Thursday, June 07, 2007

tuesday's entry today

Thank goodness it is Tuesday because I cannot handle another Monday. Unlike Garfield, Mondays doesn’t usually bother me that much. However, yesterday’s Monday was insane. Half of the day I was annoyed, the other half pissed off. Despite what I sometimes share *whistles* my day isn’t usually like that.

I still don’t understand why some people are a pain in the arse.
I also don’t understand why my life has to revolve around this people.

I don’t have enough patience to entertain these people anymore.
As I grow older, I am quick to lose my temper. I know I over reacted yesterday, but hey, I wasn’t being rude. I was merely suggesting what The Nosey Parker Irker wants – him to be in charge of EVERYTHING.
It’s bad enough having him interfering our work, but to exaggerate about problems that wasn’t a big deal but also make mistake after amending it was a little too much for me. The Nosey Parker Irker has been on our tail for the past months. He goes around saying my department is useless over idiotic things but he forgets about his own department who frequently screws up big time. *rolls eyes*

The pot calling the kettle black. But in this case, the kettle isn’t so black really. Hee.

At this very moment, I am so clueless I could kick myself. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to think. Sometimes I even forget how to breathe. It’s ridiculous considering the amount of work I have to do, the people I have to entertain/please. There are times I ask myself, "What about me? What about what I want, what I need?" I know I sound selfish BUT really, all I am asking is some TLC. Just a little will do.

Oh well.

The other day.
Me: 23? Isn’t that a bit too young to get married? She should enjoy her life first then settled down.
Mom: That’s what people from the rural area do.
Me: But she’s not from the rural area. We are living in the city. What if she got married and later realized she is missing out a lot of things in life? She then starts to neglect the family and do her own things.
Mom: I got married when I was 19 years old and I had you when I was 20.
Me: We are talking about different era and circumstances. She’s like XX’s age. Imagine her getting married to her BF now.
Mom: How to wed if the guy is jobless?
Me: Well, XX can support him. Let her work while the BF becomes the househusband and takes care of the family.
Mom: I don’t like women who are too modernized for their own good. Men should be the provider. If a women provides for a men, she will become arrogant and forget her ultimate role as wife and mother.
Me: O-kay.

I didn’t realize all this time while I champion independent and competent women, while I struggle to be one, my mom thinks we are no good. I know my mom was upset with me and my circumstance because I accidentally read her testimonial she wrote for some church group. I just didn’t realize my decision to become a single mother instead of getting married because I didn’t think it was a solution would be a problem to her.

I learn something new everyday.

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