Monday, September 11, 2006

Spinning around

I learned that when other people do no care about their job/task/project, I shouldn’t give a damn either.
I should be happy because it means lesser work for me.
But why do I feel so crappy?

I had one of those nightmares again last night.
It has been a while since I last had them.
At one point in life, I was having a tough time sleeping because I was haunted by my never-ending nightmares. It effected my days too. I was always late for work and I had to drag myself everywhere I go.
After a while it stopped. It will come back once in a while especially when I have a lot of things in mind. *sigh*

In my dream last night, I was in the car with my dad and one of my sister.
We were about to do a U-turn to pick up another sister when we saw a commotion in a shop.
Someone had gone amok and slashing everyone in the shop with a carving knife.
There was blood everywhere.
I also saw the guy chopped off another guy’s hand.
*grossed out*
I also remembered a boy in blue and white t-shirt soaked with blood was carried by a man.
It was so real, when I woke up, I was feeling really sick.
It wasn’t as bad as those dreams I used to have, but I cannot stand the sight of blood, even in my dreams I was squirmish. I couldn’t go back to sleep because I was afraid the dream would continue (it happened all the time).

When I was finally dozing off, Ekiel decided to be all fussy and demanding. He wanted his bottle, go back to sleep and go downstairs all at one time. I told him to make up his mind, so he settled with the bottle first then try my patience by wanting to go down and go back up again after 5 minutes. He was about to fall asleep when he suddenly decides he wants to go down instead. My mom took him from me, and I try to get more sleep. Of course that did not happened.
So I am dragging myself around the office today.

I am having a headache.
It’s difficult to breathe because something is wrong with the ventilator. I think.
The air is stale and the work is boring.
For the past few days, it feels like I am working in a factory.
Cutting over 1,200 pcs of paper, sticking 450 labels, printing and clipping over 1,000 pcs of paper, compiling 60 pcs of press kits.
*head banging on keyboard*
I wish I am the boss so I don’t have to do all this s***.
I just tell people what to do and blame my incompetent staff for everything even when it was my fault most jobs are delayed. And I just found out my boss makes 10 times more than I do. Maybe I should put that in my job appraisal.

"Where do you see yourself within the next two years?"
Taking over your job.

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