Here In My Home by Malaysian Artistes For Unity.

Those who know me know I am not the most patriotic person in the planet.

Don’t get me wrong, I love and proud to be a Malaysian. I just don’t wave the Jalur Gemilang every August (like almost Malaysian) just because it’s the Merdeka month. To me, patriotism is something you keep close to your heart every day.

It doesn’t mean the “louder” you are the more love you have for the country kan?.
Don't you know?
Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.
Or something like that.

Here In My Home by Malaysian Artistes For Unity.
I LOVE IT.

Read about it here at Mr Manager – one of my daily doses of coffee.

Happy Mommy's Day

When I see myself in the mirror, I am in dire need of TLC.

My hair needs bonding.
My feet need pampering.
My eyebrows need saving.
My skin needs loving.

It’s tough being a girl.
But it’s tougher being a mommy.

So to all mommies…

HAPPY MOMMY’S DAY.
You’re doing a great job!

The other day my sister and I were discussing about doing a belated Mother’s Day thingy for my mom, grandma and aunts. We decided to get each of them a nice charm bracelet or something that says “World’s greatest Mom!” Hee. I know it’s tacky but it is something my family would love.

Later that evening, it hit me.
I wasn’t counted in the gift list!

I want one too!
*sticks tongue out*

I x heart today's Monday

I hate being sick. *cough cough* *sniff sniff*
I wish I could just take the “sickness” out and put it in a jar and left it out in the sun to die cure itself.

After the surprise change of plan, my class finally started again. For a while I was beginning to think the whole thing was too good to be true (especially when our bond was shortened to one year!).

Our first class this morning was Management in Information System and Information Technology. I have no idea what the class was about. I’m sure the lecturer tried his best to make the subject interesting and related in our work, I’m sorry, his best wasn’t good enough. I do try to pay attention but it’s difficult to concentrate when my body demands a bed and the rest of the class was making jokes only they themselves could understand. *whistles*

I couldn’t help to worry about my work in the office too. I hate all this unnecessary headaches.

Work sucks. No, the organization is not so bad, it’s the people who makes it hell.

Last weekend...

This entry is taking FOREVER to finish so I am just going to sum it all up not because I could not find time to do it but because I don’t remember most of the trip already. Yes, I am that old already.

Last weekend, my colleagues and I went to Kinabalu Park and Poring Hot Spring to familiarize ourselves with two of our many products.

We were told to be there before 7.00am because the bus will leave with or without us. I woke up late that Saturday morning and I rushed around the house like a mad woman. I arrived 20 minutes before 7.00am at the meeting spot, to find no one was there yet.

I should have known better that these people will never be on time. Shame on me.

We finally took off around 7.30am. What I liked about the trip is the guided tour. I didn’t realized my knowledge about Sabah was THAT bad. *whistles* I need to surf the internet more.


One of the many waterfall along the way

First stop was at Nabalu. For those who are not from Sabah, Nabalu is somewhat like a market that sells local food and fruits, and souvenirs of Sabah. It’s funny how we Sabahan buy souvenirs like we’re from some foreign land or something.

Mount Kinabalu from Nabalu

The clouds swirled the mountain peak

The view of the Mount Kinabalu from Nabalu was SUPERB. I managed to get a good photo of the mountain and myself.

Most of my photos are self-snapped because for some weird reasons, pictures other people took for me turned out pretty bad.

The Mamut River

Our next stop was Poring Hot Spring. The lunch was pretty good but if I knew the trail to the Canopy Walk was crazy, I wouldn’t stuff myself so much. Not only my stamina embarrassed me, I thought I would past out from the sharp pain I felt on my right abdomen. I managed to drag myself up those stairs /hill and yes, I was the last few to reach the canopy point, but at least I didn’t need a rescue team to come and get me out right?

The Canopy Walk

Those who knows me well knows my phobia of wooden bridges. My legs went into jelly mode and I shamelessly wobble through the bridge. The canopy walk was about 41 feet off the ground and I looked down once and immediately I knew it was a BIG mistake. I said my prayers and braved myself to finish the walk. I survived ungracefully.

