I am like the cookie in the advertisement.
“Now you see it, now you don’t!”
I wish I could control what is happening but this is reality and it doesn’t come with a magic remote control.
*makes sad face*
These days it felt as if someone put my entire life in a blender.
A very painful, mentally and physically, experience.
Can someone please pull the plug and let me out?
Even my hormones are making fun of me. My temper is all over the place and the best thing is I can only keep the anger to myself. That can’t be healthy right? My headaches are back.
At my age, I should be able to stand my ground.
*head hangs in shame*
Should is sometime a very big word.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Sat/d
Not everything in life is free.
I thought everyone especially those in their thirties should know this.
Obviously I am wrong.
I don’t understand how some people think the world owes them and expect to be treated like a bloody king/queen. The funny thing is, many good things happen to them and yet they still whine about their not so miserable life.
Am I one of these people? Maybe.
I still don’t understand many other things too.
It starts to piss me off. Again.
I thought everyone especially those in their thirties should know this.
Obviously I am wrong.
I don’t understand how some people think the world owes them and expect to be treated like a bloody king/queen. The funny thing is, many good things happen to them and yet they still whine about their not so miserable life.
Am I one of these people? Maybe.
I still don’t understand many other things too.
It starts to piss me off. Again.
Monday, March 10, 2008
favoritism
I spent the whole day yesterday thinking what I am thinking about. I know to most people, that don’t make sense, but believe me when you’re in my size 9 shoes this day comes like the Friday 13th. Occasionally but scary.
I have an assignment to finish but I couldn’t force myself to do it. I keep telling myself I’ll do it later but that later never comes. So I did my imagination run wild, and run wild it did. There are times when I wonder if my imagination would worth anything.
Some people tell me I’ve been watching too much cartoon.
Someone asked me how a mother could treat her children differently. You know, some get better treatment than the rest. Another individual mentions that sometimes when you hardly see certain children, surely you will pay them the extra attention. That someone disagreed. When I said I have no comment on this matter, that someone gave me a killer look. If she thinks I am referring to her, then yes I am.
We’re human beings. We cannot help it to play favorites. *sighs*
I know I should have kept my mouth shut, but my brain was enjoying the crabs so much it didn’t pay attention to what goes out from the mouth, only to what comes in.
I admit I have favorites too though I am not going to list them here. I am sure everyone knows it too. It is my fault if I could connect better with some people but not the rest? It doesn’t mean I don’t like you. I just won’t share you the finer details of that *ahem* dream I had last night. Know what I mean? The example, not the dream.
I know some of my friends connect better with each other than me; I will respect that bonding and give them the space to breathe. I know how annoying it is when some people poke their unwanted nose in private conversations. I don’t.
There are times when I misunderstood the “connection”. When I finally realized my mistake, of course it felt shitty but shame on me for being so sad.
I think favoritism sucks but it is normal as long it doesn’t go overboard. I know I sound like a mad woman. But this is how I look at it. With my head rested on the table. This doesn’t mean I am unkind to some people. I am always nice.
I have an assignment to finish but I couldn’t force myself to do it. I keep telling myself I’ll do it later but that later never comes. So I did my imagination run wild, and run wild it did. There are times when I wonder if my imagination would worth anything.
Some people tell me I’ve been watching too much cartoon.
Someone asked me how a mother could treat her children differently. You know, some get better treatment than the rest. Another individual mentions that sometimes when you hardly see certain children, surely you will pay them the extra attention. That someone disagreed. When I said I have no comment on this matter, that someone gave me a killer look. If she thinks I am referring to her, then yes I am.
We’re human beings. We cannot help it to play favorites. *sighs*
I know I should have kept my mouth shut, but my brain was enjoying the crabs so much it didn’t pay attention to what goes out from the mouth, only to what comes in.
I admit I have favorites too though I am not going to list them here. I am sure everyone knows it too. It is my fault if I could connect better with some people but not the rest? It doesn’t mean I don’t like you. I just won’t share you the finer details of that *ahem* dream I had last night. Know what I mean? The example, not the dream.
I know some of my friends connect better with each other than me; I will respect that bonding and give them the space to breathe. I know how annoying it is when some people poke their unwanted nose in private conversations. I don’t.
There are times when I misunderstood the “connection”. When I finally realized my mistake, of course it felt shitty but shame on me for being so sad.
I think favoritism sucks but it is normal as long it doesn’t go overboard. I know I sound like a mad woman. But this is how I look at it. With my head rested on the table. This doesn’t mean I am unkind to some people. I am always nice.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
a day in Lala Land
Queen of Lala Land sometimes wish her idiocy would keep herself hidden forever.
