Go Go Power Rangers

If I could have super powers, I would choose to the ability to read minds.
Why not? It would definitely make my life less complicated for sure.
I will never get my heart broken nor would I ever embarrass myself ever again.
I know I shouldn’t let those people get to me, but it is so tiring to pretend it didn’t matter.
Just because they assume I didn’t mind (most prob they think I’m stupid) they do it over and over and over again. If I listen to my heart, I would "Otromen" all these people. -> Otromen = Ultramen (a Japanese superhero) It’ll be cool to know what are they thinking about me. Good and bad. Doesn’t matter.

People who couldn't handle a joke should not play jokes on other people.

It’s really funny how some people think it’s okay to make fun of other people but become upset when the "making fun" was redirected towards them. *chuckle* I don’t think I am THAT witty but I know I can be sarcastic when I want too. I admit most times I speak before I think. Thank goodness with the little amount of wit I have, I hardly make a fool out of myself. But I suspect most people are actually laughing at me instead of laughing with me. :P Oh well, at least I am not a sourpuss like some people. *rolls eyes*

Before, when you make fun of me, I’ll just smile and keep my mouth shut. Now, when you make fun of me, I twist it and we ended up laughing at you. Not so funny anymore eh? *evil laugh* She is still sulking until today. Do me a favor; please go away.

My mind is MIA. I am going about with my daily routine/work without it. It’s like I am here but my mind/concentration is elsewhere. Like Robocop minus the ensemble and wiring. I still feel shitty and I am beginning to wonder if there is more to this fever/flu thing. *touch wood* I’ll wait few more days and see how it goes. The doctor said it is just some viral infection.

I did go to see the doctor last Wednesday. I went after work, and the resident doctor wasn’t in. I didn’t know this. I was expecting to see an old Indian doctor but someone else greeted me in the room. I was surprised and wondered if I have walked in to the wrong room. He was a young Chinese/Sino Kadazan guy? I don’t know which ethnic group he belongs to. He was pleasant looking and speaks good English. Hee. I also think he was bored and was paying all his attention to me a little too much. I was his only patient. Well at least during the whole time I was there. He thoroughly asked me every question, checking everything from blood pressure, heartbeat, temperature checking, eyes, ears, nose, and throat. BTW, I find it weird he took my temperature with that thing that looks like a piece of paper you stick on your forehead. Isn’t that for babies? So he told me it was just viral infection and he sends me off with some painkillers, vitamin C and something for my nausea. He did also say if I don’t get better in a couple of days, I need to come back because there are sickness that takes days to develop. *rolls eyes*

So. It’s Friday. Tomorrow is the first Creative Writing class. I am a little nervous and worried. I admit I am a little paranoid when it comes to writing for other people. Sure I write/blog but it’s different kan? I don’t care, well I do care about the grammars or the spelling errors or whether my writing makes sense to other people but to let other people who claims they’re good enough to grade my writing is scary. Although I never had someone tell me I write badly, but there is always a first time for everything. Wait, my boss thinks my press release is acceptable. BUT, I was writing out of nothing. Oh well. I just hope I am not the worst out of the lot. I am not competitive. I just don’t like people to think I am a sad case. Heh? *LOL*

"Do you know what a blog is?"
WTF? Bad enough some people in the office only speaks to me in BM although they speak fluent English, to ask me if I know what a blog is was really… annoying. Do I look like someone who’s been living under a coconut shell in the middle of the jungle? I just nod my head and keep my mouth shut. I need the blog to bitch.

I know I look shitty because I couldn’t be bothered about grooming/makeup. Too tiring la. Not wearing "Chinese Opera Makeup" -> borrowed that phrase from a friend. *ahaks* like most of them in the office doesn’t mean I am less productive/intelligent/interesting individual. I just don’t waste my time parading myself looking for attention. If I want attention, I rather talk to my sister’s dead fish.

For some reason, my insomnia is back. The dark circle under my eyes could put those panda bears to shame. I do not want to look myself in the mirrors/pictures because when I do, I just want to cry. I don’t hate myself. I just dislike, no, hate, no, dislike, err... at the moment hate the packaging I came with. I am no supermodel. I am not even physically attractive. I have always accepted the fact that I am average. It’s just that lately my level of confidence for the physical look department has been running REALLY low. REALLY REALLY LOW. I must have accidentally used it up while fighting the evil witch in the office.

Misfortunes come in packs. One problem after the other. Although it is mostly about material/earthly things, it is enough to give me a headache if not a heart attack. I wish money grow on tree. When I hit the jackpot, the first thing I will do is cry thankfully. Notice how optimistic I am even when everything else is going down? Seriously, the universe needs to get a hobby or at least a new "target" so they could play this cruel jokes on them instead.

I have also been watching to many mushy movies that led me to think I am never going to find my true love. Ever. Why you ask? One of the many reasons are, those who have found love do not look anything like me. They have perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect teeth, perfect body, perfect everything. Even when they wake up in the morning with the bird flu, they still look so beautiful. Other reasons would be I am looking for something that doesn’t exist/extinct and the universe does not have better things to do but to play their cruel jokes on me.

I think it’s for my medication. You notice it too huh?

Gesundheit!

*achoo* *sniff sniff*
My youngest sister went to KL a last week and all she brought was this lousy virus.
*achoo*

She passed the virus to my son, and my son passed it to my mom and I, and my mom passed it to my dad. I am thinking to share it with everyone in the office. *evil laugh* My plan is working because a colleague is complaining of headache and watery eyes. *evil laugh* It is really tiring but taking an MC means one unpaid day. Oh well, if I am still sick tomorrow I will go and see the panel doctor. I have been swallowing so many medications I wonder if I would overdose. If I do, well, I will definitely become famous the next day. Everyone just loves a good gossip/story.

Thank goodness for the massage later. I really need it.

I love weddings. I already know how my wedding would be. It will be simple and intimate. I attended a wedding with 3,000 guests, buffet style. The queue was so long, my friends and I decided to leave and have our dinner elsewhere. One guy threatened to eat his own tongue if he is not provided with food immediately! *LOL* I was shocked to see that many guests though I suspect most of them are there for the free food/liquor. I mean, the father of the bride was giving a speech, but people were already lining up at the buffet table! *tsk tsk tsk* If I were the bride, I will be pretty pissed off. I want people to look and me and tell me how beautiful and radiant I look; instead of wondering what are they serving for dinner or where did the "Beer Girls" go with their refills. *rolls eyes*

Wedding and relationships seems to be the topic of my weekend. Having the flu and allergic reaction isn’t helping either. It is so bloody cold in the office now, if I have balls, it would be frozen by now. *chuckle* The running nose is almost… err.. drying? *LOL* The fever is still here though. *dang* I foresee an MC tomorrow unless I wake up all healthy.

###

I did take that MC. Well I took an unpaid leave actually. My dad’s car had to break down that day. I was having high fever, aching bones, the so-called coughing and the half-dry/half runny nose. I spent the day sleeping while my mom look after my sick and demanding son. I think the office air-cond made me worse. I am just so lazy to carry extra sweater or something in the office and I still haven’t brought one in. Oh well, maybe next week after I clean it.

Oh, the massage Monday night was superb. I actually slept towards the end of the massage. Maybe I was too tired/not feeling so well, but it felt like the best massage I had ever had. Now I need another massage *whistle*

It has been five days since I started falling sick, and I still feel a little shitty, groggy and the muscles are still aching. Been doing a lot of physical work and it is draining a lot of my energy and sanity not to hide under my covers (not that I sleep with any!) when it is time to wake and get my arse moving or otherwise I will be late for work. I always try to be a helpful and "passionate" team member, but it is weird when other people from the other department noticed how pale and sickly I looked but no one in my team seems to notice or care.

Oh well.

