Wednesday, June 13, 2007

determination is a good thing but...

Wedding bells are ringing a little loud these days.
Congratulations to all the newly wed.
*sighs dreamily*
I am VERY happy for all of you.
I do.

I am so thirsty and no matter how much water I drink, I still cannot satisfy this thirst.
It’s driving me nuts!
The craziest thing is, I need to go to the washroom like every 30 minutes.
People might start to think I have a bladder problem.
That or I have this new weird obsession with washrooms!
They already think I am strange.

I still haven’t done my Ekiel’s 2nd birthday celebration.
I know. I know.
I swear I’m not being a mean or cheapskate mommy but I just haven’t found the time to have the party.
Everyone wants to be there but everyone has a different schedule. Sometimes I wonder if the party is really for my son or is it for them.

Anyway, I am sure Ekiel won’t know the difference.
Not yet anyway.At the moment, he is content blowing out pretend birthday candles on a pretend birthday cake.
I call it practicing for the big day.
I am very happy to see he is already using his imagination and creativity.

Ekiel is a darling but I admit there are times when I wish he wouldn’t be so determined and stubborn.
I know determination is a good thing but I wish he wouldn’t use it on me or try my patience.

Imagine him crying/screaming at the top of his lung (no joke!) at 1am because he doesn’t to go to sleep, he saw me dozing off (I was REALLY tired/sleep) and he wanted me to bring him down to the living room.
I tried soothing, bribing and scolding. None of it worked.
I lost my cool and I hit him (lightly – I swear!) on his hand.
He retaliated by screaming louder.
Other people would think I was abusing him.
I didn’t know what to do.
My mom tried to console him and that didn’t work too.
So I let him cry.

He cried. And he cried.
After five minutes, I tried to console him again.
He refused to even let me touch him.
It was frustrating.
I had to remind myself he is just a baby and I really need to do something about his stubbornness before it goes out of control.
I tried again and he still refused.
I wasn’t going to let him continue his act.
So I hold him tightly.
He fought back.
I put him on top of me and hold him tighter.
I told him I love him very much but I will not put up with this behavior anymore.
I told him he need to give mommy a break tonight and he can act up tomorrow after mommy comes home from work and mommy promise to entertain all his fancies and whims.

That’s when I hear him snoring softly. I tried to put him on the bed but he started crying again.
So I let him sleep on top of me. It wasn’t comfortable but at least he’s sleeping.
This morning, when I woke up he was still sleeping peacefully like a little angel next to me.

I asked myself how a little boy like that can be so stubborn and demanding.
Though I was irritated last night, looking at him sleeping made me feel so warm and fuzzy.
The same feeling when I first saw him in the hospital.

I wonder if he remembers my promise to him last night?
I do love him very much but I don’t think I can take another long night of playing car racing or football if he does.
I am already having a headache from standing in the rain because we want to impress the biggest boss.

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