I must have passed out from the last entry to this because I cannot remember anything that happened in between. Life just *swooshed* me by. Not everything is great but I am still standing aren’t I? At times like this, that’s the only thing that matters.
And I really meant it when I say, if I were a boy, I’d punched them in the face.
Happy Halloween people.
Don’t drink and drive.
*hugs*
I am exhausted.
Mentally.
Physically.
Psychologically.
Spiritually.
Semua larr.
I cannot wait for my trip to KL. I just want to do NOTHING but eat and be happy.
Do I look like a freakin’ princess who never stepped foot in the jungle or crossed a river for that matter? *rolls eyes*People always assume I never go hiking or camping because of my size, but seriously people, I know I can do many things other skinny people cannot do. Can all of you bend and touch your toes? I don’t think so. *chuckles*
*sighs* I am tired of people’s perception of me. Why do I care so much? Honestly? I don’t know. I guess the older I get the more insecure I feel about myself not only as an individual but as a mother, etc. 31 years old with nothing to brag about. What happened?
Someone told me work satisfaction is not about the money. Well, when you have to put up with the drama, the headache, the heart ache and people waving their job description every time there is additional work to do when you are already choking with work that is not in your own JD, you’ll get frustrated when you see your sad bank statement every month end and that same people waving their JD showing off their newly bought ugly shoes.
So don’t tell me your sad grandmother story.
Now, don’t go and tell the whole world that I claim to be the only competent worker in the organization. This is not true because I know I am not. You may however, go tell the whole world that at least I do try my damnest best despite my whining and grumpiness.
Fyi, I “enjoy” service share/points. Economy not so great, so yeah.
I’m okay people. Don’t worry. I’m just saying you know.
To counter this whining entry, …
Ekiel: Mommy, can I change my name?
Me: No. What’s wrong with your name?
Ekiel: I want to change larr.
Me: Change to what?
Ekiel: Rockstar.
Me: *chuckles* So you don’t want to be F1 driver anymore larr?
Ekiel: Want. I F1 driver, Ekiel Rockstar
ME: Suka hati kau larr Ekiel.
My patience and sanity is being challenged almost every day now and it is not pretty.
I know this is life blah blah blah, but seriously, there are times I wonder why the Universe is so determined to make my life miserable. I always think this is Karma, but I am trying my damnest best. Don’t I get a break?
I so do not want to be one of those psychotic people whose only life in mission is to make everyone else miserable. They believe the whole world should worship they ground they walk on. It’s crazy. Unfortunately, things are just so screwed up and they get to enjoy their life with everything served to them on a silver platter. You know what’s the saddest part is? They whined that the world is cruel to them just because… oh you know what I mean.
I wonder, if I become an a*** or a b****, whatever you call it, will life be much simpler? Maybe I won’t get bullied so much, that’s for sure, but is it worth it?
I know this is just a phase that will eventually end. *fingers crossed* I just worry this time I won’t survive it gracefully.
Let’s talk about something else.
The other day I came from work and found some photos of Ekiel during the Children’s Day celebration at his school. On the cover of the plastic was written, ‘Ezekiel – RM3.00’. Just the other day, I had to pay RM25.00 for his costume that he needs to wear during their year-end prize presentation.
I went through the 3 pieces of 4R photos, when I jokingly told Ekiel, “You return these lousy (the pictures weren’t that great!) photos to your teacher and tell her Mommy got no more money to pay for these photos”.
I didn’t realize he went missing until I hear sobbing from the staircase. My mom went to him and after a while, he came back, all teary eyed with RM3.00 in his hand. He was upset I could not pay the RM3.00. I could not stop laughing and he was upset because I laughed at him which made me laughed even more. He slept with my parents that night. Hee.
I am not sure he’s upset because I am broke, or he’s upset because he worries the teacher will scold him but it is bad that a 4-year old is already affected like that because of RM3.00.
A 6 year old cousin of mine told his mother, he cannot wait to move to a new school. His mother thought he was excited to be in the primary school but that is not the case. Apparently, he is embarrassed to be in his class because his classmates made fun of him for not buying the big photo of their graduation. I didn’t realize how cruel 6 year olds can be.
How do I explain to them that money is not everything when in reality it does?
A manual on parenting will definitely come in handy now.
My new obsession on anything wedding still creep me out sometimes. However, when I was assigned with a new task which is wedding related, I rolled my eyes for the amount of headache I have to live through and then I laughed out loud, well in my head that is, because it is just so funny. *claps hand* The Universe is such a comedian, don’t you think?
“Ask and you shall receive”
My aunt said that as I left for work this morning.
In the car, I cannot erase that phrase off my head. I kept thinking what she said and she is right. Provided what you ask for is within reason and is for the good of every one. And no, asking to hit the Jackpot and donating a little sum to charity doesn’t count!
This year, I made two special prayers.
One is happening real soon *fingers crossed*.
The other one, well, we’ll talk about that one of these days.
So people, do not be afraid to ask.
It doesn't hurt to try.