While the rest went to take a dip at the natural hot springs, I recuperated with two bottles of mineral water, two glasses of Iced Lemon Tea and a cup of coffee.

We stayed in a gorgeous rajah Lodge (it’s somewhat a presidential suite) that costs more than RM1,500 a night. It has a fireplace, three huge rooms, a nice dining area, a small kitchen and a fantastic view of Mount Kinabalu. I wish I owned the place.


Rajah Lodge


The living area

The fireplace

For dinner we had BBQ and steamboat buffet and it was DELICIOUS.

We planned to have a drinking session but some were not comfortable with my boss so they went to have their own party. I stayed behind because I am a nice employee and had few drinks with 2 staffs of the resort where we talked about politics and the younger generations today. Not my favorite topic but…

The first thing I saw in the morning

Breakfast

Next day, I had another feast during breakfast. All the fresh air makes me hungry. Then I was told I could go for another hike instead of the inspection. So off I went for another hike and a full stomach. The walk wasn’t as bad as the previous one but I still struggle a bit especially when I need to walk up the hill.

The Silau-Silau Trail

While walking, I was surprised to hear something/someone called out my name. It didn’t say CLARA but more like CLA-a. I looked around and guess what I saw, a HUGE frog. Or is it a toad? Anyway, I told the frog I want to take a picture and it didn’t even move. Like the butterfly. It was fluttering around as I tried to take a shot and I told it to stay put for a while and it did. Coincidence? Maybe but how cool is that?


Froggy

We came back in time for lunch but I was too full and sweaty to eat anything. We left around 1.00pm and we stopped to buy fresh food and fruits.

Gosh, I made the trip sound boring. But trust me when I said I loved d it especially in the morning where I just sit back admiring the majestic Mount Kinabalu with my favorite music blasting in my ears and I just enjoy the serenity and my own company.

Enjoying the morning view

Mount Kinabalu peaking through the trees

Look what was waiting for me when I got into bed at 1.00am!

\
Me at 6.30am!

I just love the clouds

Happy Earth Day yesterday

Did anything special for Earth Day? I did!

WOW!

OMG. Ekiel is turning three very soon and he still can't recite his alphabets properly. He could count from three to ten though. Don't ask me where his one and two gone. He'll tell you he doesn't know.

Today is Bash Clara Day

because I am getting the "heat" from every possible direction. I am pissed because the bashings were uncalled for.

The committee members themselves do not give a shit about their function. Sure I was there last year, but obviously I didn’t pay attention so I wasn’t sure of the program. I’ve asked over and over again and they told me yes, the committee would do it. So this year when I blindly agreed to emcee the event, I didn’t realize the task comes with headaches and criticism because today, I was told it was never the committee’s responsibility but mine.

What pisses me most is when the people involved went on like nothing happened.

Call me pessimistic, this is one of those days where I wish I could stay in bed and just pity myself silly.

i'm guessing...

I must look for the sign that says “Come little boy, come to mama” on my face because it is becoming ridiculous. A friend of mine called me a child molester because I have this thing for younger men. The funny thing is; the love of her life is also younger than her. *sticks tongue out*

So there was this very adorable guy, let’s call him The Delightful Dancing Lad, whom I am absolutely positively sure is very very much younger than me. Our path crossed the first time for a photo shoot I organized that involved him. The other day, I met him again for a last minute shoot. He sat next to me and for some unknown almost peculiar reason, he manja with me. It is just me or is the situation a little weird? Or is this is just some game the universe is playing with me? Or maybe I am too serious about it?

I wish things in my life would be more obvious because I sucked at this guessing game. In the end, nothing happens and when I am content, *bam* I found myself in that same puzzling circumstances again. So people, it’s not that I am heartless or cold, I am just tired and I refuse to play games.

I don’t need additional headaches.
You want, you say. You don’t want, then don’t mess with people’s head.
The world would be a much happier place if everyone knows how to play the game right.

gives back...

American Idol Gives Back. I know some people think it is just a gimmick and what not, but you must be a hardcore cold-hearted person not to be affected even the slightest bit. I am softie. I only watched the last fifteen minutes and I was holding back my tears miserably.