Those occasional moments where her judgment goes for a ciggie break, idiocy would creeps in and creates chaos. Most times common sense would be able to iron things out, but sometimes pessimism would taunt and mess Queen of Lala Land’s mind. When that happens, Queen of Lala Land imagines that the whole world is laughing at her.
She was sure the knights of The Gentle Prince were laughing at her this morning as she walked in to The Land of Drama and Headaches. Queen of Lala Land hid behind her ice cell, embarrassed and sad. Embarrassed because the subjects of The Land of Drama and Headaches now thinks she is desperate and dangerous. Sad because this is not what Queen of Lala Land imagined would happen.
So what did Queen of Lala Land learned from this?To swallow it like a true queen and held her head up high. They do not need to know she is shamelessly nervous in the inside.
Those occasional moments where her judgment goes for a ciggie break, idiocy would creeps in and creates chaos. Most times common sense would be able to iron things out, but sometimes pessimism would taunt and mess Queen of Lala Land’s mind. When that happens, Queen of Lala Land imagines that the whole world is laughing at her.
She was sure the knights of The Gentle Prince were laughing at her this morning as she walked in to The Land of Drama and Headaches. Queen of Lala Land hid behind her ice cell, embarrassed and sad. Embarrassed because the subjects of The Land of Drama and Headaches now thinks she is desperate and dangerous. Sad because this is not what Queen of Lala Land imagined would happen.
So what did Queen of Lala Land learned from this?To swallow it like a true queen and held her head up high. They do not need to know she is shamelessly nervous in the inside.
Friday, March 07, 2008
TGIF. *woohoo*
I am so tired.
*yawns like a lazy hippo*
I know I’ve been busy with work the past few days.
The problem is I couldn’t tell you what I did.
Boleh?
At times like this I could use a cold beer, a hug and a good laugh.
Talking about good laugh, the universe is playing another joke on me. Why can’t some people use their head? Do they seriously think it’s funny? Good for them for having courage but they shouldn’t think they are doing the rest of us a favor. *rolls eyes* I guess it’s my fault as well for not keeping my mouth shut. Some information/things aren’t meant for sharing.
The Silly Squirrel told The Broken Japanese Anime Hero that someone kirim salam/ sends her regards. (in English it sounds so formal). With the Queen of Lala Land around. The Queen of Lala Land would have jumped into the see if she hadn’t forgotten that she could not swim. Though the Queen of Lala Land warned The Silly Squirrel to cut it out, The Silly Squirrel continued her silliness by telling The Broken Japanese Anime Hero she wants to talk about the regards sent.
Queen of Lala Land is now packing her kingdom to move to Pluto, the once a planet but apparently it is the largest member of a distinct region called the Kuiper belt.
*yawns like a lazy hippo*
I know I’ve been busy with work the past few days.
The problem is I couldn’t tell you what I did.
Boleh?
At times like this I could use a cold beer, a hug and a good laugh.
Talking about good laugh, the universe is playing another joke on me. Why can’t some people use their head? Do they seriously think it’s funny? Good for them for having courage but they shouldn’t think they are doing the rest of us a favor. *rolls eyes* I guess it’s my fault as well for not keeping my mouth shut. Some information/things aren’t meant for sharing.
The Silly Squirrel told The Broken Japanese Anime Hero that someone kirim salam/ sends her regards. (in English it sounds so formal). With the Queen of Lala Land around. The Queen of Lala Land would have jumped into the see if she hadn’t forgotten that she could not swim. Though the Queen of Lala Land warned The Silly Squirrel to cut it out, The Silly Squirrel continued her silliness by telling The Broken Japanese Anime Hero she wants to talk about the regards sent.
Queen of Lala Land is now packing her kingdom to move to Pluto, the once a planet but apparently it is the largest member of a distinct region called the Kuiper belt.
Monday, March 03, 2008
the other night...
Someone asked me why I did not blog about the outing we had few weeks ago.
The answer is simple. I do not know how to describe that night. Not without shaking my head, roll my eyes and smiling like a 16 year old girl.
For my birthday, a friend invited a few guys (because I am such a sad case) on my behalf. I gave her two names, of guys whom I thought was cute. Don’t start about “looks is not everything” because I’ve been given that speech too many times. I know the argument inside out. *sticks tongue out*
Anyway, one showed up. *cheers* The Broken Japanese Anime Hero even gave me an angpow which was so cute. Of course I refused it because I felt that if I take it; it’ll be like a twelve year old birthday.
