Crash post

Okay. The past few days were a blur. My body is aching for unclear reasons. It’s not as if I’ve joined a marathon or do any hard labour. I’m just… *bleargh*. Despite the low batt, my mind is working overtime. It’s crazy because I can’t sleep with all the thinking. It’s really loud; it gives me a headache.

I sometimes wish my courage is as loud as my self consciousness.

If I weren’t so polite and nice. I’d tell many people to go jump off the marina. It amazes me how people could just start screaming and swearing without even thinking if they were right or wrong. The important thing is to be heard. As if volume is some sort of power. To stress your point add in all the foul words you could think of in every language available, bang tables and point fingers. *tsk tsk tsk*

If I weren’t so shy, I’d go and talk to all those men I only drool at. They may just laugh at me, but who cares right?

All I do is listen quietly and run away. *rolls eyes* What is wrong with me?

I had the weirdest dream last night. I was in a building with a guy whom I shall refer as X (whose face I saw but cannot remember). We overheard a conversation that we shouldn’t listen and X recorded the whole thing. When we heard enough, we walked out of the building fearing for our safety. We were about to cross the road when a lady stood next to us and told us whatever we heard was true and needed to be stop. She said she knew we were there and told us to run as they (the bad guys) knew about us and are looking for us.

So X and I started running. We wanted to jump into a yellow-coloured bus, but it drove away before we got into it. So we ran towards a deserted building, hoping they would not find us there. We walked in the building and found a secret underworld. It looked so much like the Hogwart’s hall (Harry Potter), I even mentioned it in my dream. The whole place was decorated beautifully. Like a Halloween party but it was Christmas. There was also a huge gorgeous Christmas tree and I told X if we get out of this one, we’re going to get a similar tree for next year. When I thought we were safe, we could see the bad guys were already in the building and we had to go. We started running and finally we were surrounded by men with weapons. That’s when I woke up.

The dream felt so real I have goose bumps just thinking about it. I can still clearly remember the colour of the bus we missed, the balloons and the Christmas decorations. How weird is that?

I must also admit that I am wondering who the guy was because it felt really safe to be with him.

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Sorry people. I’m just a little tired/lazy these days.

Don’t ask me what I did because all I remember doing is doing nothing. I spent the whole weekend at home with my son watching TV and surf the net. I tried to teach Ekiel to play those online games for children but he keeps telling me he doesn’t know how so I ended up playing with him as my cheerleader “Good job Mommy!”


Ekiel has grown so much, he sometimes he worries me when he starts talking like an adult.

Ek: Mommy, I want bottle
Me: Where’s your bottle?
EK: There…
Me: Bring it here
EK: No, you bring it here
Me: You want bottle, you bring it here
EK: Ish, pemalas oh you this mommy (you’re so lazy mommy)

EK: Mommy don’t go to work
Me: Cannot. Must go to work. If no work, no bottle
EK: I drink water only