muach.

It has been a crazy month and today is only the 16th.
I admit my life is a bore and I could use some excitement, but I was thinking ‘knight in shinning armor sweeping me off my feet to some exotic island’ kind of excitement. All I got were dramas over idiotic and ridiculous thing from selfish and obnoxious people.

Although I am not involved in those dramas, I am frustrated with what had happened. Especially with the drama at home. Kids these days just have no respect for other people.

Anyway...

I think I seriously need professional help. That or go out and meet new people more often. The last time I was on a date/seeing someone was almost 3 years ago. I refused to think about it because I didn’t feel I was ready and also the fact that there was no one. Hmm... But that day, when a guy was kinda flirting with me, kinda because I wasn’t sure if he was really flirting (?), I get all excited and cannot help myself but to think about it/him almost all the time. I am pathetic, I know.

I’ve almost forgotten how good it felt to flirt and to be flirted with.

Someone told me I need to get back into the dating world. Honestly, I don’t know if I want to or if I should. Yes, I know some men do not mind dating someone with kid(s), but how many men are like that especially at this part of the world? I have nothing much to offer. I don’t look like Jessica Alba. I am stubborn. I am opinionated. I bring with me emotional baggage that I think I have locked up good and throw away the keys, but it could still just blow up in my face some time soon.

Sure, like everyone else, I do have some good qualities. I am sensible. I am witty to a point almost sarcastic (that’s not a good quality anymore isn’t it?). I think I am a happy person. I am giving. I am kind. I am nice. But seriously, is that really enough? Honestly, it doesn't felt like it is. Everything is about physical look. I see how some men checking some chicks out. I want men to look at me like that too! *ahaks*

I think my exhaustion is messing with my emotions and sanity.
No worries. I am still optimistic about love and life.