Like every men I meet, The Broken Japanese Anime Hero broke down and started pouring his heart out. To my friend at first, but I wanted to be the heroine so I forced myself in the conversation. *evil laugh* I have this thing about nursing broken people. Besides, she wasn’t interested, or so she said. *whistles*
Towards the end of the night, after the constant messages and calls he received, The Broken Japanese Anime Hero was “allowed” to go home because it wasn’t fun anymore.
Yes, the above story has gone through Lala Land censorship board but there wasn’t much to be censored anyway.
Last night (might as well get this blogged as well), we had another outing. The Cherry Third Quarter Kinky Queen and I arranged another thing with some friends. The word I would use to describe last night is funny. I’m sorry but when I think about it, it was funny.
So, the important guest was no show. Instead he hooked us up with his friends. Aren’t you laughing already? Then, the I Don’t Trust Women Anymore But I Cannot Be Trusted Too narrated us his love history. He lost his virginity at sixteen. *evil laugh* I didn’t know what to do with the information so I thought I’d share it with everyone.
Some people think I made it up when I tell them I am the official counsellor for drunkard men in any of the entertainment outlet. I must have a sign across my forehead that says “I care!”.
The I Don’t Trust Women Anymore But I Cannot Be Trusted Too gave us the permission to do whatever we please, which by the way is NOT THE WAY TO A WOMAN’S HEART!!! Sadly, I have heard almost the same line three times this month.
What happened to romance?
Did he move to the moon?
After the two outings, I don’t think I will be going out anytime soon.
It’s tiring. Though I enjoyed myself, it wasn’t what I’ve imagined or hoped it would be.
*whistles*
The answer is simple. I do not know how to describe that night. Not without shaking my head, roll my eyes and smiling like a 16 year old girl.
For my birthday, a friend invited a few guys (because I am such a sad case) on my behalf. I gave her two names, of guys whom I thought was cute. Don’t start about “looks is not everything” because I’ve been given that speech too many times. I know the argument inside out. *sticks tongue out*
Anyway, one showed up. *cheers* The Broken Japanese Anime Hero even gave me an angpow which was so cute. Of course I refused it because I felt that if I take it; it’ll be like a twelve year old birthday.
Like every men I meet, The Broken Japanese Anime Hero broke down and started pouring his heart out. To my friend at first, but I wanted to be the heroine so I forced myself in the conversation. *evil laugh* I have this thing about nursing broken people. Besides, she wasn’t interested, or so she said. *whistles*
Towards the end of the night, after the constant messages and calls he received, The Broken Japanese Anime Hero was “allowed” to go home because it wasn’t fun anymore.
Yes, the above story has gone through Lala Land censorship board but there wasn’t much to be censored anyway.
Last night (might as well get this blogged as well), we had another outing. The Cherry Third Quarter Kinky Queen and I arranged another thing with some friends. The word I would use to describe last night is funny. I’m sorry but when I think about it, it was funny.
So, the important guest was no show. Instead he hooked us up with his friends. Aren’t you laughing already? Then, the I Don’t Trust Women Anymore But I Cannot Be Trusted Too narrated us his love history. He lost his virginity at sixteen. *evil laugh* I didn’t know what to do with the information so I thought I’d share it with everyone.
Some people think I made it up when I tell them I am the official counsellor for drunkard men in any of the entertainment outlet. I must have a sign across my forehead that says “I care!”.
The I Don’t Trust Women Anymore But I Cannot Be Trusted Too gave us the permission to do whatever we please, which by the way is NOT THE WAY TO A WOMAN’S HEART!!! Sadly, I have heard almost the same line three times this month.
What happened to romance?
Did he move to the moon?
After the two outings, I don’t think I will be going out anytime soon.
It’s tiring. Though I enjoyed myself, it wasn’t what I’ve imagined or hoped it would be.
*whistles*
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Ekiel the Romeo
I taught my son how to play one of those online games (SpongeBob burst-a-bubble, something like that). After telling him twice, he learned how to maneuver his way around with the mouse, of course a few times missing the correct key and left click instead.
I was pretty impressed with his achievement. Of course I am bias because I am the mother. I know many other kids who are more advanced than him. But seeing him to progress like that gives me that proud feeling.
Anyway, I noticed that Ekiel doesn’t like to lose. When he does, he’ll start hitting me and ask me to apologize to SpongeBob for making him (SpongeBob) cry. I admit it is my fault for making him doing it the first time.
