Friday, November 21, 2008

For some weird reasons,

my heart aches every time I watch people falling in love on television. Now people, don’t jump into conclusion thinking I am lonely and desperate for Mr Right Now. That is definitely not the case.

I must admit, it did crossed my mind which I freaked out because I am Clara, I don’t do desperate despite the constant b****ing about the lack of men, good men within 10km radius of my location.

Notice the word lack? I am an optimistic person Wuss! You’re the one who’s bloody negative. *whistles*

If that is not worrying enough, my tear duct seem to be broken too. I cried watching *censored* (censored not for anything dirty, but I am embarrassed because it was a kiddie movie)! It is not funny I tell you. I had to pretend something got into my eye, to cover those mysterious tears, which I know no one believed me.

Emotional is the correct word to describe my present state.

I am a mess. With the shameless tears, my temper could also rise within seconds but I’ll be okay again few minutes later. Many times I want to shake someone by the shoulders while screaming my head off and smack the back of their head. BUT the sensible me reminded me I am no Ally McBeal. I’d have to cut myself into three to be anything like her. I’m sure that hurts even more.

Instead of behaving like a baboon, I laugh at the silliness of the whole thing. Trust me, funny bah. Take one step backward, tilt your head to right and squint your eyes tightly. You’d be surprised to see what is actually happening.

So why the chaos; both in my head and in my heart?

As I get older, the happily ever after seems to fade away. I can see it from where I am standing but I am still nowhere near the Promised Land. Plus, it is always about them (the idiots) isn’t it? Provocation is my friend these days and when I show slight emotion, I am called the disrespectful and sensitive one. Heh?

With all these, my whole common sense bound to get screwed.
Only thing is, I thought it’d be much later in life and it would involve liquor, a bar counter and undergarment lassoing. Not a lot of tissues.

Happy weekend people.

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