So, my mom is going to China with the rest of her "clique" -> my gramps, uncles & aunties. Wish I were invited. I need to take few days off work to look after Ekiel. I manage to arrange sitters so I only need three days off. Then the boss suggested that if I like I could drop him off at the Kiddies Club so I don’t need time off. My Ekiel? In a day care? Honestly I welcome the idea. BUT my Ekiel is a little difficult to handle. He doesn’t do strangers and is very attached to certain family members. I could already imagine the horror of those poor day care workers once Ekiel starts throwing his tantrums. *ahaks* My mom, sisters, brothers and dad complained about their trip to KL. "Your son is a nightmare." "He throws tantrums when he doesn’t get what he wants." "He is spoilt." "He is troublesome." "Difficult." I could go on and on.

The other thing would be my mom. She has this thing about strangers taking care of her children/grandchildren. Every time she complains how difficult it is to look after Ekiel, I’ll suggest pre-school or day care center then she will commented how unsafe it is or how kids can easily get sick from mixing from other kids and so on. So even when Ekiel is ready, my mom will never be ready.

Although I know what my mom will think, I will run the idea by her. Who knows, the excitement about the China trip may change her mind.

Blogger to pay for lack of imagination - New Straits Times (21 September 2006 - pg14)

In a case that will surely excite the netizens of Malaysia, a student is being charged for using only one emoticon in all of her blog entries.

Sasparilla Chen. 17, has been keeping a blog for the past year to record thrilling moments in her life such as her exam preparations, her on-off infatuation with a Thai VJ, and surprise birthday parties for her friends. Little did she know that her blog was being monitored by people other than her immediate "posse" – and this is where her troubles started.
Ambi Mohan, head of the popular Malaysian Linguistic Association (MALAS), lodged a police report against Chen for always using only the standard smiley [:)] emoticon in each of her 28 blog entries. :I can’t believe she could be so lazy," says Ambi in his tastefully appointed office in Putrajaya. "Does she not know that keyboards can create many other emoticons such as the wink [ ;-)] or the frown [L]?"

"Yes, my association is now branching out into the Internet, although we don’t have yet a website," he continues. "My interest in the Internet started when my sister Anadil pointed out to me that Googling my name provided 40 hits! So it is now my duty to monitor linguistic usage on the Web."

On his specific beef against Chen, he says: "Using only one emoticon shows that she lacks an imaginative palette. It’s like a painter who only uses one color. Surely such a painter will be rejected by the art world. But as blogs are not regulated by the government, such abuses are permitted to occur. Like her entry on a celebrity’s wedding which simply says, "She married a rich Datuk" and is followed by the smiley emoticon. Any fool can tell you the proper emoticon should be a sad one [:-<] because any 17-year-old girl would surely be unhappy that yet another rich Datuk has been taken off the market!"

Chen could not be reached for comment. It is understood that she has been traumatized by the accusations against her that she has temporarily taken down her blog.

###

Hee. This is just a parody written by Amir Muhammad.
But imagine if this is true, die larr me.

Right Thurr

Where has the weekend go?
I am still tired and no, I did not do any spring cleaning that I have been planning since… who knows when. All I do is watch TV, minimal cleaning and lots of sleeping. I also manage to catch up with friends or rather updated myself with their latest happening through their profiles. Everyone seems to be doing just fine and some are doing A LOT better. I am SO VERY THE JEALOUS but hey, they deserve it. Though there are a few whom I think doesn’t deserve that much of happiness but I am not going to argue about that again. Not today.

Last Friday, some friends and I headed down to the local club. We needed to chill after the insanity we have to face in the office. It has been a while since I REALLY party. We started with a bitching session which is compulsory. It helps to get those frustrations out. Btw, don’t you dare roll your eyes on me, because admit it, you do it too. Yes, you men bitch too. Ha.

We were talking about people + exes and their characters. Tittle-tattles. Life would be less complicated if people would just stop judging other people. PERSONAL means PRIVATE and not to be the subject of your lunch break. :P I admit I do talk about other people but I never discuss about your personal life or choices. I comment on work ethics. Interpersonal skills. Common sense.

It is sad to know some people have nothing better to. Don’t be surprise if they have a bigger closet with skeletons in them.

So, after those people in the café gave us that dirty look for overstaying, we moved to the club. The last time I club in town was well, ages ago. About 4 years? I don’t know what to expect really. My worst case scenario would be – me bored and thank goodness it wasn’t that bad. The crowd sucked, sure. The band was really good even the lead singer whose head and feet are too small for his body. If I close my eyes and listen to him sing, I would SO fall in love with him. One of the girl singers was superb and she also has a very COOL tattoo.

There were many bad dancers and “Young & Dangerous” wannabes. Where did all these people get their fashion tips anyway? I swear there were a lot of “Happy” guys there too, not that I have anything against them. It’s just nice to see strong, macho good looking straight men once in a while. I needed to “guy watch” that night, but that SO DID NOT HAPPENED. *sigh* Btw, is it true that the club is actually a “Happy” joint? Wow. A Happy Bar in a not-so-open-minded community. That’s development to you people!

The chicks were pretty happening. Well, some of them are. Some are trying too hard, but that is just my opinion. The DJ was playing pretty cool stuff until he started the rev music. It wasn’t that bad, but my friends couldn’t handle it and I am older than these people.

We headed to another club. It was a pretty cool place but the DJ too started playing some house music and it was our signal to head home.

Do I miss my partying days? Yes, that night was one of those nights when I miss my Joget Girls and Lil Party Bro A LOT. Do I want my old life back NO. While I was in the club, I spaced out missing my Ekiel so much until one of them snapped me back into reality. I just needed to unwind and dance a little which was impossible with the 3” x 3” space I had. Oh well, there’s always next week. LOL.

I miss him like crazy...

I don’t want to sound so mushy, but I miss my Ekiel *sob sob*
He is now “holidaying” in KL with my mom, dad and two sisters.
Well, they’re in KL for my sis’ convo and Ekiel is there because I couldn’t get off work to stay at home with him.
I call them almost three times a day, just to ask what Ekiel is doing and all.
Apparenly he doesn't even remember me. *sigh*
I tried talking to him, but he just listened and wouldn’t say a word.
He is having the time of his life because he is getting all the attention from his uncles and aunties.
Also because he gets to go out to new places everyday and he is bribed with biscuits and snacks to keep him quiet. *rolls eyes*

I should enjoy the “freedom” but honestly, I just don’t know what to do with the time and I am BORED. I am even am thinking of cleaning the house tomorrow. Tomorrow because today I am having a slight fever and flu because of the rain last night. I am too lazy and broke to go out.

Oh well. It’s not like I never parted with him before. My mom is so gonna make fun of me when she finds out. When Ekiel is at home, I sometimes act like I don’t care because I don’t want to pamper him so much. Honestly, I thought I would enjoy and appreciate this time off from late night tantrums, chasing after him making sure he won’t injure himself, entertaining all his whims and fancies. I actually miss all that.

I need to have a life. Soon.

Pic of him before and after his hair cut. I prefer the old hairstyle but EVERYONE is complaining he looks like a girl/asking if he is a girl -> so what la. He is my son and I like to see him looking like all “rugged” and messy! My mom got fed up and decided to cut his hair. I agreed thinking she will only cut the curls off. When she first tried cutting it, Ekiel ended up looking like a monk. She wasn't happy with the result (she claims she couldn't cut it properly) so she took him to the hairstylist. When I came home from work, I was shocked to see him looking like an accountant. Hee. My poor baby. I will protect you from you grandma the next time you start "looking like a girl". I promise.

whatever will be will be

A colleague read my palm the other day.
He said:
- When you were still in school, your friends didn’t really like you and talked about you behind your back.
True/False?
->I guess it’s true. I am pretty sure people still talk behind my back now anyway.

- You’re super flirtatious
True/False?
-> HAHAHA. Me?

- You don’t get jealous easily
True/False?-> Not really.

- You are very playful
True/False?
-> Err… I like to think I am a very mature and responsible person. Ha.

- You can make money doing business out of simple things
-> does the palm tell you where I can find money to start that business of mine?