Ekiel doesn’t like to share his things too. My sister bought some cookies for him and he refused to share with anyone except me and his aunty who bought him the cookies. I need to tackle this nicely.
He wanted to drink orange juice but I told him he needs to drink some water first. I saw him taking only a sip so I told him to finish his glass of water. He answered me “Ishh… susah…” (So difficult) and shook his head. He finished his water and demanded his juice afterwards.
Yesterday at Church, there was this cute little girl who was trying to get Ekiel’s attention by touching him all the time. Ekiel ignored her but she was persistent. So I told Ekiel to ask the girl her name.
Ek: What’s your name? (In a very bossy way)
The girl ran to her mommy giggling. I wonder how long more I have before Ekiel starts having me screening his fans’ calls or him having a girlfriend. He’s already crushing on my sister’s 16-year old friend. *rolls eyes* Every time you mention the girl’s name, he’ll smile from one ear to the other.
After the mass, I told everyone about Ekiel’s new girlfriend and he started hitting me while smiling sheepishly.
Me: I thought you didn’t like the girl? You didn’t want to entertain her just now
Ek: Don’t be silly mommy (still smiling like a Cheshire cat)
Hee. Maybe that’s how kids these days socialize.
I was pretty impressed with his achievement. Of course I am bias because I am the mother. I know many other kids who are more advanced than him. But seeing him to progress like that gives me that proud feeling.
Anyway, I noticed that Ekiel doesn’t like to lose. When he does, he’ll start hitting me and ask me to apologize to SpongeBob for making him (SpongeBob) cry. I admit it is my fault for making him doing it the first time.
Ekiel doesn’t like to share his things too. My sister bought some cookies for him and he refused to share with anyone except me and his aunty who bought him the cookies. I need to tackle this nicely.
He wanted to drink orange juice but I told him he needs to drink some water first. I saw him taking only a sip so I told him to finish his glass of water. He answered me “Ishh… susah…” (So difficult) and shook his head. He finished his water and demanded his juice afterwards.
Yesterday at Church, there was this cute little girl who was trying to get Ekiel’s attention by touching him all the time. Ekiel ignored her but she was persistent. So I told Ekiel to ask the girl her name.
Ek: What’s your name? (In a very bossy way)
The girl ran to her mommy giggling. I wonder how long more I have before Ekiel starts having me screening his fans’ calls or him having a girlfriend. He’s already crushing on my sister’s 16-year old friend. *rolls eyes* Every time you mention the girl’s name, he’ll smile from one ear to the other.
After the mass, I told everyone about Ekiel’s new girlfriend and he started hitting me while smiling sheepishly.
Me: I thought you didn’t like the girl? You didn’t want to entertain her just now
Ek: Don’t be silly mommy (still smiling like a Cheshire cat)
Hee. Maybe that’s how kids these days socialize.
Friday, February 22, 2008
the things Ekiel say
At three years old, my son is a professional con artist/bully.
Mom: You stay home with Bertram, mama want to go cut hair
EK: I also want to cut hair
After a while…
Mom: You sure you want to cut hair?
EK: Yeah, I want to cut hair…
At the shop, he refused to go in to the salon. He just wanted to tag along.
The other day…
Me: *Laughing like a mad woman*
EK: Mommy, don’t be silly
EK: Bye..bye… (to my sis’ bf)
(after a while)KT: Ekiel, say bye to uncle…
EK: Already kan?
KT: Say it again
EK: Already kan? I already say
Ek: Girl, go take my shoe
(Ekiel bossing his 19 year old aunt)
EK: Mommy, let’s go up, sleep
Me: Wait, mommy want to watch TV for a while
EK: It’s time to sleep. Got momok (monster) already.
Ek switches off the TV.
Mom: You stay home with Bertram, mama want to go cut hair
EK: I also want to cut hair
After a while…
Mom: You sure you want to cut hair?
EK: Yeah, I want to cut hair…
At the shop, he refused to go in to the salon. He just wanted to tag along.
The other day…
Me: *Laughing like a mad woman*
EK: Mommy, don’t be silly
EK: Bye..bye… (to my sis’ bf)
(after a while)KT: Ekiel, say bye to uncle…
EK: Already kan?
KT: Say it again
EK: Already kan? I already say
Ek: Girl, go take my shoe
(Ekiel bossing his 19 year old aunt)
EK: Mommy, let’s go up, sleep
Me: Wait, mommy want to watch TV for a while
EK: It’s time to sleep. Got momok (monster) already.
Ek switches off the TV.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Happy Chap Goh Mei
I wish life would be kinder not only to me but everyone else.
