i need a break.

My patience and sanity is being challenged almost every day now and it is not pretty.
I know this is life blah blah blah, but seriously, there are times I wonder why the Universe is so determined to make my life miserable. I always think this is Karma, but I am trying my damnest best. Don’t I get a break?

I so do not want to be one of those psychotic people whose only life in mission is to make everyone else miserable. They believe the whole world should worship they ground they walk on. It’s crazy. Unfortunately, things are just so screwed up and they get to enjoy their life with everything served to them on a silver platter. You know what’s the saddest part is? They whined that the world is cruel to them just because… oh you know what I mean.

I wonder, if I become an a*** or a b****, whatever you call it, will life be much simpler? Maybe I won’t get bullied so much, that’s for sure, but is it worth it?

I know this is just a phase that will eventually end. *fingers crossed* I just worry this time I won’t survive it gracefully.

Let’s talk about something else.

The other day I came from work and found some photos of Ekiel during the Children’s Day celebration at his school. On the cover of the plastic was written, ‘Ezekiel – RM3.00’. Just the other day, I had to pay RM25.00 for his costume that he needs to wear during their year-end prize presentation.

I went through the 3 pieces of 4R photos, when I jokingly told Ekiel, “You return these lousy (the pictures weren’t that great!) photos to your teacher and tell her Mommy got no more money to pay for these photos”.

I didn’t realize he went missing until I hear sobbing from the staircase. My mom went to him and after a while, he came back, all teary eyed with RM3.00 in his hand. He was upset I could not pay the RM3.00. I could not stop laughing and he was upset because I laughed at him which made me laughed even more. He slept with my parents that night. Hee.

I am not sure he’s upset because I am broke, or he’s upset because he worries the teacher will scold him but it is bad that a 4-year old is already affected like that because of RM3.00.

A 6 year old cousin of mine told his mother, he cannot wait to move to a new school. His mother thought he was excited to be in the primary school but that is not the case. Apparently, he is embarrassed to be in his class because his classmates made fun of him for not buying the big photo of their graduation. I didn’t realize how cruel 6 year olds can be.

How do I explain to them that money is not everything when in reality it does?
A manual on parenting will definitely come in handy now.