Thursday, September 13, 2007

stupid me

“I thought single mothers are not accepted in Malaysia?”
I was dumbfounded when I heard the question. I couldn’t tell what surprised me more; the question itself or the untactful way the question was asked.

I don’t remember ever being put in the position where I became very defensive about our country. Despite what the other country think about us, I personally feel we are far better off then some of them. Maybe not in terms of technology and development, but at least we value our morality, culture and heritage.

Nevertheless, the foreign journalist was very interesting to talk to.
I think I surprised her when I said I have no plans of migrating overseas because this is my home and my heart is where my family is. Honestly, I surprised myself too. I wonder what happened to those dreams of living in a foreign land meeting new and exciting people every day.

The peace and harmony at my house was disturbed by the lack of Astro. Thing is, a family member footed the Astro bill and apparently the bill is not paid for this month. After the third time, I wonder if this is their subtle way to ask us to pay our own bill. Not that we don’t want to but my mom didn’t want that family member to think we are too proud for “assistance”. She insisted we wait until we are told to pay our own bill, which I personally think is somewhat humiliating. *sighs* It’s not easy to please everyone isn’t it?

I used to hate it when people take pity on my family but I have learned to accept it and return the favor by helping other people.

So what did my family and I do while the rest of Malaysia watched High School Musical 2? We watched one of my sisters played video games. We cheered when she won and mocked her when she lost. The funny thing is, it was kinda fun.

I hate this stupid computer at work. I had to restart the damn thing eleven times today!!! *bangs head on keyboard* I used to joke that when I throw the PC into the sea, those fishes will only laugh at me and throw it right back. I begin to think it may really happen.

How do you explain to someone who doesn’t want to accept the obvious? Call me a b****, whatever, but it’s not my fault if they themselves put ideas into their head.

I just knocked my finger with the large hole-puncher. I think it was a sign for me to stop whining.


I wrote the above four days ago but I had problem logging to blogspot. *sighs*
Today is Thursday. I was in good spirit this morning and WAS very optimistic about the tomorrows. I know I am being very immature and idiotic about this but I just cannot help it. I really think I need professional help. Or maybe someone to perform exorcism. I don’t know larr. What is wrong with me? *bangs head on wall*

Btw, my PC finally died and everyone thinks I've gone crazy for celebrating the death of my PC. Of course without a PC I can’t do much but this being a slow month at work and everyone is taking their annual leave, I still have access to the Internet. *claps hand* Yes, and work too of course. *whistles* And no, I have no clue when I will get my PC fixed or replaced. I spoke with the IT guy and he told me to take a number. *rolls eyes* Another good news is my Astro is back on. Apparently that family member already gave the instruction to pay the bill but the driver didn’t do it immediately. The timing couldn’t be perfect because I begin to hate that stupid computer game my siblings play. My son too plays the driving game though he would just let the car run into everything and anything. Hee.

How pathetic can I be? My (social) life depends on paid cable.

Jealousy sucks especially when I am doing all the jealous-ing over the stupidest thing. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Oh well. Maybe I will laugh about this after 10 years but at this moment, I just don’t think/feel I could survive this pain.

Help me.

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