I really don’t get how the life system works but I feel those nice and kind people deserve a break. Don’t worry. I am not talking about myself here. Yes, I am aware I am neither nice nor kind. So stop whining.
Remember what I wrote? Everyone is someone else’s moral story? I have learned my lesson so there is no need for someone to be miserable for me. Really. I do not want to stay up at night thinking about other people’s problem. I have been doing that for the past few days, thank you very much. It sucks.
As much as I do not want to give a damn about other people’s business, I can’t stop my head from thinking. I can’t also stop myself from doing or not doing many other things.
Anyway, it’s no biggie being thirty. Life goes on. Everything is pretty much the same. I don’t know what I was expecting. Raining roses? Frogs singing sweet praises? *LOL* Maybe. I’ve been reading too many books and watching too many movies/cartoons.
I wanted to throw some orange peels at the sea but my friend told me that wasn't a good idea. Someone from the neighbouring island might pick it up. Hee.
I really don’t get how the life system works but I feel those nice and kind people deserve a break. Don’t worry. I am not talking about myself here. Yes, I am aware I am neither nice nor kind. So stop whining.
Remember what I wrote? Everyone is someone else’s moral story? I have learned my lesson so there is no need for someone to be miserable for me. Really. I do not want to stay up at night thinking about other people’s problem. I have been doing that for the past few days, thank you very much. It sucks.
As much as I do not want to give a damn about other people’s business, I can’t stop my head from thinking. I can’t also stop myself from doing or not doing many other things.
Anyway, it’s no biggie being thirty. Life goes on. Everything is pretty much the same. I don’t know what I was expecting. Raining roses? Frogs singing sweet praises? *LOL* Maybe. I’ve been reading too many books and watching too many movies/cartoons.
I wanted to throw some orange peels at the sea but my friend told me that wasn't a good idea. Someone from the neighbouring island might pick it up. Hee.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
lost in my own thoughts
I am trying very hard to catch up with the rest of the world.
I’ve been making too many stops.
Most time to pick myself up, wipe the tear away and tell myself that I’m okay.
You think I am weak?
Think again.
I’ve been making too many stops.
Most time to pick myself up, wipe the tear away and tell myself that I’m okay.
You think I am weak?
Think again.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
RIP Fly
Fly. Fly. Fly. Fly.
Fly. Fly. Fly. Somersault.
Fly. Fly. Fly. Stop.
Fly. Fly. Fly. Fly.
Fly. Somersault. Fly. Fly.
Stop. Fly. Fly. Fly.
Stop. Drink. Drink. Drink.
Stop. Drink. Trip. Died.
But maybe he committed suicide.
We’ll never know.
The death of the idiotic fly.
Drowned in a small bowl of soy sauce.
My mom is right. Too much soy sauce could kill you.
Fly. Fly. Fly. Somersault.
Fly. Fly. Fly. Stop.
Fly. Fly. Fly. Fly.
Fly. Somersault. Fly. Fly.
Stop. Fly. Fly. Fly.
Stop. Drink. Drink. Drink.
Stop. Drink. Trip. Died.
But maybe he committed suicide.
We’ll never know.
The death of the idiotic fly.
Drowned in a small bowl of soy sauce.
My mom is right. Too much soy sauce could kill you.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
yesterday...
30 is the new sweet 16.
The day was like any other day.
To make it special, I’ve put an extra layer of mascara.
And eyeliner.
I spent half the day behind a group of Koreans who were doing advertisement photo shoot at the resort. Half of that time was spent waiting for the model to change her wardrobe and hairstyle. For someone who doesn’t like to wait (though I have the patience for it) it was torturous.
What was supposed to be a three hour photo shoot became a seven hour photo shoot.
The sad thing was I missed my own party that my colleagues organized for me. When I came back, I found a box of cake, a box of pizza and a green colored paperbag on my table. I was touched with the gesture and felt really guilty for making them wait for me but I was came back to the office too late.
At home, my mom cooked my favorite meal and they too bought me a cake. I who only had a cup of coffee the whole day stuffed myself silly. It was a perfect night with non stop messages from friends and people whom I’ve never expected to know.
The only thing that bugged me was Ekiel’s fever. He was his normal cheeky self, but he wasn’t very physical, just verbal. He refused to eat or drink and we had to force the medication down his throat and yet he spits it out like a pro.
I only had a combined 5 hour of sleep for the past two days. I had to drag myself everywhere this morning and thank goodness the shoot is OVER.
The day was like any other day.
To make it special, I’ve put an extra layer of mascara.
