i try

I will never understand many things in life.
I’ve realized and accepted the fact that maybe it is meant to be that way.
My need to understand is insignificant.
The world doesn’t care what I think.

I have a sickness.
Something I loudly despise but quietly give in to.

I am a pushover. A pleaser.
There I said it.
In my defense (yes I have a need to justify it) I don’t do it for the glory.
No. Never get me wrong.
I do it to maintain peace among mankind.
Heh?
Honestly, I do it because I couldn’t stand confrontation.
I am afraid I will never be able to stand my ground.
To fight for what is right.

Let’s face it.
My tear duct isn’t working very well for I cry over every damn emotion.
I could scream and argue as loud as I want but once my tears starts to flow,
The screaming doesn’t have the same effect right?

I will say what I feel need to be said, but I will do the way I feel it is right.
And now ladies and gentlemen, is not the time.

Those days when I complained about the (previous) office, I had no idea that thing could get any worse.
Apparently it can, in ways that are beyond my imagination.
I must have been so terrible before to be put under these circumstances.
This is Karma biting me in the arse. Again.

So what am I going to do about this?
Nothing.
That’s right.
I am not going to do a single thing.
To take action, you must be very confident of yourself.
You must be indispensable.
Unfortunately I am not it.

Some people may disagree.
“It’s easy to find money” they say.
*rolls eyes*
Until someone offers to pay my bills, or I found another job, I’m keeping mum.

I do TRY to be pleasant.
What goes around, comes around.
Do unto others what you want others do unto you.
They should also include a warning with those phrases, “Damn difficult to do”.

It’s tiring when no one else bother to be nice.