Then, he was interrupted or rather concentrated on someone else’ palm.

I admit I was a palm reading/tarot cards/ feng shui/etc junkie.
I don’t like surprises.
I need to know what is going to happen.
I have to know what to expect of the unexpected.
So I turn to the above for comfort and prepare myself for the good or worse.
Being the sometime smart and most time sensible girl I am, I of course don’t depend my whole life on what the card/tea leaves/hand print/song has to say. I am more the “follow my instinct/head” kinda girl. I don’t listen to my heart as often as I like because it seems the heart only makes decision that leads to frustration and massive heartache.

Now I just don’t know anymore.

I begin to wonder if I ever really know what is going on. For all I know, I am still clueless and what I think is right, is not exactly the right thing but I will never know because I assume everything is all right.

Anyway, we just have to wait and see.

Someone told me I am going to find the love of my life after I am twenty eight. I will settle down after I am twenty nine. Ha.

Spinning around

I learned that when other people do no care about their job/task/project, I shouldn’t give a damn either.
I should be happy because it means lesser work for me.
But why do I feel so crappy?

I had one of those nightmares again last night.
It has been a while since I last had them.
At one point in life, I was having a tough time sleeping because I was haunted by my never-ending nightmares. It effected my days too. I was always late for work and I had to drag myself everywhere I go.
After a while it stopped. It will come back once in a while especially when I have a lot of things in mind. *sigh*

In my dream last night, I was in the car with my dad and one of my sister.
We were about to do a U-turn to pick up another sister when we saw a commotion in a shop.
Someone had gone amok and slashing everyone in the shop with a carving knife.
There was blood everywhere.
I also saw the guy chopped off another guy’s hand.
*grossed out*
I also remembered a boy in blue and white t-shirt soaked with blood was carried by a man.
It was so real, when I woke up, I was feeling really sick.
It wasn’t as bad as those dreams I used to have, but I cannot stand the sight of blood, even in my dreams I was squirmish. I couldn’t go back to sleep because I was afraid the dream would continue (it happened all the time).

When I was finally dozing off, Ekiel decided to be all fussy and demanding. He wanted his bottle, go back to sleep and go downstairs all at one time. I told him to make up his mind, so he settled with the bottle first then try my patience by wanting to go down and go back up again after 5 minutes. He was about to fall asleep when he suddenly decides he wants to go down instead. My mom took him from me, and I try to get more sleep. Of course that did not happened.
So I am dragging myself around the office today.

I am having a headache.
It’s difficult to breathe because something is wrong with the ventilator. I think.
The air is stale and the work is boring.
For the past few days, it feels like I am working in a factory.
Cutting over 1,200 pcs of paper, sticking 450 labels, printing and clipping over 1,000 pcs of paper, compiling 60 pcs of press kits.
*head banging on keyboard*
I wish I am the boss so I don’t have to do all this s***.
I just tell people what to do and blame my incompetent staff for everything even when it was my fault most jobs are delayed. And I just found out my boss makes 10 times more than I do. Maybe I should put that in my job appraisal.

"Where do you see yourself within the next two years?"
Taking over your job.

Buzzzzz

Busy. Busy. Busy.
Work has been hectic.
One task/job after another.
I don’t mind really.
It takes my mind off many many unnecessary things.
BUT it will be nice, if some people have the brains not to dump more work on me when I am already overloaded and behind schedule or to offer help when all they do is downloading mp3 illegally using the office’s computer the whole day and whining about the work when all they have is JUST ONE SIMPLE job.
Oh well, if they don’t make my life miserable than the world would be a happier place to live in and we SOOO do not want that *roll eyes*

The world is small.
I knew that.
Maybe it’s just me, but I find the world become smaller ever since I got back.
It is scary.
Scary because I cannot run away when I need to.
Not run away literally, but run away from people who know someone who knows someone who knows me and my family. You know larr what I mean. I know it’s not a big deal but seriously, I am content with the family, friends and people I know now. I find it really funny when some people tell me, “Oh, he is my brother’s friend’s friend”. I mean, what am I suppose to do with that information?

I guess I am just tired.
I know think too much.
How can I not?
People throw tantrums at me and their excuse is nobody cares what they go through and how their heart aches.
I’m sorry, but the world does not revolve around you.
My heart is aching and my head is spinning, do you care?
I guess not.

Life is not THAT bad.
Really.

Ekiel is now walking.
The only problem is he walks wherever he fancies.
When he gets a little excited, he will walk too fast and somehow trips himself.
I swear I almost had a heart attack the other day when he was running toward the slope.
Or when he runs into other people. He haven’t understand the concept of avoiding other people who are coming you way.

My mom just cut his hair because people commented Ekiel looks like a girl. I honestly don’t see it and prefer him with his curls. Now he looks like one of those monks in Robin Hood. Hmm…

My grandma just sent over lots of durians. *yummy* Ekiel doesn’t like it though. He said “Bebau” (smelly) when I tried to feed him with one. He even left us alone and did not even try to poke the durians like he usually does with whatever we are eating.

I also have a gathering I am looking forward to next Sunday. Meeting some friends whom I met through Multiply. These people are my supporters when I am in a low, clap the loudest when I have done something great and make me laugh out loud when I need some mood booster. We share and we encourage each other. They are my angels especially when I go crazy with stuff in the office or even at home. Hee.

Looking forward for Christmas too. I know it is only September, but hey, I miss Christmas.

Mega Sale = Mega Broke

I am going to take a five-minute break.
I HAVE LOADS OF WORK to do and I AM SO DAMN LAZY to do it.
Later larr. Why should I work so hard when other people are taking credit for my work?

Went out with my mom yesterday.
Left Ekiel at home with my sisters who are obviously upset.
Oh well.

I wish I could shop till I drop because they say shopping is therapeutic but I am on a very very tight budget.
I spent more than I should but it was just so tempting.
I hadn’t bought anything for Ekiel or myself for a very long time and I think we deserve a nice treat.
So I bought 2 pairs of shoes for myself *grinning*, an eye shadow pallet, a pair of loop earring, 3 hair clips and a small jewelry organizer. For Ekiel, I bought him 4 pairs of clothes, Ekiel’s first two toothbrushes (buy one free one), one airplane model (he loves airplane!) and one musical instrument set.
Ekiel was more interested in the plastic wrappers than any of his new stuff. Hee.
But all the things were worth it. Bought everything at discounted price.
So, NO MORE SHOPPING until Christmas. *sigh*

It’s only the first day of the month and I am already broke.
*head banging on table*
Welcome to my life.

Mommy

My son is still refusing to walk. He would take a couple of steps and looks at you for compliments. So very the minta puji. I admit there are times when he is a brat but most times he is simply loveable.

Story 1: My son was doodling on a piece of paper with a blunt pencil. I absentmindedly told him "Ekiel, draw mommy’s face". He looked at me, came over, holds my shoulder and started drawing ON MY FACE. *sigh* It was painful and embarrassing because my sisters were laughing at me.
Moral of the story: BE SPECIFIC

Story 2: It was midnight and my son refuses to sleep. He found a scientific calculator and used it to knock against the floor. I took the calculator from him and pretend to hide it under the mattress. What my son doesn’t know is I have actually given the calculator to my sister. Ekiel is so determined to have the calculator back actually tried to lift the mattress (he managed to lift it a little) and look for the calculator. When he became tired, he made me (by pushing, pulling, pinching me) lift the mattress for him while he continued the search. He became upset and started screaming and my mom came to comfort him because according to my mom it’s already midnight and she didn’t want the neighbors to call the police.
Moral of the story: NEVER GIVE UP

That’s my boy.
Despite all that, I believe he is actually observant and sensitive about the emotions of people around him.
I was having a tough day. I asked him if he wanted to come up to the room with me and he refused. So I went to have some time alone and clear my head. Not long after that my brother sent him to the room. I kept quiet and let him play on his own. Suddenly he came to me and said "Mommy. Nenen (bottle)". That was the first time he called me mommy. I immediately forgotten about my bad day and made his bottle. I talked to him about my feelings and the things I wish I could give to him. He finished he bottle and was playing on his own. He then again did something unexpected. He came to me and said "Mommy". He smiled, laughed and kissed me couple of times without being asked.

