous action. I casually took one and popped it into my mouth and swallowed it whole. Then I realized that wasn’t very smart of me so I asked if the larva would somehow breed in my tummy. Those ladies must think I am an idiot. Then without thinking, I took another one and chewed. It didn’t taste that bad, in fact it was a little minty.



Or was it just me? Again, for no reason, I popped another two squirming larvae in my mouth. To give me the strength for the hike down I suppose.

The hike down was so much easier and it took us less than an hour. I think.

On the way back to the city, we stopped by at the stalls at the junction of the village because a colleague wanted to buy bakas (bbq wild boar).



Now, I know how wild boar look liked, I just never imagined seeing smoked wild boar in pieces like that with its fur and all. It wasn’t a pretty sight. In fact, I didn’t eat meat for a couple of days, thank you very much. The seller asked if my friend wanted the fur removed which my friend said yes. I really need to go out more often because I thought the seller would trim or pluck the fur. *whistles* He burns them instead.



We also had durian Sarawak which is so delicious. Talking about it makes me drool.



So, I survived the trip. Unfortunately, for the next few days, I could feel every muscle below my waist and my back ached like crazy. It was worth it though. I don’t mind doing it again, minus those hills of course. My colleague said I could climb the Mount Kinabalu now. *raises one eyebrow* Riiighhhttt… let’s not carried away here.

I like this Thursday

It feels as if the weight of the world is on my shoulder. Yes, very the drama queen of me. *sticks tongue out*

I am still tired. Still dragging myself around, trying to fix one thing at a time. Things that cannot be fixed are kept in separate paper bags, held tightly in my left hand. Once in a while, when I feel like it, I will empty one of the paper bags and give it another attempt. So far, I am holding about nine different paper bags. *woohoo* How exciting is that?

BUT despite the whining, I am happy. Tired but, happy. It’s a constant battle though. One can easily be sucked into the hole of depression. Been there, done that, my friend. I just have to focus on the good things. And people.

Surround yourself with happy positive people/things, those are the things that will keep you sane.

another quickie

I must have passed out from the last entry to this because I cannot remember anything that happened in between. Life just *swooshed* me by. Not everything is great but I am still standing aren’t I? At times like this, that’s the only thing that matters.

And I really meant it when I say, if I were a boy, I’d punched them in the face.

Happy Halloween people.
Don’t drink and drive.

*hugs*

quickie

I am exhausted.
Mentally.
Physically.

Psychologically.

Spiritually.

Semua larr.

I cannot wait for my trip to KL. I just want to do NOTHING but eat and be happy.

rockstar

Do I look like a freakin’ princess who never stepped foot in the jungle or crossed a river for that matter? *rolls eyes*People always assume I never go hiking or camping because of my size, but seriously people, I know I can do many things other skinny people cannot do. Can all of you bend and touch your toes? I don’t think so. *chuckles*

*sighs* I am tired of people’s perception of me. Why do I care so much? Honestly? I don’t know. I guess the older I get the more insecure I feel about myself not only as an individual but as a mother, etc. 31 years old with nothing to brag about. What happened?

Someone told me work satisfaction is not about the money. Well, when you have to put up with the drama, the headache, the heart ache and people waving their job description every time there is additional work to do when you are already choking with work that is not in your own JD, you’ll get frustrated when you see your sad bank statement every month end and that same people waving their JD showing off their newly bought ugly shoes.

So don’t tell me your sad grandmother story.

Now, don’t go and tell the whole world that I claim to be the only competent worker in the organization. This is not true because I know I am not. You may however, go tell the whole world that at least I do try my damnest best despite my whining and grumpiness.

Fyi, I “enjoy” service share/points. Economy not so great, so yeah.

I’m okay people. Don’t worry. I’m just saying you know.
To counter this whining entry, …

Ekiel: Mommy, can I change my name?

Me: No. What’s wrong with your name?

Ekiel: I want to change larr.

Me: Change to what?

Ekiel: Rockstar.

Me: *chuckles* So you don’t want to be F1 driver anymore larr?

Ekiel: Want. I F1 driver, Ekiel Rockstar

ME: Suka hati kau larr Ekiel.

i need a break.

My patience and sanity is being challenged almost every day now and it is not pretty.
I know this is life blah blah blah, but seriously, there are times I wonder why the Universe is so determined to make my life miserable. I always think this is Karma, but I am trying my damnest best. Don’t I get a break?

I so do not want to be one of those psychotic people whose only life in mission is to make everyone else miserable. They believe the whole world should worship they ground they walk on. It’s crazy. Unfortunately, things are just so screwed up and they get to enjoy their life with everything served to them on a silver platter. You know what’s the saddest part is? They whined that the world is cruel to them just because… oh you know what I mean.

I wonder, if I become an a*** or a b****, whatever you call it, will life be much simpler? Maybe I won’t get bullied so much, that’s for sure, but is it worth it?

I know this is just a phase that will eventually end. *fingers crossed* I just worry this time I won’t survive it gracefully.

Let’s talk about something else.

The other day I came from work and found some photos of Ekiel during the Children’s Day celebration at his school. On the cover of the plastic was written, ‘Ezekiel – RM3.00’. Just the other day, I had to pay RM25.00 for his costume that he needs to wear during their year-end prize presentation.

I went through the 3 pieces of 4R photos, when I jokingly told Ekiel, “You return these lousy (the pictures weren’t that great!) photos to your teacher and tell her Mommy got no more money to pay for these photos”.

I didn’t realize he went missing until I hear sobbing from the staircase. My mom went to him and after a while, he came back, all teary eyed with RM3.00 in his hand. He was upset I could not pay the RM3.00. I could not stop laughing and he was upset because I laughed at him which made me laughed even more. He slept with my parents that night. Hee.

I am not sure he’s upset because I am broke, or he’s upset because he worries the teacher will scold him but it is bad that a 4-year old is already affected like that because of RM3.00.

A 6 year old cousin of mine told his mother, he cannot wait to move to a new school. His mother thought he was excited to be in the primary school but that is not the case. Apparently, he is embarrassed to be in his class because his classmates made fun of him for not buying the big photo of their graduation. I didn’t realize how cruel 6 year olds can be.

How do I explain to them that money is not everything when in reality it does?
A manual on parenting will definitely come in handy now.

ask and you shall receive

My new obsession on anything wedding still creep me out sometimes. However, when I was assigned with a new task which is wedding related, I rolled my eyes for the amount of headache I have to live through and then I laughed out loud, well in my head that is, because it is just so funny. *claps hand* The Universe is such a comedian, don’t you think?

“Ask and you shall receive”
My aunt said that as I left for work this morning.
In the car, I cannot erase that phrase off my head. I kept thinking what she said and she is right. Provided what you ask for is within reason and is for the good of every one. And no, asking to hit the Jackpot and donating a little sum to charity doesn’t count!

This year, I made two special prayers.
One is happening real soon *fingers crossed*.
The other one, well, we’ll talk about that one of these days.

So people, do not be afraid to ask.
It doesn't hurt to try.