I don't remember when I started writing this entry

A storm is brewing outside. <- Err, I am not sure if this is the correct terminology. *whistle*
It’s like watching National Geographic on a kick arse giant TV screen. I wonder if the wind could literally blow my skinny friends off the ground like in the cartoons. *thinking* I bet it could.

I wish I wish the government would announce 23 Oct as a public holiday *keeping whatever I can cross crossed* I’d get to save my annual leave for something else. Oh please make me a happy woman. Hopefully I get to balik kampung and shamelessly pick fruits from my grandma’s fruit orchard just like how they describe it. I was never around during the fruit season and I haven’t been back to my grandma’s place for 14 years. There is ALWAYS an excuse. I will try my very best to go back this year. Partly because my mom is worried my grandma thinks we don’t love her anymore and because I GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO. It is more about the latter.

I’ve been having weird + sentimental dreams for the past few days. *sigh* The only socializing I do. *lalala* I do miss having someone BUT. Oh well.

###

They did announce 23 Oct as a public holiday but it is ONLY FOR THE GOVERNMENT SERVANTS. Wtf? Can they do that? Can they? *sigh* I also heard a rumor that the management may make us work Saturday and replace the public holiday on Monday. *hmm* I guess if I were to look at it from a somewhat positive angle, I only have to work half a day instead of the whole day. Not too bad if you ask me. I’ve learned to make the best of out the circumstances and move on. Please let the rumor be true…

*yawns* I am so damn sleepy. I could not sleep last night so I played Midnight Pool on my mobile. I think I slept after 1am. Then 5am, I had to wake up to give Ekiel his medication. Medication time is never easy. Then he wanted my mom, so I tried going back to sleep. Around 7am, I asked my sister if she is taking the bus to work and she is. So I took my time to get ready for work. Around 8am, my mom told me to hurry it up because there were no buses and my sister needs a ride to work because she starts work at 8.30am. *sigh* I had to skip half of my morning rituals and that includes coffee. No wonder I am so "bleargh".

It’s after lunch and I still feel "bleargh". I just want to go home and hang out with my son. He is so much fun to be with compared to some of these people. He is learning to talk and it is cute how he tries to imitate whatever you say. We sang the McD’s theme song yesterday on our way home. He only did the ending bit – "pappa". Hee. Last night we went to see the doc for his diarrhea. He was walking around like he owns the clinic. For the first time, he actually let the nurse take his temperature. When he saw me taking his medicine, he said "Ooh Oh" and quickly covers his mouth. The nurse laughed at him. Adorable huh? Well the nurse did not see him screaming for his life when I fed him the medicine ten minutes later! Even my cousin was stunned to see my mom and I grabbing Ekiel and forcing the medication down his throat. It is for Ekiel’s own good. He has mild asthma and he needs his medication. *sigh* If you’re in the neighborhood and you hear wailing, crying and screaming (Ekiel & mine), don’t be alarmed. That would be just me trying to feed Ekiel his medication.

I had a pretty interesting conversation about "life’s privileges" during lunch just now. Honestly, I admit I was taken aback with what I heard. Though I believe everyone is entitled to his or her personal opinion, I never imagine that coming from them. I do not and will not judge them based on what they think for they are one of the nicest bunch of people I know.

I cannot explain why I think the way I think or why I am the way I am. It’s like asking The King of Pop why is he so weird. Err... something like that larr. I am not saying I am perfect because we all know I am not. *rolls eyes* I’m just saying we are so different, sometimes I wonder if I belong in their "world". Sometimes I wonder what will happen once they discover what I really think or how I really feel. *Errk* It is difficult to pretend certain labels/words/action doesn’t hurt me, but I am so numb, most times I forgot how to feel. Experiences taught me by keeping my mouth shut I will never hurt anyone and life would be so much easier. I don’t know how. It just works that way.