Thursday, May 26, 2011

Happy Birthday Ekiel

Sometimes, when I look at Ekiel, I wonder if he is happy. I wonder if my approach in motherhood is right. Or wrong.

Is Ekiel too young to understand the reality of life? That we don’t always get what we want?

Was I too worried about our financial that my son thinks a 40cent worth of snack is a luxury?

What am I going to tell him when he asks me what a ‘daddy’ is? I kinda freak out the other day when his homework is to write ‘I have a father and a mother’.

My parents have hinted many times that Ekiel should be sleeping on his own. I know he should but honestly, I am reluctant to do so. I worry I will miss him. Miss our morning chat and night conversation.

I worry he won’t need me anymore.

He is my reason for being grounded and sane the past six years.

This ‘change’ is inevitable no? I need to spread my wings and let go.
I just wish it would not be this hard.

Happy 6th Birthday Ezekiel.
I am happy to see you having a blast. It was indeed your best birthday ever.

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