And eyeliner.
I spent half the day behind a group of Koreans who were doing advertisement photo shoot at the resort. Half of that time was spent waiting for the model to change her wardrobe and hairstyle. For someone who doesn’t like to wait (though I have the patience for it) it was torturous.
What was supposed to be a three hour photo shoot became a seven hour photo shoot.
The sad thing was I missed my own party that my colleagues organized for me. When I came back, I found a box of cake, a box of pizza and a green colored paperbag on my table. I was touched with the gesture and felt really guilty for making them wait for me but I was came back to the office too late.
At home, my mom cooked my favorite meal and they too bought me a cake. I who only had a cup of coffee the whole day stuffed myself silly. It was a perfect night with non stop messages from friends and people whom I’ve never expected to know.
The only thing that bugged me was Ekiel’s fever. He was his normal cheeky self, but he wasn’t very physical, just verbal. He refused to eat or drink and we had to force the medication down his throat and yet he spits it out like a pro.
I only had a combined 5 hour of sleep for the past two days. I had to drag myself everywhere this morning and thank goodness the shoot is OVER.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Third day of CNY
Happy Chinese New Year people!!!
It was a quiet celebration this year. With someone complaining and someone not wanting to get involved, it was wise not to go look for problem. Besides, I don’t have the energy to handle the chaos of family gathering. Of course, this did not stop me from collecting red packets for my son and I. *evil laugh*
I am mentally, physically, psychologically and spiritually tired.
I also don’t understand what is going on.
Now I am in the office. *sighs* I wish I am at home, not doing anything. I’ve been doing nothing for the past two days and it was GREAT. All I did was watch TV, eat and sleep. Repeat. I even enjoyed watching the Young Guns game show hosted by 5566, four adorable and funny guys from Taiwan. Even when I don’t understand what they say and the subtitle was minimum. Why can’t they translate the whole conversation? Aren’t the translator paid to do so?
Three more day to thirties.
*raises right eyebrow*
It was a quiet celebration this year. With someone complaining and someone not wanting to get involved, it was wise not to go look for problem. Besides, I don’t have the energy to handle the chaos of family gathering. Of course, this did not stop me from collecting red packets for my son and I. *evil laugh*
I am mentally, physically, psychologically and spiritually tired.
I also don’t understand what is going on.
Now I am in the office. *sighs* I wish I am at home, not doing anything. I’ve been doing nothing for the past two days and it was GREAT. All I did was watch TV, eat and sleep. Repeat. I even enjoyed watching the Young Guns game show hosted by 5566, four adorable and funny guys from Taiwan. Even when I don’t understand what they say and the subtitle was minimum. Why can’t they translate the whole conversation? Aren’t the translator paid to do so?
Three more day to thirties.
*raises right eyebrow*
Friday, February 01, 2008
february so soon
Not long after my entry yesterday, the squirrel finally fell flat on the ground.
The solution is very obvious, but the squirrel loves drama so I leave it to your imagination the things the squirrel could/would do.
Will I ever have a day in the office without listening to profanity?
This people swear more than them saying thank you.
If I could charge them RM10 for each vulgarity, I would be a rich woman.
This morning, as I walk into the office, my mood was sweetened with a gorgeous smile from a young gentleman. Every time I see him smile, the world became a happier place. Of course it only lasted for a while before someone ruined it.
Why he and everyone else have to be so young?
Instead of kissing them silly I can only pinch their cheeks.
*chuckles*
It’s already the first of February.
I am so behind my to-do list. I haven’t touched my assignment which due in three weeks.
I was supposed to finish all my notes, obviously that didn’t happen.
I am no where near my resolution list. Wait, I did clear my old things, so that’s a tick.
As for the rest…
I don’t know why I want to make myself do this. I must have lost my mind.
*yawns*
I had 6-hour sleep and I am still so damn tired.
Chinese New Year is just around the corner. This year it will be a quiet celebration as most of my family will be going back to Sandakan. My dad’s side who are the pure Chinese will only have the first day luncheon. I think. Maybe I could use that two day to catch up with my work.
Note to self: Hang on there. This will be over in eleven more months. I’m sure it will be worth it.
The solution is very obvious, but the squirrel loves drama so I leave it to your imagination the things the squirrel could/would do.
Will I ever have a day in the office without listening to profanity?
This people swear more than them saying thank you.
If I could charge them RM10 for each vulgarity, I would be a rich woman.
This morning, as I walk into the office, my mood was sweetened with a gorgeous smile from a young gentleman. Every time I see him smile, the world became a happier place. Of course it only lasted for a while before someone ruined it.
