Monday, September 24, 2007

my break up

Doc: What makes it difficult? Is it the boy or the relationship?
Me: The boy definitely.

No, I wasn’t seeing a shrink or a counselor. I was with the Resort’s doctor after experiencing giddiness, itchy nose/throat/ears, difficulty to sleep and sharp pains in my tummy for the past few days. I also developed an allergy reaction to a necklace that I have been wearing for almost a month. The Doc said I am showing symptoms of the flu and prescribed me almost the whole pharmacy and rescheduled me to come back for a full check-up for another a personal matter.

This about to happen flu explains my cranky and moodiness for the past few days. Maybe I am naturally a b**** but this is what the Doc said. If you’re wondering the connection of the above question and my check-up, he was trying to find the source of my stress. Hee.

I watched The Break-Up last night. I don’t know why but the movie reminded me of one of my previous relationship. It didn’t happened exactly like the movie but it just brought back memories.

Gary was somewhat like X. I invested a lot of time and effort into the relationship but he just takes thing for granted. He was brought up that way but OMG, the world doesn’t revolve around him only right? I cannot remember what is it about him that made me stay that long but the last straw was when I waited for him at the movies for two hours! He then had the nerve to tell me to stop my sulking because he doesn’t like it. Fyi, I was very upset but I wasn’t sulking. I just didn’t say a word to him because if I do, it will only be an argument.

So the next day I told him to take a hike. Well, I emailed him actually. *whistles* I told him it will never work but let’s just stay as friends. A week later, he called me up and invited me out. As friends. So I agreed. I got a very rude surprise when he introduced his new girlfriend to me. I admit I was shocked, a little upset and pissed off when he keeps telling me his new three-day old girlfriend is a successful lawyer, more beautiful and a better girlfriend. Fyi, my loyal friends assured me I am far better than that girl. *LOL*

Anyway, after a while, I couldn’t take it anymore. I know I dumped him but I still do care (at that moment) for that idiot. I lose my cool and broke down. He saw that I was upset and INSISTED that we talk. Like hello, you pull this kind of stunt and you still wanna talk? I told him to go away but he physically forced me to go with him. I started screaming and the next thing I know I went berserk. I went on and on about the things he did and didn’t do. Told him that my friends think he’s useless but I defended him because underneath all that laziness and irresponsibility, I see a man who can be anything he wants to be.

I also told him I am sorry I am not successful, beautiful and good enough for him. Though this was alcohol talking I still regretted for telling him that because that is so not true. Right? I mean, when I think about it later he was the one job-hopping and drunk/stoned every night. He was the one not successful, beautiful or good enough for me.

I don’t know what was he thinking at that very moment. Maybe he was thankful that he broke up with a crazy woman *LOL* He apologized for being an arse and I apologized for being lunatic. We later had beer and everything was okay. After that incident, we still remained as friends. For a while. Then I got tired of his bad habits and his whining about the miseries in his life.

Oh yeah, that new girlfriend of his, he dumped her two days later. She was upset with him because that night, he left her with his friends while he hang out with me for the rest of that night. *evil laugh*

So, that was my first (and hopefully) last public argument. So embarrassing. I know. I used to roll my eyes when I see couples fight in public. *head hangs in shame* Anyhoo, I do not recommend it to anybody because what I remembered most that night wasn’t only my screaming, but also the stares of other people like I was their freak show.

Anyway, yes, when I saw the movie last night, it reminded me of that relationship. The only relationship I put so much effort in but at the end I just have to let it go. It wasn’t meant to be. It’s as simple as that.

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