Tuesday, February 08, 2011

funny

Overheard at a coffee shop during lunch between a mom and her kids who were in their kiddies’ uniform.

Boy: Mummy, sia mau oren (while pointing to a bottle of Tropicana Twister orange)
Mom: Ada kau punya oren kan mummy kasi. Dalam bag kau, kau tidak minum?
Boy: Itu MON-TOKU. Saya mau minum oren!

They learn young don’t they?

Monday, February 07, 2011

the Butot adventure

There are plenty of things I do not eat especially those under the ‘exotic’ or ‘out of the ordinary category’ for the obvious reasons.

I also do not eat lamb or ducks. I just don’t. I also prefer seafood over meat.

Anyway, when people tell me Butot taste really good, I’ll just take their word for it. I have no whatsoever desire to try it because that thing wiggles. It’s chubby and it wiggles. Surely, anything that was created chubby and wiggly is not meant for human consumption.

During the CNY lunch, my youngest sister mentioned that she would like to try Butot and my dear cousin actually went to look for it at the Donggongon Tamu. He came over the next night, with a plastic bag on his hand.

The whole house was chaotic when he took the Butot out and one of my brothers went around the house chasing my younger cousins. After everyone settled down, my cousin and brother went inside to fry the Butot.

All I heard were the kids screaming and the thing went into the frying pan.

The boys came out and showed me a shrunk Butot. My sisters took one each, so did my brothers. Unconsciously I took one. Now, as the eldest cousins, I need to show a good example to the younger ones no? Since I already took it, I cannot put it back because this is what I preached to Ekiel every day. Once you’ve touched the food or put it on your plate, you better finish it.

The cooked Butot still look like a Butot and with its transparent textured skin you could see the “meat” inside.

Everyone said it tasted good. So okay, I tried to put it in my mouth, but as I hold that thing closer, my head keeps screaming, it’s a Butot.

And my siblings doing the wiggly dance in front of me are not helping.

I told myself, how bad can it be right? So in one no-so-brave attempt, I put the whole thing in my mouth. It smelled like fried chicken but what betrayed me was the textured skin. And the wiggly dance. So I forced myself to bite it quickly and swallow it.

Now, the texture and the mental image aside, it does taste okay. The skin was crunchy like fried chicken skin and though the “meat” was a little gooey, it tasted like half-cooked prawn or crab meat.

And no, no second serving for me.
Thank you very much.

One was enough and now I could proudly said, ‘I ate Butot’.

Saturday, February 05, 2011

chicks and spit

One neighbor was having their CNY party yesterday. As my brother and I drove by their house, we were, well I was surprised and my brother was surely pleased to see so many chicks dressing like they’re going clubbing or something.

So, maybe THEY ARE going clubbing after that.

There were these two hot chicks in tight mini dresses and one in a really tight jean with killer heels just got out of their car and was busy fixing their hair and what not.

So I thought, “Wow, they’re hot” but before I could finish that sentence, one of them did the most disgusting thing.

She spat on the ground. *euuww*

Though you look super fantastic, that unhygienic behavior is a big NO-NO.

My brother said, she is only human.

Men!
They only see what they want to see don’t they?

How’s the CNY?
Mine was nice. Ekiel won some money in ketam-ketam but I lost it during Kua Merah. And boy he’s pissed.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

CVs

Resume. Curriculum Vitae. Or whatever you called it is an important document to introduce you to a potential employer no? I remembered my ex boss giving me a long lecture about my CV when the agency was about to be taken over by a new management and what not.

Long story.

“Diligent? You should not put that as your special attribute because everyone is EXPECTED TO BE DILIGENT when working!!!”

Good times.

Because of the crazy and unhealthy drama at this place where I spent most of my day time at, I went digging for my good ol’ CV, for you know. Before Ekiel, I used to update it whenever I feel like banging my head on the wall but now, I just blog/update about it. Less painful I assure you.

My CV is a simple introduction of myself. I do not want it to be boring, but not too silly either and definitely no bragging about my so-called achievements. I try to give bits and pieces, just enough to make them curious. I like it short and sweet as well. Surely the HR personnel would thank me for that sensible action.

You really think the HR personnel will read your five pages resume?

Of course, I included my best professional photo. I know some bosses who screens the CVs through the applicants’ photo. Sad but true case my friend.

I never thought to exaggerate or lie in my CV because, hello, when people calls you for an interview, aren’t you worried they will actually test you for the skills you’ve written in your application?

Fair in a certain foreign language? Since when? You can barely speak English and yet you rate your English as excellent. Graduated in some college you never even step foot on the list goes on and on and on. I mean, there are certain things I would understand why you twist the truth, like your current salary, but skills are not something you should lie about.

