The American Idol audition is back to get me with the horrible singing and even more horrible attitude. I still cannot believe how delusional some people can be. I wonder if I am like them. I mean, I think I am an O-KAY singer but of course I am not good enough for some reality competition. So is my O-KAY really okay or am I the only one who thinks I’m okay. *thinks really hard*
Those who know me know that I have a thing about watching the auditions for any reality competition. I just cannot stand watching people humiliate themselves in front of the camera. Especially those who becomes verbally/physically abusive after they are rejected by the panel judges.
I don’t know why and I don’t know how to explain it but I shall try.
The feeling was almost like that day my son threw a tantrum in a shopping mall by laying on the floor, kicking both his feet and screaming at the top of his lung. One uncle actually stopped to look and waited until I manage to calm my son down. It also felt like that time I sang off key at church because I was not familiar with the song. I was very confident it should go on a high note instead of a flat one. I had to sing that particular note extra loud too. Damnit. Oh, how can I forget the day I got hit by a motorcycle because I was day dreaming while crossing the road? I was so embarrassed I just walked away. I didn’t even feel the pain until I got home.
Uh huh. That feeling.
I still applaud their courage and confidence though.
We just had our yearly appraisal at work. I’d say it was a good review, could be better definitely but I am pretty happy with it. I do however find it amusing when my boss wrote something like "Took initiative to improve her appearance". *LOL* Wtf? She would also like me to increase my level of energy and pep. I think my level of energy is very high thank you very much. BUT I know she is talking about me keeping quiet most of the time. What she doesn’t realize is this only happens when she is around. *whistles*
Although she is only a couple of years older than I am, she is still my boss. I always find it difficult to be myself with people from the higher management. The who-I-really-am and the this-is-me-at-work personality aren’t exactly the same if you know what I mean. Even my previous boss sort of complained about it. Fine. *rolls eyes* I will TRY and do something about it. I hope she doesn’t expect me to change immediately. Who’s going to help me if I end up being something else? I am just so self-conscious around people who could literally make my working life hell.
I am having a headache sorting this ticket reconciliation thingy. I don’t understand why do I have to do it. I think I do but I refused to understand.