Sunday, October 04, 2009

in a boat

I watched PS I Love You again last night.
I was so happy to watch it alone so no one will see me bawling like a mad woman.
These people are not very sympathetic with anyone crying over movies, drama, etc.

Unfortunately, this morning I woke up with swollen eyes and when my son asked me what happened, they all looked at me curiously.

I said my eyes were bitten by mosquitoes.
Ekiel declared war with the mosquitoes.

You know that one scene at the lake, where the three women (Holly, Sharon and Denise) were stranded and were waiting for rescue? Sharon blurted out that was she was pregnant and Denise announced she was getting married? Holly just sat there, speechless because she realized she doesn’t have anything anymore.

Been there done that my friend.

I cannot remember the number of times when a meteor of reality hit me in the head. I too had a plan. A plan that obviously did not worked and is now stored somewhere deep in my “things I do not want to remember” storage.

I must admit that there are times when I hear good news about other people, I can hear that tiny voice in my head from screaming, “And what do you have, Ms Nothing?”.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very very happy for them. It’s just that during one of those days, I’ll begin to wonder if I will ever have one of those things too. Some have their “own” families, some their careers, etc. The things I have are Ekiel, my debts and a dead end job. You know what I mean.

I gave myself five years to fix myself. It has been four years with little progress.
I cannot waste the last one.

This is silly because I know all this and yet I still let myself drown with the unnecessary headaches. *bangs head on wall*

A teacher of mine, Ms Yap, once wrote in my autograph book,
Slow and steady wins the race.

I don’t know why I chose to remember this particular entry among the many others, but maybe this is it kan?


Cherish Tulips said...

This is a wonderful post!Enjoyed reading it.I luv that movie and have cried everytime i watched it.I guess sometimes we tend to feel so empty and lonely in our lifes but we should be thankful with everything that we have so have a wonderful son who loves you and that's great!

Aunty J said...

I would say you've done very well with your loveable son and that is a one helluva achievement! You're not Ms Nothing coz you have Ekiel and he has you and that is something :)