love and band aid

It is so easy to just give in to your frustration and let your depression consume you.

It is okay to allow ourselves the luxury to sulk and whine about life because it is tiring to be optimistic 24/7. It is more exhausting to pick yourself up all the time. Just let me curled up in a ball, all teary feeling sorry for myself. I’ll jump back into action when I am ready. I always do.

As long I don’t share my annoyance with every unfortunate soul that passes my way bah. Like some people. Momok pun lari oh.

Love at the workplace happens all the time. Recently, two new colleagues were noticed to be spending a lot of time together and our suspicion was confirmed - they fell in love over the fax machine. Not literally but that would have been so cute.

T: Ramai oh kan, staff jumpa jodoh dorang di sini juga

Me: Ya. Sangat-sangat ramai. Dorang baru lagi tu kerja sini pun bercouple sudah

T: Itu larr. Berapa lama sudah kau kerja sini?

Me: Four years… (knowing exactly where this conversation was heading)

T: Empat tahun sudah tiada satu pun yang sangkut?

Me: *LOL* Sot. Tidak laku bah. What to do?

T: Ada tu. You must open your heart bah

Another colleague asked me the other day if I am seeing anyone. Why people are so interested in my love life is beyond me. But that’s how the society works no? Instead of asking about other things like my health or mental state, we are more interested in the romance bit. I guess me sharing about my insomnia and food binging is not as interesting as investigating the reason for my lack of interest in men.

“Maybe dia masih sakit hati from her previous relationship.”

Sadly this is not the case. I have moved on before I found out about Ekiel and so has he.

I am a woman. Of course I do have crushes on [non celebrity] men. I just don’t pursue or share it because it was pointless for many reasons – married, psychotic, different needs and wants. Cuci mata tu lain cerita larr kan? Besides, no one should settle for the first person they see just because they are afraid to grow old alone. We deserve much better than a temporary make belief happily ever after.

But my colleague has a point. We must open our hearts not only to love but to other great things as well. We are so scared of changes that we pretend to be content with what we have.

Sometimes, we just have to rip off the band aid.

Pain heals.

Changes are necessary.

ge.tek

Just because it’s Monday, my body and mind refuses to cooperate. And because of my love hate relationship with the universe, he taunts me by sending annoying annoying people my way and perfects the bad day fiesta by making the time crawl much much slower than a boring boring day.

Anyways…

My mom come home the other day and told me about her Indian friend whose daughter is married to a Mat Salleh and the adorable son they have. Bah, when you have mixed marriages like that of course the offspring will be gorgeous kan? It should larr.

Mom: Cute tu budak. Mata dia bulat dan besar lagi dari Ekiel punya. Hidung dia mancung, bukan mcm Ekiel flat…

Me: Bah, nanti saya cari larr Mat Salleh
Mom: eee… getek juga

Free free me kena pangil getek. *LOL*

sunday blab

I do enjoy spicy food made with spices. But chili hot is a big no-no for me. I am always fascinated with people who could literally drink a whole bottle of bird eye chili concoction which they add to everything they eat! I have seen people eating it with doughnuts!

I wondered what the thrill is and tried a teeny weenie drop but my tongue and stomach just could not take it. I ended up with gastric and I didn’t even enjoy the taste. All I can taste is the burning sensation in my mouth which distracts the taste buds from savouring the real taste of the food. I tried many times and I still don’t get it. Seriously.

Today, I woke up craving for something chili hot. So I took a tea spoonful of my brother’s bird eye chili concoction and eat it with my mom’s yummy fried noodles. I still burn my tongue and my stomach and that craving for something hot is not happy. It retaliated with a gastric. *sighs*

I guess my body is bored because I have been working the past 14 days straight and today I am doing nothing but glued my arse in front of the PC 1n2d-ing. So the body decides to play tricks on me. Damnit. Nanti I work 30 days straight baru kau tau.

I need a new hp.
Heck, I need new of a lot of things.
A new slate in life would be nice.

crushed

Having a star crush at 32 years of age is normal no?

I remember my first star crush. Jonathan Knight of NKOTB. Sure, he was the nerd-iest among the lot, but his shyness charmed me. Then there was Jimmy Lin, a Taiwanese singer who is SO comel I want to hug him to pieces. I was at the front row of his concert held at KDCA. It doesn’t matter I don’t understand a word he sang, but when he touched my hand (he stick his hands out while singing and I *ahem* touched it) I was sure, we were meant to be.

Yes, very silly of me.

Then there was Josh Harnett where I watched every movie he acted in but one day I woke up and I just stop. No more star crush. Major ones that is.

Until recently.

My sister introduced me to a Korean reality show of seven, now six men who travels around Korea. The show is hilarious and I cannot get enough of them that I have been watching them online the past few days. They’re so addictive!!!

Each man has different characters and personality which complemented each other. What I love about them is, despite the teasing and the fun bullying, they really do take care of each other. I also love that they are so humble and sweet when they meet their fans along their way. So, maybe it is all acting, but you can tell when one is genuinely a good person or not.

My favourite of the lot is Jiwon. He’s so funny and candid. Despite his wacky nature, he has a shy side too. Yes, I still have a thing for shy men. Makes me want to go to Korea and find someone like him. Yes, find someone like him, not him because he recently got married. *LOL* Ada tanda-tanda jadi stalker sudah ni kan?

Enjoy the video. He’s the dude in white. Check out 1D2N in youtube/online too or every Friday, 11.25pm at Channel 303 KBSW. Repeats are on Sunday at 5.25pm.

Because I am your mommy, I know EVERYTHING

Me: You finished already your homework? Yang letter Y that.
Ekiel: Already. How you know I got homework Y?
Me: I know larr
Ekiel: How?
Me: Because I…
Ekiel: *give me the hand* Stop it. I don’t want to hear what you say
Me: Why?
Ekiel: It drives me crazy.

I enjoyed my conversations with Ekiel more than most adults I know.

mommy turtle

After the 7K, I am on an eating binge. I cannot stop stuffing my face silly. Like for lunch today, I had two bowl of bubur beras pulut hitam and I am so FULL it is not funny. Or pretty. Wish I could lie on the floor like a dugong and sleep.

I haven’t been sleeping well either. *sighs*

I am so very the tired. Exhausted. It’s just one of those days but strangely, this morning I woke up feeling happy despite what had happened. Ekiel woke up in a good mood too until I told my mom he was “flirting” with another girl in his class. *grins*He quickly defended himself by saying his GF is not in his school. WTH?

Men of all ages do think alike don’t they?

I don’t know about other mothers but I do somewhat have this [physical] image of what kind of man I want Ekiel to be when he grows up. You know that movie 17 Again?

Me: Ekiel, when you grow up, you be like that guy (points at Mike O’Donnell) okay. He’s so cool. Don’t be like those nerdy ones

Ekiel: No mommy, I just want to be myself

If I were a mommy turtle, I’d retrieve into my shell for a very long time.