I cannot understand nor can I explain the many things happening to the world. I still stand by my “everyone is someone else’s moral story” theory, but I find it hard to accept that some people’s life are forever a moral story when there are many people who are blessed in many ways wasting and whining their life away. All I am asking is a little equality.

It reminded me to change my attitude about the mess in my life. Other people have bigger problems (though some people have minuscule one) and I should enjoy the life I have. When people give me peanut; I should make peanut butter instead of using them to lure unnecessary headaches in life.

I love these songs.

no understanding people

I finally talked myself into doing some housekeeping on my PC last Saturday. Everything was everywhere because time is precious and I cannot even spare few seconds saving those files in the appropriate folders. *sticks tongue out*Yes, I am THAT lazy.

Today I realized some of my documents are missing. *gasps* I must have saved the files with funny names and forget about them and mistakenly deleted them thinking it is one of those useless things I save for no reason. *smacks forehead* Must stop saving useless things/saving files blindly.

Thank goodness my life does not depend on those files.

I wonder how life would be like without the internet. The office’s email and internet are out. The IT people announced that it would only take them 40 minutes to do what they need to do. It has been 20 hours (and counting) and nothing has been done. We are losing our mind because without those two we are useless. Sure, we can do the old ways but some people just refused to corporate.

If he or she refused to come to my office to give me the hardcopy which I am willing to type, then be it. He or she cannot expect me to walk to his or her office right? Like hello? I am a kuli but not his or her kuli. *rolls eyes*I went back home early last night because I felt bad for not spending more time with my son. It is after all one of my many new year’s resolution this year. My son told me there’s blood on his head. I of course ignored him because he always made up stories. Yes. My son is an almost three year old who knows to make up stories.

When I got home, my mom told me he did cut his head. He fell from my mom’s bed and hit the side table. There wasn’t any serious bleeding, but there was a small cut. I got a mild anxiety attack. I took a picture and he looked at it the whole night. He showed the photo and told his stuffed puppy how painful it was. He even reenacted the incident. I know boys will always be boys and injuries like that are very common. I have three brothers and I do remember all the emergency trips to the hospital. I only hope he has good common sense not to give his mummy much heart attack.

i heart my new blog look

How you like my new layout?

I needed a change. Since I am unable to control my life, *tadaa* I am so the very yesterday kan? Everyone had changed and re-changed their blogs many moons ago.

Before some of you go shaking your head in horror, this is SO going to be a “slaughtering the English language” entry. I am sick tired of having to write “properly” in the office the whole day and some people ikut suka hati labeled me as a bad writer. I know I know. Writing/preference/mentality is very subjective. I know I rolled my eyes when I read the things THEY wrote BUT I don’t go around telling people they can’t write. Ha.

The funny thing is things are still thrown to me so I could waste my already limited creative juices just to be condemned to eternal kuli-ness. I have no problem being a kuli but don’t action bah.

Many things are happening these days and I am not talking about the political scene, which by the way I am not interested. I think my two colleagues’ (over) excitement is enough to make up my ignorance. Sure, they can bullshit me and I wouldn’t know the difference. *sticks tongue out* I like a good story and those “stories” are very spicy. I don’t know why I couldn’t be bothered. Maybe I am distracted by many other important things that only concern me. And Ekiel of course. In politics, I am just another statistics. See my rationale?

“Not there yet”.

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Why am I still not there when I am doing a lot more that some people? *scratches head* So funny. People should have more tact. If you don’t, the kuli-es will find that greener pasture, then you’re f***ed and not only will you have your own s*** to clean up, their s*** is your s*** too. Get my drift?

This is not a threat. I am just saying you know.

2 cuts and bruises

Have you gone through days feeling something is going to happen and yet you could never put your finger on it?

This is one of those moments. I couldn’t tell if it’s a good or bad thing. I am not saying I am a clairvoyance but my intuition (which runs in my family) is pretty strong.

Three weeks before I had the accident (I cannot remember the exact year. 2003? 2004?) I kept getting this image that I would be in an accident and injure both my legs. It was scary.

