Tuesday, April 25, 2006

fair or unfair

If life is fair, then everyone would be too godamn happy. The world doesn’t need many happy people. For that reason, some of us go through a shitty life so we could be a freaking moral story to others so they could live our happily ever after.

Some are the heir to unbelievable fortunes while some comes into hardship that haunts my so-called perfect world. How does the universe decide? Who gets what? Is it fate? Was our life already written even before we were born? Was it a simple game of “rock, paper and scissor”? Is our life the result of every decision/action we make? Does luck have anything to do with anything? Is karma really about what goes around comes around?

Many of us are romantic fools who put our whole entire being to fate. It gives some sort of comfort to know that we are not in control of our life, and most importantly the luxury to blame something/someone when everything goes wrong. Though it is very handy in dealing with certain unwanted questions, there’s got to be more that just living the life of a written script. Or in my case; a badly written script.

There are those who hold their own destiny and are driven by what I would describe as unnatural willpower. Unnatural because it is foreign to me - I could however fake it when necessary. The determination to improve their life is admirable and it should be encouraged. ENCOURAGED not shoved down my throat. Snake lured Eve with the forbidden fruit. Get it? The world would have lesser problems if the snake shoved the apple down Eve’s throat.

Maybe I am expecting too much from the world & everybody else. That would very much explain the constant bummer. Maybe the day I realized the world was bigger than my built-in comfort zone, I got lost. Maybe the day I decided I wasn’t going to let FATE get to me, I made a bad decision. Maybe my immorality and malicious hypocrisy is getting back at me.

It doesn’t matter what or how life/the universe work I supposed. You could look for the answers in books, places or bad habits. At the end of the day, it’s what YOU want to believe. I know this. Yet I still feel the need to question and challenge, well not so much on the challenge bit but more blaming. I am just sorry some people do not understand this and have the need to shove (again with shoving) their belief on me.

I believe what goes around, comes around. I do try to be nice to everybody even when certain people treat me like s***. Let’s not forget how the world gave me a peek/taste of fairytales only to take it back before I could hold on to it.

I don’t know nor will I ever understand this. The world has become a scary place to live in. People have become unpredictable. Every one is unhappy with something/someone. Remember what I wrote earlier, those people are my moral stories. To be grateful with what I have. I may sound selfish, but that is the sad reality.

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