From a bad day, that was one of the best and beautiful nights in my life.

Having a bad day?

Some people don’t understand why anyone would wanna tell the whole world about their personal life.

I agree. Only crazy people would do that. Hee. I blog because I need a way to channel my frustration. I swear I am not like this in person. *whistles* I do try my damnest best to be optimistic and cheerful and all that because I just feel there is no point in arguing or retaliating. You scream at the top of your lungs, accusing and defending yourself and then what? You only embarrass yourself kan? I rather find a way to rectify whatever it is that is needed to be done, whine about it on the net and move on with my life.

And that is how I keep myself from stealing car tires and hitting anyone with my slippers.

Considerate. Thoughtful. How hard is it? When people tell me I am thoughtful or the sensible one, I was like, "OMG. I am boring". Hee. I didn’t realize it was actually somewhat a compliment. Okay, maybe it was sarcasm BUT I AM TYRING TO BE OPTIMISTIC here. Anyway, it saddens me to see how some people demand other people to be considerate and nice to them when they themselves fail to demonstrate the "love". *tsk tsk tsk*

I understand fully how you feel when you’re having a bad day BUT you do not try to spread it to everyone you see kan? It is really tiring to entertain these people. Taking a lot of my patience and wit too especially these days when I don’t have the time to vent out my frustration via blogging. So last night, I snapped and who was my victim? My mom. I know she only has the good-est intention but she commented/attacked my most sensitive battle – my weight. Oh well, I will try to make it up to her.

I am gaining weight by the minute. Life is so bloody unfair. I don’t think I eat THAT much. *whistles* I don’t know. Food is the only comfort I know these days. "I’m having a bad day" *munch munch munch*
"I’m bored" *munch munch munch* Food is Friends. I’m craving for some pasta. *banging head on table*

Last Week's Entry - don't remember when I started writing it

Finally!
Some extra time for me to whine about my "not so interesting" life.
*yay*

I’m alone in the office/room.
Some went for their K class, some who knows where -> I don’t get paid to baby-sit these people.
I am pretty sure I have done all the important/urgent tasks given to me.
If I haven’t, then "too bad Eugene!"

It has been another roller coaster ride.
It’s tiring and a pain in the arse.
If I were emotional or psychotic, I would have beaten that particular person with my one-inch heel and I still wouldn’t feel better.
I was -this close- to tell that particular person off but I am blessed with a sane mind.

It is just me or is the whole world trying my patience?

Dang.
My train of thoughts just crashed.
That particular person is baaackkkk.

Day 2.
I can’t believe I am taking this much of time just to finish an entry.
Oh well, what do you expect when I am writing/typing while doing my work at the same time.
That’s multi-tasking!

The pot calling the kettle black.
This is the case.
I was told there wasn’t any politics going on in this department and they are all one big happy family.
Excuse me?
She is either a) high on something b) blur sotong c) easily pleased d) her staffs are wonderfully talented actor/actress who puts the happy face for show e) all the above.

If you put aside your frustration and loathing, and look at things with your head tilted to one side preferably the right side, it is kinda funny.
You have X who calls Y incompetent and X is the person who takes the time to finish certain job because she doesn’t like to be rush and wants to teach those people to not give us a last minute job and expect the thing to be done immediately. <-Does that makes any sense?

I make it sound as if I am the only one competent here.
Hee. Honestly, that is not the case. But I do try my best to get my job done a.s.a.p.
Unless you ask something crazy like surf the net for information using this ancient Pentium 64MB RAM computer, of course I am going to need A LOT of time.
I sometimes I forget to follow up certain jobs but I’ll admit it.
I don’t go blaming other people or create a fairy tale story where you are the victim of someone who envies you. Ha.

Day 3.
*LOL* I can’t believe I am still in the same entry.
Btw, I normally type my entry in MS Word before I transfer it to the blog because… well for the obvious reason.
Anyway, I feel so fat. Oh well, that is my reality but today I feel extra fatter.
It is just one of those days.
*sigh* I feel so down about everything.
It feels as if the rest of the world is having a shitty week too.
I wonder why.

I need coffee

It has been a long long week.
The workload is tiring but bearable.
I have no idea where the time went.
I only realize it was gone when I needed more time to write.
By the time my world calms down, I am too tired to open my eyes, let alone think to type anything worth typing.

I had my confirmation appraisal the other day.
It went well.
I find it funny when my boss told me I am more intelligent that she thought.
*heh?*
Maybe because during the interview I kept my mouth shut most of the time. I think I also talked a lot of gibberish because I was nervous.
I am now unofficially a confirmed staff of this hotel.
*clap clap clap*
Trying to be optimistic, I believe this is a good thing.

The last few days is like a series of “Menjejak Kasih”
People whom I have not been in contact with and misses a lot suddenly reappears in my life.
The timing was almost/ perfect.
Perfect because I was thinking about them a lot and I miss their company
Almost perfect because I only managed to spend about 2 hours with Aida while making sure my son does not injure himself or trash the hotel room.
Very happy to hear everyone is doing well in their life.

Then I started to think.
Did I miss something?
Though I am very happy with the improvements in my life, I want it all and I want it NOW.
*sigh*

Night Without The Moon by Angelicbug

Night without the moon
It is so lonely
Without her love
He misses her

Even with the stars
He is still unhappy
His precious one
No where to be seen

Will he only think of her
When she has gone away
Will he really love her
If she comes back to stay

Night without the moon
It is so empty
He needs her
But he can never have her

Back to the Future I

"Let not other's insanity gets you. It's contagious with little hope for recovery. If you need to be insane, do it in your own unique way" - angelicbug

~7th August's Entry~

3 August 2006. New Straits Times. Prime News. Page 18.
Have Cab, will whistle.
http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/nst/Thursday/Columns/20060803073857/Article/index_html

Whistling cab drivers? Err, no thank you.
It’s annoying don’t you think?
Imagine this.

You had a LONG day at work, you’re stuck in a massive traffic jam, the taxi’s meter is going wild and the taxi driver is whistling the WHOLE time.
And every time when the driver try to hit that particular high note he keeps going off key and because he tries to be a good Malaysian taxi driver, he keeps on trying to hit the same note over and over and over but he keeps missing that note?
Wouldn’t you go crazy and want to pull that damn meter and start hitting the driver with it?
I would.

I used to take the cab to/back from work every day.
I met nice ones, the annoying ones, the crazy ones and the scary ones.

The nice ones
- They’re willing to send me to my destination even though the traffic towards that way is almost non-moving while other cabs refused.
- I didn’t have small change. They didn’t have small change. They told me to just give what I have.
- They offered to help me carry my groceries (which of course I never accept but it was nice because they offered)
- Make small talk about weather, funny stories about other passengers

The scary ones
- Makes sexual comments/remarks
- Drives like a mad man
- Upset when stuck in jam (one was so angry, he didn’t want to move even when the traffic was moving. He later scolded me for not telling him about the traffic -> I told him to take a different route but he ignored me)
- Asking personal questions and insist for phone number

I have never encountered a taxi driver that is fond of spreading rumors and malicious statements. If there was ever a taxi driver who talked about the racial issue is during that "thing" between two racial groups. They reminded me not to travel alone and to be alert all the time. All of them agreed that the problem shouldn’t have had happened. They also tell about them grow up together or are good friends with people from the other racial group. Isn’t that a good sharing/testimonial about different racial group living together in harmony?

I remembered this one particular taxi driver. He commented about the mix marriages that are happening in Malaysia. He said although he welcomes the idea of mix marriages, he is just worried one day all the racial group will become extinct and the culture/heritage will die because the young generation feels their history is a nuisance. Doesn’t he have a valid point?

