Tuesday, February 02, 2010

perfect? definitely not.

I admit there were times, if not often, where I go all blank and clueless to what I should do. When getting help is not an option, I’ll just close my eyes, cross my fingers and pray for the best. That includes motherhood, work, relationship, finance, what to wear, and many, many more.

Yes, that’s right. What to wear. Maybe it is just me, but there were few occasions when I thought I look pretty decent but when I saw the photos the next day, *OMG* I want to put my head in a hole somewhere. So very the Nicole Kidman with her blotters drama. Thank goodness for Photoshop!

Anyway, it’s hard. I cannot tell you the number of times when I feel I have failed miserably, especially as a mom.

“Maybe if I have taken better care of Ekiel, he would not get sick”.

“Maybe if I didn’t pamper him so much, he would not behave so badly and no one would label Ekiel as a difficult child.”
The IFs debates goes on and on.

And I used to think I’d make a great mother before I had Ekiel. *rolls eyes*

When I watched Oprah the other day about the secret lives of mom & truth about motherhood, I laughed. Out loud. Though some mothers would give those mothers the dirty look for pretending not to hear their child crying or not bathing the kids every day, I nod my head with understanding. I do because I sometimes skip Ekiel’s bath time as I am too tired or just plain lazy. And I only have one child. *head hangs in shame*

Yes, you can call off my nomination for Mother of the Year award.

I must admit I was relieved to know that I am not alone when dealing with motherhood. It makes me feel more… human. *hee*

I know no one is perfect, but our society is always about who’s the better daughter, the better mother, the better everything. So we pretend everything is perfect and we cramp all the skeletons in the closet. When we hear someone did something unacceptable, we roll our eyes and shake our head with disapproval, when in reality, we do the exact same thing.

Why do we do that? We cannot help it. We need something or someone as a guideline, you know, to make sure you are doing what the rest of the world is doing, if not doing the right thing. Of course this is only MY opinion.

What do you think?

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