8 Sept, (I remember the date because it was my dad’s birthday) my friends and I went to Malacca for a friend’s wedding. My ride to Malacca was a little scary because my friend drove like a mad woman. So on the way back, I though I’d be safer to ride in another friend’s car. I guess when it’s meant to happen, it will happen no matter what.

By the way, have I written this entry before? Feels like it but I couldn’t find it.

Anyway, we were on our way to meet a friend and I asked my friend to use the Amcorp Mall route. Before the round about I saw a rider (motorcycle) waving his hand like a mad man. So I turn to my driver friend and asked her what the guy’s problem was when I saw a car, mid air heading our direction.

I remember seeing the tyres of the car and thinking, this must be it. I also remember seeing the other car’s roof (let’s call it Idiotic Young Girl Driver) hitting my friend’s car hood and the impact shattered the windshield. The Idiotic Young Girl Driver’s car then landed on the ground. There was this eerie silence as I saw the Idiotic Young Girl Driver’s car head between the steering wheel and the dashboard. I thought she was a goner when suddenly she started screaming. My friends and I (there were four of us in the car and I was in the passenger seat in front) made sure we were okay. I remember seeing lots of blood and the first thing I did was to check my face on the mirror. I know, it’s very vain and stupid of me right? But trust me when I said that is just one of the idiotic things I did that evening.

There were people who helped the Idiotic Young Girl Driver. For some reason the four of us just sat in the car. Not sure what to do. My friend, the driver and I were bleeding from the windshield glass. Some guys came and told us to come out from the car. I remembered a lady offered to send us to the hospital but I told her to send the other Idiotic Young Girl Driver first since our friends (one of my friend called them immediately after the accident) were coming to get us.

So we sat beside the drain in front of a house. I remember a guy; a good looking guy gave us few bottles of mineral water. So gatal oh kan? I was laughing and crying all at the same time. I was still bleeding and I felt numb on both legs. When I lifted up my baju kurung skirt I saw two huge bruises, one on each leg. Anyway, while waiting for our friend, I saw the bunga telur we got from the wedding on the road. I have no idea how it got there. So I told my friend Retired Party Princess to pick them up because I want them. She hesitated and I insisted so she did because she is a good friend and I still keep it for some reasons.

I had to wait forever before my ex-boss (we were supposed to help out for an event which was nearby) used his “charm” to get doctor to check on me. Before that, a nurse attended to me. I was still a little disorientated and the whole situation felt awkward so I tried to make small talk. I asked the nurse the condition of the Idiotic Young Girl Driver. I was scolded for being concerned. She is after all, the reason I am laying on the hospital bed with bleeding hands and bruised legs. O-kay.

My cut didn’t need stitches and my legs were fine (did an X-ray just in case). I paid rm250 for the treatment which I couldn’t claim from the Driver of the Idiotic Car. *sticks tongue out*

After a few days, I finally connected all the dots together. I realized that I no longer have those images and though in that image my leg injury was much more severe, the bruises on both legs were exactly the spot. Some of you may think it has no connection what so ever and I am like Phoebe from Friends because I believe I am making sense when the rest of the world disagrees, but I believe in my intuition, which by the way has helped me in so many circumstances.

In that incident, I also learned to appreciate (yes, you may start yawning here) life a bit more. Not many people were given a second chance.

The Idiotic Young Girl Driver too had a second a chance because she only suffered dislocated shoulder and jaw. I found out she went out controlled when driving at the roundabout because she was speeding. Apparently she had a fight with her boyfriend, who by the way arrived at the scene just few minutes later.

Now some of you will understand why I am terrified of driving and I get really nervous with the way some drivers drive their car. I am not embarrassed to say I am still traumatized to this day.

So people, have a heart. Be safe. Do think about other people. If you have a misunderstanding with your other half, don’t drive. Walk. Run if you must.

Don’t let me start about drink and drive. *raises one eyebrow*

skirt? I think not.

Will wearing skirt improves efficiency and increases productivity?
Before you could finish the sentence, I’d rolled my eyes.
Sadly some people think this would do the trick though I believe there are many other motives to this insane direction.