The bit where the writer wrote about a taxi driver who refused to take the Jalan Masjid India route and with that action alone the writer claim that the taxi driver couldn’t resist bringing up issues of religion, as seen in "masjid" and race, as seen in "India" is crazy. He also said the taxi driver made an assumption about the allegedly crowded nature of that road without backing it up with statistical data.

If refusing to go to Jalan Masjid India is seen as religion/racial discrimination, then many other Malaysian, me included are guilty of "bringing up issues of religion".

Why only Jalan Masjid India? There are so many other places people would avoid going. Petaling Street, Sunway, etc. Are we also disrespecting the major racial group who resides in those areas? Please larr.

I never thought anything about the word "masjid" or "India". The reason why I always try to avoid that place is because of the traffic jam and the crowded area. I don’t know about the author but I DISLIKE walking through a sea of people. Maybe once in a blue moon I go crazy and I go hunting for whatever item I want/need.

KL is connected in every way so why would I want to take a busy road when there is a better route? Common sense larr. Most time I will let the taxi driver know which route to take and I always avoid Jalan Masjid India.

Maybe there are those people who have nothing better to do. Why only attack the taxi driver? If you say they have more contact with the tourist, then maybe. But instead of whistling, the authorities should teach them Malaysian history or facts about our tourism spots/activities/programs. A knowledgeable taxi driver is definitely a good image for the country.

If you really want to tackle the problem, then do it the right way. I am not sure what is the right way though. I think Malaysian is educated enough to understand and appreciate our differences. Unfortunately, we are the living example of the third world mentality. I suspect even other third world countries does not discriminate as much as we do.

~4th August's Entry ~

Chupa Chups.
The Pleasure of Sucking.

I saw the TVC in Nickelodeon.
A little inappropriate don’t you think?
You have little girls/bad sucking the chupa chups to a song that goes “bad boys… bad boys”
Even if you don’t have an indecent mind like mine, you must admit it is a little obscene for children (who are the main audience of that channel).

So, it’s Friday again. *yay*
Can’t wait to go home -> 7 more hours to go!
Everyone in the office is irritable and scowling; they’re slamming everything down, raising their voice and ignoring questions.
I just want to slap them silly.

I already had a slow morning.
Ekiel woke up early when my mom was screaming at brother telling him to wake up for school.
Then my mom made Ekiel to go back to bed because she needs to do some chores.
Which he did and woke up when I needed to get ready for work.
Being the spoilt brat he is he want someone to put him back to sleep.
After 30 minutes, I told him to stay awake because I am late for work.
No work, no nyong-nyong -> his term for his bottle.
When I brought him down, he was still testing my patience.
He wants to go down himself.
So I let him while I monitor him.
But he was taking FOREVER and I was really late.
So I yelled at him and he retaliated by refusing to move at all.
*arrgghhh*
Only then my mom came to take him.

I skipped breakfast but I did manage to have my cup of coffee though.
On my way to the office, I felt bad for screaming at Ekiel.
:P He is still a baby. What does he know kan?
I will make up for it later.

When I reach the office, I have to put up with these people.
*taking a deep breath*
This too shall pass.

Piece of cake

The extreme weather is making everyone sick. My dad is coughing. My mom is coughing. My baby is coughing. I am coughing. We are a coughing family. Oh well, at least we could save some money on cough syrup. Sharing is caring.

My mom bakes one of the best cakes/pudding/cookies I ever tasted. She used to take orders for cakes/pudding/cookies, but not anymore because it is too tiring for her. All those time when she was busy whipping the ingredients and preparing whatever that is needed to be prepared, I never bothered to “participate”. This is because I was “ordered” to look after the younger ones or my “participation” wasn’t encouraged because my mother didn’t think her baking talent was passed down to me. Once I was craving for her pudding so I called her (I was in KL) to ask for the recipe and she told me to just buy them from the bakery. Ha.

Anyway, over the weekend my mom had bake three cakes and a pudding. Two cakes and a pudding are for a family friend and a cake for my youngest sister’s birthday. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHELSEA!) My mom panicked a little because her decorating skills are rusty. For the first time ever, she asked for my help. ME. DECORATE THREE CAKES.

Well, my mom did spread the cream on the cakes first. All I had to do was decorate them. Ok larr. I managed not to butcher the cakes. *LOL* Don’t tell my mom, but I actually enjoy doing it despite my non-stop complains. My mom think I did a pretty good job and actually said I should go and learn how to bake cakes so we could do a small business together. I couldn’t remember the last time my mom said anything like that to me. *pat myself on the shoulder*

So what is the moral of this story? Err… never underestimate anyone? Don’t judge a book just by reading a review in the magazine/newspaper/internet/etc.

Only four months left before the year ends. *erkkss*

So far, I think the year has been good to me. Yes, despite what I wrote in my previous entries, I do think this has been a great year. I came back home with nothing except my faith that things will work out and it eventually did. I manage to get a decent job didn’t I? - without asking anyone for a favor. I found my old and long lost friends. My family, friends and I are in good health and safe from what is happening all over the world.

What more could I ask for? -> yes, there is a long list of things I want but I’ll talk about that in the next entry.

Monday's Blog, Tuesday's Entry

*sigh*

This morning was painful.
My son was being difficult.
My mom never-ending nagging.
Totally forgotten about the vouchers. -> been waiting for that thing for so long and now I have to wait till who knows when! *tear tear*
I think I accidentally kicked something (no idea when or what) and now my tail toenail is hurting me.
I look/feel like shitty I don’t even wanna look myself in the mirror.
*woo hoo*

Work is work.
I embarrassed myself this morning.
*blushing*
My manager asked us what does F.I.T stand for.
I thought really hard but I still couldn’t remember.
When he look at me, I innocently ask him if he meant the college.
He was like “Huh? College? Then you don’t know”.
Another colleague finally found out what it was.
Frequent Independent Travelers.
*banging head on table*
I wanted to just melt and evaporate.
Luckily everyone was busy to bother with my stupidity.

I admit I know nuts about the hospitality/tourism industry.
I will make it a point to educate myself so I won’t make the same mistake again.
But in my defense, he could have been talking about the college kan?
Who am I kidding?
Of course not.

How was your weekend?
Mine was so-so.
I burnt my arm with the boiling kettle.
While I was in pain, I was washing my son who wouldn’t stand still and I accidentally poke him with my fingernail. It bled a little but enough to scare me and make me feel so small that I wanted to cry with him.
My son’s cradle is out of order and he wouldn’t sleep without it. So while my mom grocery shopping, I had to “entertain” him and he finally cried himself to sleep after 2 hour of tantrums. -> the weird thing is, at night he could sleep without it, he just needs it for his day naps
I got little sleep, little TV time.
Wish the weekend were longer.

##

Why is it so difficult to blog these days?
Is this ancient computer too old and needs to retire?
Five-star organization with half-star office equipment.
*ughh*

hooray hooray! it's saturday!

I have just attended what I think is the world’s quietest Q&A session in a press conference.
The whole thing was boring and the only interesting thing about it was the free lunch. *evil laugh*
Oh, and this funny incident.

The new trainee and I were assigned to register the press/guests that came.
I was on the phone calling those press people who promised to come but never showed up because some minister called them personally to cover another event at another hotel.
So there were few people who walked in at the same time and the other ushers were busy doing something when one of them practically threw his credit card on the table. He later sat down and looked at the new trainee who was obviously confused.

The table we were using was actually the front office for the hotel club lounge (event was held at the Club Lounge). That guy is a regular hotel guest and he didn’t realize there was a function going on. Luckily the COO was there and saw the guest and quickly got one of the ushers who is actually the Guest Service to attend the guest. You should have seen both the trainee’s and the guest’s expression. Wish I had my camera with me.