Why he and everyone else have to be so young?
Instead of kissing them silly I can only pinch their cheeks.
*chuckles*
It’s already the first of February.
I am so behind my to-do list. I haven’t touched my assignment which due in three weeks.
I was supposed to finish all my notes, obviously that didn’t happen.
I am no where near my resolution list. Wait, I did clear my old things, so that’s a tick.
As for the rest…
I don’t know why I want to make myself do this. I must have lost my mind.
*yawns*
I had 6-hour sleep and I am still so damn tired.
Chinese New Year is just around the corner. This year it will be a quiet celebration as most of my family will be going back to Sandakan. My dad’s side who are the pure Chinese will only have the first day luncheon. I think. Maybe I could use that two day to catch up with my work.
Note to self: Hang on there. This will be over in eleven more months. I’m sure it will be worth it.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
grouchy
I am Oscar The Grouch today.
People, beware.
*roars like a lioness*
I’m sorry but I am trying my very best to control this temper.
It’s not like I attack everyone I see.
The only thing apparent is my sarcasm which is higher/louder than usual.
Is that wrong?
Other people put an angry face and bang tables but they’re excused for having a bad day.
So give me a break will you?
You know what I want to do?
Sit by the beach, with my son, books, an MP3 player and lots of mineral water.
And yes, a good sunblock lotion too.
Someone said I am like this because of work.
That’s true because I am a different person once I step out of the office.
I know I could do so much more BUT…
Don’t tell me not to get emotional about work because trust me, I know.
I know many things I should and shouldn’t do.
Like you know what to do and what you shouldn’t do.
But you don’t always do the right thing, do you?
I went to the blood donation drive just now and the doctor told me that my blood pressure is “cantik” (beautiful). *raises one eyebrow* It was 120/80 and she ask me what did I do because previously it was 140/90. I told her I watchout my food intake which is of course a lie but it made her so damn happy because according to her, she believes that too much salt would increase your blood pressure. O-kay, whatever makes her happy.
I don’t understand why some people love looking for problem. You know the things you do will only create trouble and yet you refuse to listen to advises you asked for and you whine when things go wrong. *bangs head on wall*
Some people just love the attention no matter how idiotic the circumstances are.
Some people just love to encourage those people to pursue their madness.
If only they put this much of effort in their work.
People, beware.
*roars like a lioness*
I’m sorry but I am trying my very best to control this temper.
It’s not like I attack everyone I see.
The only thing apparent is my sarcasm which is higher/louder than usual.
Is that wrong?
Other people put an angry face and bang tables but they’re excused for having a bad day.
So give me a break will you?
You know what I want to do?
Sit by the beach, with my son, books, an MP3 player and lots of mineral water.
And yes, a good sunblock lotion too.
Someone said I am like this because of work.
That’s true because I am a different person once I step out of the office.
I know I could do so much more BUT…
Don’t tell me not to get emotional about work because trust me, I know.
I know many things I should and shouldn’t do.
Like you know what to do and what you shouldn’t do.
But you don’t always do the right thing, do you?
I went to the blood donation drive just now and the doctor told me that my blood pressure is “cantik” (beautiful). *raises one eyebrow* It was 120/80 and she ask me what did I do because previously it was 140/90. I told her I watchout my food intake which is of course a lie but it made her so damn happy because according to her, she believes that too much salt would increase your blood pressure. O-kay, whatever makes her happy.
I don’t understand why some people love looking for problem. You know the things you do will only create trouble and yet you refuse to listen to advises you asked for and you whine when things go wrong. *bangs head on wall*
Some people just love the attention no matter how idiotic the circumstances are.
Some people just love to encourage those people to pursue their madness.
If only they put this much of effort in their work.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
while waiting to be picked up...
Apparently arse kissing does bring you to places.
Why am I so damn stubborn/stupid refusing to be one of them while these people get to enjoy life the easy way? I admit I’ve tried but I just can’t do it. It’s too tiring.
I do believe in the old Malay saying “Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah jua”. A direct translation would sbe “Smart smart squirrel jump, finally fall to ground also”. It basically means no matter how good you are, you will eventually fall/get caught/etc.
But the day these people fall do not come too quickly. *whistles*
Why am I so damn stubborn/stupid refusing to be one of them while these people get to enjoy life the easy way? I admit I’ve tried but I just can’t do it. It’s too tiring.
I do believe in the old Malay saying “Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah jua”. A direct translation would sbe “Smart smart squirrel jump, finally fall to ground also”. It basically means no matter how good you are, you will eventually fall/get caught/etc.