To those people “Are you having fun yet?”
(Why can’t people play games with only the intended, not the rest of the world)

Thank goodness I managed to get myself out of this craziness. For once my ‘nightmare’ saves the day. *claps hands*

People have always asked me to fight other people’s battle.
Is it because I am a good soldier or because I am easily bullied?
Most time it is difficult to tell.

I hate being helpless. I wish I am like one the Heroes chick. All I need to do is read a book about a certain thing and voila! I am an expert. Why do some people assume I know nothing when I do know something and some assume I know everything when I don’t have a clue.

So funny.
Life is crazy like that.

i'm bugged

Ha. Ha. Ha. Very. Funny.
Every time when I thought it is over, when I think I finally got a grip of myself, I am reminded again that I am not in control. One reminder is never enough. I needed two in less than 30 minutes. *claps hand* So smart. *sticks tongue out*

I still wish I could read minds. I know it is suicidal especially for someone emotional like me. But my need to know wins over my need to be happy. I am still very convinced that the power will solve more than half of my headaches.

The ability to be an idiot is also very tempting.

Aquarius
Words convey feelings, but there is nothing like human contact to make a connection.

*raises eyebrow*
Just stab me with the stapler will you?

Happy Easter!

I am like the cookie in the advertisement.
“Now you see it, now you don’t!”
I wish I could control what is happening but this is reality and it doesn’t come with a magic remote control.
*makes sad face*

These days it felt as if someone put my entire life in a blender.
A very painful, mentally and physically, experience.
Can someone please pull the plug and let me out?

Even my hormones are making fun of me. My temper is all over the place and the best thing is I can only keep the anger to myself. That can’t be healthy right? My headaches are back.

At my age, I should be able to stand my ground.
*head hangs in shame*

Should is sometime a very big word.

Sat/d

Not everything in life is free.
I thought everyone especially those in their thirties should know this.
Obviously I am wrong.

I don’t understand how some people think the world owes them and expect to be treated like a bloody king/queen. The funny thing is, many good things happen to them and yet they still whine about their not so miserable life.

Am I one of these people? Maybe.

I still don’t understand many other things too.
It starts to piss me off. Again.

favoritism

I spent the whole day yesterday thinking what I am thinking about. I know to most people, that don’t make sense, but believe me when you’re in my size 9 shoes this day comes like the Friday 13th. Occasionally but scary.

I have an assignment to finish but I couldn’t force myself to do it. I keep telling myself I’ll do it later but that later never comes. So I did my imagination run wild, and run wild it did. There are times when I wonder if my imagination would worth anything.

Some people tell me I’ve been watching too much cartoon.

Someone asked me how a mother could treat her children differently. You know, some get better treatment than the rest. Another individual mentions that sometimes when you hardly see certain children, surely you will pay them the extra attention. That someone disagreed. When I said I have no comment on this matter, that someone gave me a killer look. If she thinks I am referring to her, then yes I am.

We’re human beings. We cannot help it to play favorites. *sighs*

I know I should have kept my mouth shut, but my brain was enjoying the crabs so much it didn’t pay attention to what goes out from the mouth, only to what comes in.

I admit I have favorites too though I am not going to list them here. I am sure everyone knows it too. It is my fault if I could connect better with some people but not the rest? It doesn’t mean I don’t like you. I just won’t share you the finer details of that *ahem* dream I had last night. Know what I mean? The example, not the dream.

I know some of my friends connect better with each other than me; I will respect that bonding and give them the space to breathe. I know how annoying it is when some people poke their unwanted nose in private conversations. I don’t.

There are times when I misunderstood the “connection”. When I finally realized my mistake, of course it felt shitty but shame on me for being so sad.

I think favoritism sucks but it is normal as long it doesn’t go overboard. I know I sound like a mad woman. But this is how I look at it. With my head rested on the table. This doesn’t mean I am unkind to some people. I am always nice.

a day in Lala Land

Queen of Lala Land sometimes wish her idiocy would keep herself hidden forever.
Those occasional moments where her judgment goes for a ciggie break, idiocy would creeps in and creates chaos. Most times common sense would be able to iron things out, but sometimes pessimism would taunt and mess Queen of Lala Land’s mind. When that happens, Queen of Lala Land imagines that the whole world is laughing at her.

