conflict

When you ask for advice in a perfect world, everyone will give you the exact same sensible advice that would lead you to the righteous path. And that people is why everyone live happily ever after in Lala Land.

Sometimes, when you ask for advice in real life, you can get more confused with the different reasonable and sometimes crazy opinions and perspectives.

What? What you mean it’s just me?
Well, what can I do if I am surrounded by weird, some adorable and some psychotic, people kan? *LOL*

I think this is one of the reasons why I rarely ask for opinions. I know most of them want only what is best for me, but how can it be THE answer FOR ME when it is made based on their understanding and experience? Know what I mean?

Doesn’t my feeling and want be taken into consideration? What happens to my individuality?

No matter how you explain it, no matter how many times you go through the whole process, someone will end up pissed and the other hurt.

I’m talking specifically about my mom and my dress debate. *LOL*
What did you think?

If my mom could have things done her way, I’d we wearing potato sacks to those gala events.

pecah kepala

This morning when I picked Ekiel up from school, the class teacher apologized over and over again about Ekiel’s accident last Friday. It’s not her fault if Ekiel could not sit or stand still for 30 seconds. I asked her if Ekiel cried that day and Ekiel did tell us the truth. He did not even shed a tear.

I finally met Esther, Ekiel’s so-called gf. *LOL* I was like “hello… you’re Esther huh?” The girl just smiled shyly. The teacher asked me why so I told her Ekiel told everyone Esther is her GF. The teacher started laughing and Ekiel got so pissed. “I don’t like you mommy! I don’t have GF!!!”

*LOL* Another story to share with Ekiel’s future GFs. 

misti

I was watching a live forum in one of the national channel last night.
I have no clue what they were arguing about but I think it has something to do with the economy. Words like “apologetic society” and “corporate families” were flying around. One of the guests goes on and on and the poor host tried to cut him many times but failed. Well, the speaker was live from another part of the country, but hey, they should have make sure the communication network, system or whatever they call it functioning properly right?

Anyway, what I find funny was the speaker. His language is bad. Every time he use the word “must” in Malay, I would start giggling.

The whole language debate seems pointless if we cannot even use the language properly kan? 

On passion

Being passionate about something you care deeply is always a GOOD thing.

However, these days, I tend to question these passions. Do they really understand what they are fighting about? Do they see the effect of their conviction? In the long run of course not just some temporary satisfaction. Is that really the best way to be heard?

The smallest gesture could lead to the biggest misunderstanding. We have seen this happening many times before. How can one expect respect and equality when he or she is not showing the same?

People should take a deep breath and think about this. Hard. 

Make a wish

“Make a wish and believe it with all your heart” – One Tree Hill

With my crazy-mess and overactive imagination, you would think that I would come up with the most unique and special birthday wish every year.

“I wish I would dream the winning jackpot number, hit the RM20mill, screaming “I QUIT!” while throwing my paper plane resignation letter, pamper myself silly until I look as hot if not better than Megan Fox, build a mansion and spoil my family friends, go to every country in the world and eat every type of bread available and finally with no more headaches and nothing better to do, meet my soul mate, fall in love and live happily ever after”. 

Or something like that.

Yes, I am aware it is just a birthday wish that someone made up many moons ago. *sticks tongue out* I believe nothing is impossible so even if you don’t believe in Santa Claus, just humour me will you?

So, truth is, every time I am about to blow the candles, my mind becomes a mess and the next thing I know, I say the first thing that comes into my head. What a waste! I had three birthday cakes this year and I only made one hasty wish. *tsk tsk tsk*

I guess my need wanting it to be perfect only spoils the whole thing. That and plus the pressure from those people who can never wait to stuff themselves with the cake or by those who could not wait to stop pretending like they care and go back doing whatever they were doing. Take your pick.

“Bah, cepatlah. Cair sudah tu lilin. Nanti terbakar tu kek kau”
(Blow the candles quick before the cake is on fire!)