But the day these people fall do not come too quickly. *whistles*
unwell
I accidentally got super glue on my hands last night. Now my fingers feel numb. I don’t know why I am such a klutz sometime. The other day I got two of my toes stuck to the floor. Funny huh? You wouldn’t be laughing when you try to peel yourself off slowly hoping your skin is still intact. My son was worried for me.
I wish some people would be more sensitive to what goes on around them. The world doesn’t revolve around them despite what they think or say. The funny thing is they will most time get what they want. Life is unfair but I have learnt to cope with that.
*sighs* I think I need to join one of those physical classes so I could channel my frustration and anger out. No, I still haven’t figure out exactly the culprit for these ill feelings. Maybe I am just having a bad week.
I found the perfect song to describe me at the very moment.
Unwell – Matchbox Twenty
All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me
I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of meI'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell
I wish some people would be more sensitive to what goes on around them. The world doesn’t revolve around them despite what they think or say. The funny thing is they will most time get what they want. Life is unfair but I have learnt to cope with that.
*sighs* I think I need to join one of those physical classes so I could channel my frustration and anger out. No, I still haven’t figure out exactly the culprit for these ill feelings. Maybe I am just having a bad week.
I found the perfect song to describe me at the very moment.
Unwell – Matchbox Twenty
All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me
I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of meI'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
thirty?
I’ll be thirty in a few weeks. No, I am not depressed because I am getting older. I am just sad for not living my twenties to the fullest. Now before I continue, I must stress that this entry is purely based on my crazy thinking/feeling that has been nagging me the past few weeks.
I am worried. I worry that I have missed out a lot of things in my twenties that I will never be able to experience anymore.
Again, remember this is crazy talk.
I want to do something crazy and not be responsible for my actions. Know what I mean? *raises one eyebrow*
I am tired of being an adult.
I should have been more ambitious. I do not want to be seating on the same sit when I turn forty. Life has to be more than just these four walls.
I wish I didn’t worry too much when I was younger. I know that my life would be more interesting (I said more because my life is already interesting, thank you very much). I would not let many things get in my way. Being too grounded is not so much fun.
I get this sad feeling that I would never ever be “in love”. You know, sappy love songs playing in my head 24/7. My heartbeat runs all over the place when I think of him. Checking my mobile every one minute to see if he sends me messages. Unconsciously talk about him and the cute things he did until my friends vomit blood. I’m a thirty year old plain and complicated single mother. Apparently some people do but I do not have strings of admirers lining up seeking my attention. It’s sad but it’s okay. I just hope I don’t miss all the loving too often.
I fear that I might have already missed my moment. That moment that defines me as a person. That moment that decides my accomplishments in this lifetime.
Have I gone mad to even think about all this? Maybe.
No worries though. I will celebrate my twenties that had taught me about life as a woman and a mother. Sure, I had a shitty bump here and there but the ride was great and I have no regrets.
My mom gave me a weird look yesterday when she realized I am turning thirty soon. The way she put it made me felt “old”. *LOL*
I am worried. I worry that I have missed out a lot of things in my twenties that I will never be able to experience anymore.
Again, remember this is crazy talk.
I want to do something crazy and not be responsible for my actions. Know what I mean? *raises one eyebrow*
I am tired of being an adult.
I should have been more ambitious. I do not want to be seating on the same sit when I turn forty. Life has to be more than just these four walls.
I wish I didn’t worry too much when I was younger. I know that my life would be more interesting (I said more because my life is already interesting, thank you very much). I would not let many things get in my way. Being too grounded is not so much fun.
I get this sad feeling that I would never ever be “in love”. You know, sappy love songs playing in my head 24/7. My heartbeat runs all over the place when I think of him. Checking my mobile every one minute to see if he sends me messages. Unconsciously talk about him and the cute things he did until my friends vomit blood. I’m a thirty year old plain and complicated single mother. Apparently some people do but I do not have strings of admirers lining up seeking my attention. It’s sad but it’s okay. I just hope I don’t miss all the loving too often.
I fear that I might have already missed my moment. That moment that defines me as a person. That moment that decides my accomplishments in this lifetime.
Have I gone mad to even think about all this? Maybe.
No worries though. I will celebrate my twenties that had taught me about life as a woman and a mother. Sure, I had a shitty bump here and there but the ride was great and I have no regrets.
My mom gave me a weird look yesterday when she realized I am turning thirty soon. The way she put it made me felt “old”. *LOL*
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