She was sure the knights of The Gentle Prince were laughing at her this morning as she walked in to The Land of Drama and Headaches. Queen of Lala Land hid behind her ice cell, embarrassed and sad. Embarrassed because the subjects of The Land of Drama and Headaches now thinks she is desperate and dangerous. Sad because this is not what Queen of Lala Land imagined would happen.

So what did Queen of Lala Land learned from this?To swallow it like a true queen and held her head up high. They do not need to know she is shamelessly nervous in the inside.

TGIF. *woohoo*

I am so tired.
*yawns like a lazy hippo*

I know I’ve been busy with work the past few days.
The problem is I couldn’t tell you what I did.
Boleh?

At times like this I could use a cold beer, a hug and a good laugh.

Talking about good laugh, the universe is playing another joke on me. Why can’t some people use their head? Do they seriously think it’s funny? Good for them for having courage but they shouldn’t think they are doing the rest of us a favor. *rolls eyes* I guess it’s my fault as well for not keeping my mouth shut. Some information/things aren’t meant for sharing.

The Silly Squirrel told The Broken Japanese Anime Hero that someone kirim salam/ sends her regards. (in English it sounds so formal). With the Queen of Lala Land around. The Queen of Lala Land would have jumped into the see if she hadn’t forgotten that she could not swim. Though the Queen of Lala Land warned The Silly Squirrel to cut it out, The Silly Squirrel continued her silliness by telling The Broken Japanese Anime Hero she wants to talk about the regards sent.

Queen of Lala Land is now packing her kingdom to move to Pluto, the once a planet but apparently it is the largest member of a distinct region called the Kuiper belt.

the other night...

Someone asked me why I did not blog about the outing we had few weeks ago.
The answer is simple. I do not know how to describe that night. Not without shaking my head, roll my eyes and smiling like a 16 year old girl.

For my birthday, a friend invited a few guys (because I am such a sad case) on my behalf. I gave her two names, of guys whom I thought was cute. Don’t start about “looks is not everything” because I’ve been given that speech too many times. I know the argument inside out. *sticks tongue out*

Anyway, one showed up. *cheers* The Broken Japanese Anime Hero even gave me an angpow which was so cute. Of course I refused it because I felt that if I take it; it’ll be like a twelve year old birthday.

Like every men I meet, The Broken Japanese Anime Hero broke down and started pouring his heart out. To my friend at first, but I wanted to be the heroine so I forced myself in the conversation. *evil laugh* I have this thing about nursing broken people. Besides, she wasn’t interested, or so she said. *whistles*

Towards the end of the night, after the constant messages and calls he received, The Broken Japanese Anime Hero was “allowed” to go home because it wasn’t fun anymore.

Yes, the above story has gone through Lala Land censorship board but there wasn’t much to be censored anyway.

Last night (might as well get this blogged as well), we had another outing. The Cherry Third Quarter Kinky Queen and I arranged another thing with some friends. The word I would use to describe last night is funny. I’m sorry but when I think about it, it was funny.

So, the important guest was no show. Instead he hooked us up with his friends. Aren’t you laughing already? Then, the I Don’t Trust Women Anymore But I Cannot Be Trusted Too narrated us his love history. He lost his virginity at sixteen. *evil laugh* I didn’t know what to do with the information so I thought I’d share it with everyone.

Some people think I made it up when I tell them I am the official counsellor for drunkard men in any of the entertainment outlet. I must have a sign across my forehead that says “I care!”.

The I Don’t Trust Women Anymore But I Cannot Be Trusted Too gave us the permission to do whatever we please, which by the way is NOT THE WAY TO A WOMAN’S HEART!!! Sadly, I have heard almost the same line three times this month.

What happened to romance?
Did he move to the moon?

After the two outings, I don’t think I will be going out anytime soon.
It’s tiring. Though I enjoyed myself, it wasn’t what I’ve imagined or hoped it would be.
*whistles*