I don’t understand how or why I fall for that lie. Every year! I have yet to see or hear a burnt birthday cake because someone needs extra time making his or her birthday wish! I may be wrong though. There are plenty of weird things out there e.g. Drama Queen T.

Anyway, my point is, I also totally believe what Wildcat said about her believing Paulo Coelho – “If you want something badly, the whole universe will conspire to give it to you”.

You see, every year since I was 16, all I wish was to be... happy because I know I will never get a BF or be skinny when I wake up the next day. *LOL* Yes, I have always been a practical person from a young age. Hee.

So, in some twisted way, wishes do come true if you believe in it. BUT again, life works in mysterious ways. So those getting rich and have supermodel bodies wishes automatically cancels itself. No, I do not want to get into details because I refuse to accept the “No pain, no gain” theory. *LOL*

Dream big people. In fact, just dream because there is no such thing as little dreams.

Btw, I was a big fan of One Tree Hill when it was first aired. I’ve stopped watching because I think they need to go out from wherever they are. They have dated everyone and anyone in that neighbourhood. *gross out* Tonight, after channel surfing for 10 minutes, I settled for the last bit of the One Tree Hill (it’s in their 5th season) and man that Chad Michael Murray is still so YUM-MY.      

Now, this will be one dream that never would come true. *sighs*

my world is spinning

Thanks Ajami Hashim! Those who want to watch Odoi Odu or any of the Astro Kirana Short Films Award can do so by logging in here.

When I saw Drama Queen Tatiana was selected for the wild card, I freaked out. OMG why her? Is this some twisted joke the universe is playing on all of us? Because it is not funny. Thank goodness she is nowhere near the AI.8 finals. *woohoo*

Yes, I refer the universe as a he because he sure has no sensibility or sense of humor. *whistles*

Btw, who's my favourite?
Danny Gokey, Anoop Desai & Allison Iraheta.

AF fever is baaaaacckkkk!!! Hee.
I MAY be bias this year but let’s wait till the announcement of the finalist before I do or declare anything. *grins* Nanti people say I syiok sendiri pula. I lobbied my mom and son but my mom PRETENDED not to hear me. I know she’s excited because although she refrain herself from smiling, her eyes were twinkling with delight! *LOL* My son raised his eyebrow and said “What are you talking about?”

This morning during my meeting, I received a phone call from an unknown number. I USUALLY would not pick up unknown caller but I pick it up anyway thinking it is one of the local reporters. My heart sank when she said she is calling from Ekiel’s school.

Ekiel injured himself when he ran around the class, fell and knocked his face at the corner of the table. He cut himself between the eyes. The teacher assured me it’s not that bad, and that the bleeding has stopped after they applied medication on it. As this is my first experience, I didn’t really know how to react. The teacher must think I am mad when I asked her if Ekiel needs to be sent to the hospital. *LOL*

I think I must start preparing myself for cases like this. You know, practising intelligent questions during emergency cases.

“Does his cut require stitches or special medical attention?”
Is this considered an intelligent question? Ha.

According to my mom, it was a 0.5cm not so deep cut. I asked Ekiel what happened, he said he fell down, hurt his head and one of his friends stepped on him. I asked him if he cried, he insisted he didn’t and told me not to be ridiculous. *claps hand*

My hero.

and the last two!

29. 3.30am, 25^th May 2005. It was our third night in the hospital. Ekiel cried his little lungs out for more than an hour. I have tried everything I could think of and he still won’t stop. Never feeling so helpless before, I started weeping uncontrollably but I had to be quiet or I’ll wake up the whole children ward. *LOL* With every emotions and worries clouding my mind, the two of us cried for 15 minutes or so before he fell asleep.

I still worry sometimes about the future.

30. If someone to ask me my happiest moments in my 30 years of life, the only thing that comes to mine was the day when the positive sign appears on that pregnancy stick. I took 3 to be sure. Ekiel’s birth would be second. The whole ordeal was a little scary with the delay, ICU and the psychotic nurses.