There are plenty of cases where the newbie comes in with a spectacular CV but when it comes to getting the work done, *tsk tsk tsk* And since I b****h about them, I do not want to be like them. So what if I do not have the paper qualification or I could only speak two languages, I am good at many other things. And those other things are THE things you need to sell.

Some people call me under achiever. I’d like to think myself as, realistic.

Btw, no one really cares if you like to garden or singing. That bit of information is kinda useless for a job application. Unless you’re applying a gardener or a singing post. Maybe.

You should read those fresh from high school’s resume. It’s like a biography of their life.

“My hobbies is Facebook, internet and youtube”.

Good luck in getting a job lil’ one.

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

social badge #1

My mobile of four years is sick terminally ill. Sometimes it’ll go into a coma, without me realizing or worse, it’ll have one of its attacks and no matter how hard I press the keypads, it just would not work.

Do you know how depressing is that?

Once I have to sms a phone number like this 65432one because the number was needed urgently by a colleague. I also had a guest laughing at me when I could not enter his number in my mobile. I just laughed along because I didn’t want to otromen him. *sighs*

So I am looking for a new mobile.

Affordable and well, equipped with the apps that I need. Most importantly of course, it must be something I like.

Yes, I do notice that my taste is rather “different” than most people.

These days, mobile phone is a status badge. Do you notice how those with more expensive mobiles will flash their mobiles whenever they can?

As they enter any outlet, the first thing they do before ordering is to take out their mobile and check for any miss calls or sms and then they will check for wi-fi services. Expect a big fuss if the outlet doesn’t have one. Throughout their time at the outlet, they will constantly check their phone for SMS/miss calls or updating their FB and what not continues until they leave. Oh, don’t forget the photo taking as well.

Sometimes I wonder if their mobile has no ring tone or vibrate mode for that matter. So, maybe you can’t hear it sometimes, surely you can feel the whole table vibrates no?

What is the point of hanging out with your friends when you spend most of your time with your mobile. For the not so fresh air? For the ice blended? *shrugs shoulders* Like I said over and over again; people will never fail to amuse me.

Someone told me I should get a BB so we could BBM each other. *LOL* How cute is that? Some even justified themselves, to me, for buying a BB.

Feel bad because I can’t afford it is it? *LOL* Don’t be.

Anyway, I hope I won’t ever turn into one of them. Because one of them said more or less what I commented and turned into one of them the minute they got their new mobile. Yes, yes, the pot calling the kettle black.

Of course, the mobile I plan to get is nothing like theirs. In fact my sister laughed at me and said it look like a brick. A freakin’ square brick.

You got to love the social pressure.

Monday, January 24, 2011

why so like that one?

I don’t know whether I should laugh or weep whenever I watch /see TVC / print ads by the government / semi government agencies. We pride ourselves as a creative and innovative nation, but seriously, those marketing tools does not reflect any of those qualities.

Of course, this is my personal opinion.

[It is 11.40pm and some idiot is karaoke-ing You Look Wonderful Tonight terribly. Some people are just bloody inconsiderate. *bangs head on the wall*]

Anyway, about those ads. I wonder what goes through those people’s head, you know those who approves them, when they see it on TV or in the print media?

I know I would want to dig a hole and put my head in it.

[OMG. The idiot is singing the same song again. *rolls eyes*]

You and I and everyone else know that advertisement are tools to attract or influence you to either buy or do what you want them to do. Like most shampoo companies that claim you do not need expensive hair treatments to get the silky hair if you use their product. Chances are eight of ten women would have at least tried one of those products once. Though advertisements don’t make me go buy or do what they want, but they do create an urge for THAT particular cheesy pizza or that tasty Big Mac. I must also admit, in certain cases, I envy the flawless skin and the fantastic figure of the so-called users.

My point is I wish they would put more thoughts into their campaigns. Yes, we must have our own identity and what not, but I am pretty sure those people do not dress like their still in the 70s or 80s do they? I am pretty confident they have an FB account and carrying BBs, IPhone or even IPads.

If they can follow the latest trends, surely they can apply the same in their promotional tools.

I received a brochure from some government agency recently and boy was I disappointed. This brochure is distributed to international guests and this is the best they can come up with? The qualities of the photos are bad and ‘Awesome At The Top’? My grammar is terrible but that phrase does not sound right to me.

I was horrified to see one particular photo of the city because it was taken many many MANY moons ago. Like hello? Where did Warisan Square go? Even if they cannot afford to charter a helicopter to take the latest aerial view, they can always replace it with another fabulous photo of the city. Come on, it’s common sense people.

To that agency, yes the government and advertising agencies, we have so many talented locals. Use them. If you do not know anyone creative and innovative, give me a call. I’ll be glad to introduce you to some of them. Free of charge. The introduction only, of course. Nothing is free in life, but it is negotiable.

PS: I want to post the photo of the aerial view of the city but something is wrong with my add photo button. *sighs*