###

Can anyone tell me how to stop those automated comments? IT’S ANNOYING. I was so happy thinking someone actually visited my blog and left me something. *Boo hoo*

Thank goodness the weekend is here again. I promise myself extra sleep this weekend and now I just have to persuade my mom to take my son together with them when they go grocery shopping this Sunday. *evil laugh*

Chances are that is SO not going to happen. Nobody wants a hyperactive-can never sit quietly-arms will just grab anything he fancies-baby when go shopping. Although he have not done any minor damages *touch wood*, he has couple of times grabbed one of those stuffed toys and actually try to eat it. The stuffed toys are still in one piece but his saliva is all over them. To those who had picked up salivated stuffed animals in any hypermarkets/shopping complexes, I am sorry. *whistles*

My colleague asked me what I do with my free time. I think and I think. I wish I could give her a more glamorous answer, but I “waste” my free time by not doing anything. I think it is okay because to me free time is a luxury and I so going to enjoy every minute of it. ->I sound as if I am busier than the PM *chuckled*

Truth is there are many things I would LOVE to do. Read a good book, watch a movie, hang out in Starbucks/with friends, go for massages/facials, but I can’t afford all that now. *sigh* So I’ll just pamper myself with DIY facials, watch TV, writing nonsense or just let my imagination go crazy. It’s not that bad. We just have to look at the bright side. Facial or 3 weeks of baby formula? Not so hard to decide kan?

Things are just not cheap these days. My friend and I wanted to go out and party a little but none of us drives. I am so used to KL public transport I told her we could get a cab. When she told me there would be additional charges of RM30 (additional!), I nearly had a heart attack. What? That is equivalent to 2 drinks! Besides, my place from that club is only like 15-20 minutes away.

Oh well, maybe I will just party at home. Blast the MTV loud, get myself a Big Gulp & a stirred not shaken baby formula for my son and shake our booty until his bed time. It doesn’t matter where you’re at, it’s who you’re with that counts.

My thumb, my thumb, my thumb, check it out!

The stitches. The blue colored thread thingy is kinda cool :)"












After removing those stitches. A little cacat but at least I still have my thumb













It still hurt when I accidently rub against it but it is healing. Yay!

Thursday so soon

When I found about the Tsunami that struck Java on Monday, I was speechless.
The universe is telling us something.
Unfortunately we are too busy too pay attention.

With all the natural disaster happening around the world and the fighting/attacks that is getting out of hand, I am worried. All the “What Ifs” keeps going through my head and it scares me. I cannot and do not want to imagine myself going through what those poor people have to go through every day.

###

I think I had too much coffee today.
I am having a headache but I still yawning non-stop.

Everyone is still talking about Siti Nurhaliza’s marriage to Datuk Khalid.
Everyone is speculating the reason behind the marriage.
I guess when you’re the country’s young and beautiful top singer and you’re marrying someone who is 20 years your senior who is a divorcee with teenager kids, people will definitely talk.
Though my mom feels Siti could marry someone younger and more good looking, I think we should mind our own business. If it makes her happy, then let her be.

Physical appearance, status and age will not guarantee a happy and lasting marriage.

Talking about marriage, a good friend of mine is also getting married next January.
*Clap clap clap*
I am very happy for the both of them.
He also planned a very romantic birthday cum proposal surprise for the girl, which I think is really sweet.
-> I also want a romantic proposal!!!
Can’t wait to see them on their wedding day.
Gmee & Irene, Congratulations on your engagement.

It is raining heavily outside.
The weather has gone mad I tell you.
It was freakin’ hot the past few days.
It is another sign from the universe?

A little bit on AF4.
My mom is SO UPSET when Diddy was booted out two weeks ago.
Then last week, her favorite student Lotter was next to go.
She was so frustrated, sad and angry, and she still complains about it until today.
Last night AF Diary showed Lotter crying while talking to Faizal, and my mom was practically sobbing. -> my mom is so gonna kick my arse for this. *LOL*
I told her to go and adopt Lotter or marry him to one of my younger sister. She just pouted at me.

Though I think Lotter is a good entertainer, he doesn’t deserve to win considering his vocals are only so-so and his vocal performance for the past seven weeks (minus his last performance) was somewhat below average. When you have other students (three in particular but I favor only two of them) with excellent vocals and good performances week after week, we need to do the right thing.

Maybe it is just me, but I think this year’s AF is too dramatized, set-up and pretentious, and it is beginning to bore me. *yawn*

After two months, I finally settled in the office. People are friendlier and more open to talk about everything with/in front of me. They just need a long time to warm up to newcomers. I think kinda like it here for now. -> I still dislike that particular person but I am willing to put aside that feeling for sanity’s sake.

I am craving for YuYu Ice.

I will survive

Oohhh, my heels will give up on me one of these days.
I should be wearing jogging considering the amount of walking/running I have to do every day.
Boo the stupid rules.

Busy. Busy. BUSY.
*yawn*

I try not to complain too much about work, but I need to say this.
It is a waste of time and resources to preach about teamwork when the staffs obviously do not understand nor care the concept of this value.
HA.

I was loaded with so much of work and yet she puts an instruction in my tray to photocopy a document for her. Maybe the promotion made her forgetful/idiotic and she no longer know how to operate the photocopy machine herself. *rolling eyes*

Though I had a one-hour breakdown last week, this week I am feeling much more better and optimistic about many things. I am just upset that no one bothered to ask me how I feel about what happened. It’s always about what other people think.

ANYWAY we can never please everyone. I was just upset when I was told the reason why I am getting such a low pay at the current job because I did not study hard enough to graduate from a university. I was upset because the reason I did not graduate was because I couldn’t find another scholarship when the first scholarship was cancelled due to the economic problem in ‘97-’98. I was upset because I had to start from the bottom due to my lack of experience and knowledge in this industry, which explains the low pay.

Oh well, no matter what, people (unfortunately most of them are families) will ALWAYS judge me because… they’re human and because I am different from them. Well I like to think it’s because of that. *LOL*

But the way we think and the way we express ourselves are so different sometimes I do find it frustrating. I am not saying I am perfect but we need to keep an open mind about everything around us. If you don’t,you will miss many things life has to offer. Doesn’t that make any sense?

I couldn't think of a catchy title

Weekend is here.
*woohoo*

Sure I still gotta work half day tomorrow, but half a day would just fly so quickly, unless I need to come back for the run tomorrow. NNOOOOOO…
*crossing my fingers*

I WAS excited about the run and I even thought what fun it will be to actually join in. BUT as days go by, and the more I think about it, *ugghhh* it’ll be too tiring. I already have to drag myself around work and I run tomorrow I might just die/past out. Fine, I am exaggerating BUT I just don’t want to humiliate myself for not finishing the run or worse be the last runner to reach the finish line after 5 hours of crawling. Ha.

I have about 44 hours to kill this weekend. Maybe I should go find the answer to world peace, feed all the hungry and fix the ozone layers. If I have the time I will go kick those idiotic and egoistic world leaders’ arses who loves the war so much but is too scared to go and join the war themselves. And also those people who is responsible for all the bombing attacks that killed many innocent civilians, which btw is an idiotic way to make a statement. Hmm, that will be some weekend if it happens for real.

Instead I will spend most of those time looking after my son, makan, watch TV, sleeping and HOPEFULLY start and finish the spring cleaning I’ve been planning to do since… well I am sure it was ages ago. I really need to re-organize my stuffs. Everything is everywhere and my siblings are irresponsible brats who uses my things as they like without making the effort to take proper care of it or put it back to where it should be. A bunch of spoilt brats.

I could hear the band practicing their gig for tonight. I suddenly have this craving for whiskey coke or LIIT. *banging head on table* I really could use a drink but I do have a problem sitting in a pub drinking alone. That would attract too much unwanted attention. I don’t know how the other girls handle it.

OMG. Can I please please go home now? My body and brain is refusing to cooperate. *Blearghhh* I need to go and poke myself with a blunt pencil.

everyday I love you less and less

Would it be a big deal if I stab someone with a stapler?