~~

Finally I am done! The next time I want to do something like this, someone please remind me that it takes a lot of hard work? Thank you. *whistles*

I know there are many people who pick their noses in the car during traffic, but the other day, I saw a guy who pulls his nose hair with a tweezers instead. How crazy is that? I mean, doesn’t it hurt? Doesn’t he care half of KK could see him embarrassing himself like that?

During the Astro Kirana Short Film Award, I could not help but to laugh at some people who have difficulties reading the title of the winning short film - “Odoi Odu” (Oh Grandma) by Farizie Morinding of Ranau, Sabah.

I don’t know about other people, but before I go up on stage (especially on live telecast), I would make sure I know how to pronounce all the names and funny words. *rolls eyes* It’s acceptable to read it like a normal BM word, but I do not understand why one guy (whom I happen to think is hot but definitely not with that hairstyle!) pronounced it as odai. Like heh?

So disappointingly funny. *shakes head in disbelief while giggling like a school girl*

To Mr Farizie Morinding: congratulations.
Where can I watch the film?

I always have this thing about making films/documentaries. I don’t think I have what it takes, but I would sure love to learn. Same goes for photography too. I envy people with creativity and the determination to make it happen. I can’t even make myself finish my 30 Most Memorable Moment in one month! *head hangs in shame*

Macam mana nak jadi Otrowoman macam ni Mr Bestest Gentle Giant?

march already?

28. When I was 7 or 8, maybe 9 years of age, I thought my parents left me at a supermarket because I insisted buying a book. See, my mom finally let me buy the book and gave me some money to pay at the cashier. At the cashier, I was short by 20cent I think. I told the cashier I will be back only to find the car where I thought my parents have parked is gone. I went back to the cashier again, because I was pretty sure my mom have given me enough money and true enough, the first cashier made a mistake. I was so happy to get my book, I find it perfectly logic for me to walk back home. It was around 8-9pm mind you and I walked all the way from Towering back to my house. How many kilometres is that?

Only when I reach my house without my dad’s car parked in the driveway I realized I was in deep shit. *LOL* I started shaking when my uncle (who was living with us that time) picked up my mom’s call asking if I am home. I waited patiently for the punishment. When they came home, my dad gave me the silent treatment which I assure you is more painful than scolding. My mom started nagging but I didn’t mind because I got the book that I wanted. And yes, I am very thankful that nothing happened to me that night.

~~~

This morning, when I saw March on my inbox, I got blur for a while. Isn’t it still February? *LOL* Well, it’s not my fault if the month only has 28 days.

Years ago, I laughed at my friend when one night, she covered her face with her purse when she saw someone she didn’t want to see. I didn’t see the logic, then, for her to hide when I think she should have just walk with her head up high to show that person’s presence does not affect her at all.

Few days I ago, I, Clara Angelicbug, did the same exact thing. *hangs head in shame* When I realized it was that person, I covered my face with my wallet as if it was going to cover the whole of me. *LOL* BUT I did asked myself wth was I doing so I put my hands down and walk as fast as I could with my eyes fixed to the ground.

*sighs*

These days my spontaneous reaction is a disappointment. In my head, I know exactly how I should behave, but my body however, does the opposite. I used to respond very quickly to situations too like always catching a falling glass from the table. Now, all I do is close my eyes and ears. Yes, ears. *whistles*

Is this part of aging? *LOL* If it is, it stinks. If it’s not, then someone better get me some professional help. Maybe it is just a phase. Please let it be a phase. I am sure everyone has gone through it right? Anyone?

Those days when I think too much I always fail to react immediately. Like when the motorcycle hit me. I just looked at the motorcyclist and walked away. Or when the car hit me. I just pick up my sunglasses and walk away. That was a bad phase. Come to think of it, I was always unlucky too! *LOL*

Oh well. At least my instinct and common sense is still working. I think. It’s hard to tell these days.