In a case that will surely excite the netizens of Malaysia, a student is being charged for using only one emoticon in all of her blog entries.
Sasparilla Chen. 17, has been keeping a blog for the past year to record thrilling moments in her life such as her exam preparations, her on-off infatuation with a Thai VJ, and surprise birthday parties for her friends. Little did she know that her blog was being monitored by people other than her immediate "posse" – and this is where her troubles started.
Ambi Mohan, head of the popular Malaysian Linguistic Association (MALAS), lodged a police report against Chen for always using only the standard smiley [:)] emoticon in each of her 28 blog entries. :I can’t believe she could be so lazy," says Ambi in his tastefully appointed office in Putrajaya. "Does she not know that keyboards can create many other emoticons such as the wink [ ;-)] or the frown [L]?"
"Yes, my association is now branching out into the Internet, although we don’t have yet a website," he continues. "My interest in the Internet started when my sister Anadil pointed out to me that Googling my name provided 40 hits! So it is now my duty to monitor linguistic usage on the Web."
On his specific beef against Chen, he says: "Using only one emoticon shows that she lacks an imaginative palette. It’s like a painter who only uses one color. Surely such a painter will be rejected by the art world. But as blogs are not regulated by the government, such abuses are permitted to occur. Like her entry on a celebrity’s wedding which simply says, "She married a rich Datuk" and is followed by the smiley emoticon. Any fool can tell you the proper emoticon should be a sad one [:-<] because any 17-year-old girl would surely be unhappy that yet another rich Datuk has been taken off the market!"
Chen could not be reached for comment. It is understood that she has been traumatized by the accusations against her that she has temporarily taken down her blog.
Hee. This is just a parody written by Amir Muhammad.
But imagine if this is true, die larr me.