The Drama Queen, The Butt Kisser, The Storyteller, The Lazy Arse, The Showoffs, The Advantage Taker and The Agitator; put them all together and they could make your working life a pain in the arse.

I thought I have escaped from my nightmare. I turned down a good job offer because I swear I will never work with her again. Unfortunately, the universe is still playing a joke on me.

Now I have to deal a bigger pain in the arse because she is my senior. Though by right I don't have to report to her, I kinda have to because she treats me like I am her PA or something. *rolling eyes* As a butt kisser, she puts up a great act in front of the bosses. She suddenly has a whole new personality when the boss walks in. Always ready to please even if its means telling stories about colleagues or circumstances. Doesn't she realize this personality change? I mean you badmouth the boss and yet you kissarse. You think the rest of us stupid + blind ka?

She also have the nerve to take credit for somebody else' work. "Hello, we are standing right here and we could hear you". Another thing I cannot stand is her bad manners. The way she talks to other people is killing me. She is rude and unprofessional. She really needs to learn some interpersonal skills and manners. How did she end up in communications is beyond me.

Today is another headache.

Though ALMOST every morning I wake up all happy and cheerful, the moment I walked into my department my happiness is being sucked right out of me. I mean, how would you feel when the first thing you see is a sour face? She ignored your greetings and pretends she is busy working on her computer. Please note that this sourness magically disappears when the superior or the boss walks in.

She was supposed to attend the morning briefing but she didn't bother to go because she just doesn't care. I know the pressure attending this briefing, but it is her responsibility. Faking stomach upsets and all just to avoid the briefing is immature and irresponsible.

She then handed over numerous jobs to me and I am already loaded with other work. I didn't say anything because I didn't wanna make a big deal out of it since I am still on probation and the last thing I need is for her to badmouth about me to the boss. When the other colleagues asked her about a certain job she will say she wasn't instructed/informed about it. YEAH RIGHT. I personally pass her the printed copy (she printed it herself!) of the Media Plan and I saw an advertisement that was supposed to come out this Saturday. But she told the other colleague the boss didn't email her the media plan because she wasn't suppose to handle the F&B. Wtf?

I really don't know what is she working on. Everything that the boss asked her to do, she will pass it to me and she even had the nerve to get credit for it. "Oh I checked with the post office..." Bloody hell. I spend two days trying to get the information from the post.

You know what pisses me off the most? When I found out she was actually studying her Korean (she was selected to attend a Korean class organized by the hotel) instead of doing any work. Oohhh, how I badly want to kick her arse. She had the nerve to tell me to finish all the tasks that I haven't done yet. Of course larr I haven't done it because it is not urgent and I only have a pair of hands.

She came back from Korean class (they're having classes during work hour!) and she started blabbing asking me if I have send out the press release and I should have done it earlier. No one told me to do it. The email was sent to all of us (a follow-up job). Besides, I am already loaded with other things and she always sent the press release herself. WHY IS SHE BARKING AT ME FOR???

I take it all in patiently because I know what goes around comes around. Maybe I am paying back for all the crazy/bad deeds that I have done before.

I am not gonna let her get into me. She is just one small hurdle I must learn to overcome. People like her remind me of things I never want to be.

hot in 'ere

Is it just me or is it gettin’ hot in ‘ere?
I am sweating like a pig.
I must look like shit.
I don’t care larr because I feel like shit.
My whole body is aching.
My head is spinning.
I am sleepy.

I wish I were somewhere else but here.

My weekend was something like this.
I was at home.
Watched TV.
Looked after Ekiel (who btw, behaved very well).
Wanted to clean up the room but I wasn’t in the mood.
Found, well a long lost friend found me in Friendster.
Finally saw a pic of her son who is a week older than Ekiel and he is so COMEL (cute).
My mom finally made Nasi Lemak with Ayam Masak Merah on Sunday - I was craving for some kick-arse Malay food and it was DELICIOUS.
And… and… that’s it.
*LOL* isn’t my life exciting and fun.

all I have to do is dream

Even heroes have the right to dream - Superman (It’s not easy)/Five for Fighting

*flashbacks* *shaking my head and smiling to self*
Bring back A LOT of memories.
But the reason why I love this song so much is because of that particular line in the song.
Believe it or not, it makes me feel… normal.

I hold on to my dreams tightly.
They cheer me up when I find out life wasn’t the fairy tale I was promised.
They comforted me when I learn the world does not care for me.
They gave me hope when I realize happily ever after doesn’t come with a manual.
But most of all, those dreams belongs to only me.

Btw, I heard something ridiculous today.
“So I dial 088 *** *** straight or should I dial something else first?”
*head banging on keyboard*
This lady is from a well known publishing house in KL.
How did she manage to get that job is a mystery to me.
*rolling eyes*

A long chat with a dear friend last night reminded me how blessed I am.
No doubt I think my life could/should be better, but I know it could be a lot worse.
People applaud me for being who I am, but they never realize the things that I have gone through/done that made me appreciate life and everything/everyone else around me.

I give people the push/opportunity they need because I know how it feels to be left behind. I treat everyone with respect and kindness because I know how it feels to be treated like shit. I make sure I try my best to make those around me feel loved and appreciated because I know how it feels when no one cares.

I am no saint. I just believe we need to treat other people the way we want them to treat us. Unfortunately, it takes two to tango and in this case, it takes A LOT of people to make this world a better place.

Why do I champion common sense so much? The answer is simple. Life is too short for idiocy. If everyone were too busy discussing what color choker would go with the purple color dress, this blog would never have exist.

kiss kiss

My new manager told me I look like the kind of girl who goes out partying a lot.
I don’t know how he came up with that conclusion.
I swear I was putting my “I have no social life” mask on.
Oh well, not that I have any problem with that label.

I admit I do miss the partying, the dancing and the chilling out with friends.
It was my way to forget (even if it’s only temporary) about everything else.
The never-ending problems, the piling bills, the annoying people, the not working out relationships.
Though most time I ended up being the babysitter, I was still very happy because I get to go dancing.
So what if I dance like a hippo, as long as I enjoy myself, who the hell cares.

All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts – William Shakespeare.

I just love the quote because it is so true. We all put up an act for different situations and different people. I admit I am like that most times. The reason is simple. I do not need/want those unwanted people to know/understand/care I exist. Take your pick. I have enough people to annoy me till the day I die. I don’t need more. Many times I am dying to tell someone to jump off a building or something but I had to shut my mouth because that would lead to more boring and suffocating conversation. Yes, I am a very patient woman.

I AM BORED. BORED. BORED. BORED. If I could, I would just pack my things and leave this place. BUT karma is biting me in the arse so I am stuck here until a miracle or slightly better things happen. Whichever comes first.

It’s nauseating to see the way some people and their attempt to kiss butt. They suddenly become something else and their lips are practically sticking on whose ever butt they were trying to kiss. There is also the insincere smile, the annoying fake laughter and the forever agreeing with the butt owner no matter how stupid that person is.

They will also condemn the butt owner just because they do not want other people to call them suck-up. They also make fun of other butt kissers saying they kiss butt because they want to take the corporate elevator instead of the ladder. The moment they hear/smell the butt owner, they automatically start kissing and somehow they will always find a way to make themselves look good in front of the butt kisser. It doesn’t matter if they use/hurt other people because they are heart/brain-less. If they were so smart, they don’t have to kiss butt instead other people would be kissing their butt! HA.

Welcome to a butt kissing world.
One question. Doesn’t it smell down there?

yellow polka dot bikini

Sometimes I feel the universe is playing tricks on us with its never ending test of faith, patience, will and wits.

Dear Universe,
I know our problem is petty compared to many, but a break is highly appreciated.
Thank you.

There are so many things going in my head.
It’s not difficult to put them into words.
But the world would still be as it is.

ANYWAYS,

Victoria Beckham. Kate Moss. Cellulite. *LOL* No one is perfect. Even the skinniest people on earth have cellulites. There is justice after all. *phew* I do feel a little sorry for them though. Imagine the world discussing about your imperfection. *erkk* I do not want to be in their heels right now.

It is funny how at times like this people are still obsessed with stories like this.

“Hey did your read about another suicide bombing in Iraq where innocent civilians including children died? How terrible. By the way did you saw Posh Spice’s cellulite in the papers today? Who are we going to worship for their beauty and perfection now? *sob sob*”

The world has gone mad I tell you.
Just like the weather.
It’s June and it is raining every day.
Not that I miss the heat.

My friends and I are planning some year-end activities.
Island trip, white water rafting, lepaking, etc.
One of my friends is now obsessed with workouts and suggested we all get into shape so we could parade in bikinis for our island trip.
I nearly had a heart attack.
They even suggested we go according to our sports color like in high school which means I need to find myself a yellow polka dot bikini.
I AM HORRIFIED.
Have you ever seen a blue whale wearing a bikini?
I rest my case.
I don’t know how I am going to get out from this one.
*reaching for a paper bag. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat*

Yeah, diet and work out works but I would need a miracle to look good in a bikini within six months.
Victoria and Kate have some cellulite already the world is gasping in horror.
When I show up in a bikini with my cellulites AND fats, they will lock me up in a nut house and throw away the key.
Dang. These people better come and visit me every day when that happens.

thumbs up

Today is just one of those days.
I woke up in a very good mood because I had a really good night sleep.
Ekiel also woke up cheerfully which is not often.
Took my shower and do my morning ritual.
Water was slightly cold, but it’s okay.

Need to put some make up on.
My BodyShop concealer was blunt, need to sharpen it a little.
If you’ve seen the BodyShop concealer, you know the pencil-like shape was too big even for those big sharpener.
So I took a penknife and sharpen it the old-fashioned way.
Like a good mother, I was keeping an eye on Ekiel while sharpening the thing.
I was making faces at him when I feel something liquid-ish all over my hands.
When I turn to look, my blood was everywhere. I apparently cut myself.

It was a bad cut.
It took me about a minute to figure out what to do.
I put some pressure near the wound then the blood flowed slower.
I opened the door and screamed for my sister to look after my baby.
Rushed down to my mom, told her I need to go to the emergency room.
Explained to my mom what happened and first reaction is “Did you cut your finger off?”
I calmly told her no, but I am bleeding badly.
My blood was dripping on the floor when my mom realized how bad it is.
She wrapped the wound with a napkin, and off I go to the emergency room with my brother.

In the car my brother asked me what have I done this time.
Told him what happened and he roll his eyes on me.
I only had to remind him the numerous times when he had to go the emergency room instead.
I also reminded him how he cried like a baby and how that information may be used against him.

At the emergency room, a guy registered me in.
He asked how I injure myself.
Told him I accidentally cut myself. He asked me “with what?”
He was lucky I wasn’t in so much pain.
Told him a penknife.
He asked for the RM1 registration fee before he send me off to the Semi-Emergency Room.

One of the doctors sent me to a smaller room.
There was a bed there, so I climb up the bed.
Then the nurse told me to sit on a chair instead because I only cut my finger not my leg.
LOL.
It was kind of embarrassing.

After what felt like forever (I was bleeding for goodness sake!) a male nurse comes in.
He injected anesthetic around the wound (4 shots).
That’s when I feel the pain.
The first two injections were a lot to take.
But being the control freak that I am, I bit my tongue and kept quiet.
When my thumb was numb so it was not too bad until I turned to have a look.
The blood was gushing out again.
He cleaned it with some spirits and started stitching.
When I feel the thread touching my other fingers, I wanted to throw up so bad.
My head suddenly starts to spin, and I feel like I was going to past out.
But the male nurse was busy talking and talking, he didn’t notice I was taking deep breaths to calm myself down.

I had three stitches then I went to see a doctor to check them.
He told me to come back in a week and gave me some painkillers.
I was in and out of the emergency room in less than an hour.
The waiting was long but the stitching bit only took less than 10 minutes.

Why am I such a klutz? *rolling eyes*
I am slowly feeling the pain as the painkiller wears off.
This is going to be a long day.

third placing cannot be a good thing

“Reader’s Digest survey rates Kuala Lumpur as the third-worst city in courteousness. This should not be generalized to all Malaysians as it was only meant to examine the urban dwellers.”

Oh my. Sadly, this is the truth. If you don’t believe me, go and check it out yourself.

Take the public transport before and after work.
People cutting queues.
- These people are thick-skins. Before you could tell them off, they will daringly look at you to challenge their action. Some would turn a deaf ear to your comment and some would even shamelessly argue back. I can only shake my head and give them my deadly look because I do not want to make a scene.

No one give up their seat for the elderly or pregnant women.
- This is a true story. I was about 6-7 months pregnant and I had to take the bus home. It was overcrowded and the traffic was heavy. I had to stand up for hours to wait for the bus and in the bus as well. I was tired, sleepy and I was dozing off while standing up. A nice gentleman was about to offer me his seat when his friend told him it was a stupid thing to do. It’s my own problem I had to stand up not theirs. I really had to control myself before I lost my mind and start hitting them with my handbag. I also prayed the guy would fall down when he gets off the bus later. HA.

In a crowded train/bus, no one cares about you.
- Try to get out from an overcrowded train or bus. The incoming passengers are like a bunch of elephants charging in and the passengers inside are like bunch of hippos not wanting to move to make your exit easy. You try not to make so much body contact because well, you know so you have to squeeze yourself from every little space you could find. You have to be quick too because you don’t want to miss your stop. Not an easy task. I normally use the “touching the shoulder + excuse me” bit. If that doesn’t work this will “Eh hello? Can you make way ah? Omigosh. Didn’t learn moral in school ka?” I only use it when I am really really stressed out and tired. Hee.

On The Road
There’s no need to explain myself here. I saw/heard/experience many things that contributed to my phobia (I am afraid of driving. Even sitting in a fast driven car scares me to death). No matter how careful you are; there are other drivers who don’t give a shit about you. I have seen a car (two men) gave chase to another car (3 women) just because the women overtook them. At the junction when the women had to stop, those men stepped out from their car and started screaming and pounding the women’s car. They even tried to open the doors. The women driver just sped off nearly causing an accident with another car.

Customer Service
I don’t know why but this always happens to me. The you-don’t-look-like-you-could-afford-anything-here attitude really piss me off. Big time. Eh sales person only wants to act so big ka? *rolling eyes* This mentality has to change. Consumer/customer/clients now have so many options. Treat me like shit and I am out of that place so fast you wouldn’t even see my shadow – sounds so much better in my head.

Sometimes customers/clients are a pain in the arse too. “I am the customer so do what I say!” and when what they say screws up everything they will blame it on you. “I pay you to tell me what needs to be done!” No wonder everyone is singing “Bad Day”.

I could go on and on and on about this.

It is a pity. Courteousness should be a part of our identity and culture.
Sadly it is a dying value.
Even kids these days are… well just say they could use some spanking like what I went through. Now I wouldn't even know how to be rude.*wink*

Hopefully with this survey we would take the initiative to change for the better.

one day I'll go dancing on the moon

Someday We’ll Know – New Radicals

Ninety miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving I don't know why
So many questions I need an answer
Two years later you're still on my mind

What ever happened to Amelia Earhart
Who holds stars up in the sky
Is true love just once in a lifetime
Did the captain of the Titanic cry

Someday we'll know if love could move a mountain
Someday we'll know why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis
Or what the wind says when she cries
I've driven by the place that I met you
For the ninety-seventh time ... tonight

Someday we'll know if love could move a mountain
Someday we'll know why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you

Yea yea yeah yeah

Someday we'll know why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know that I was the one for you

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watch the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me ... tonight

Someday we'll know if love could move a mountain
Someday we'll know why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you

Yea yea yeah yeah

Someday we'll know why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know that I was the one for you
_________________________________________________________________

It’s just one of those days.
I do miss having someone who misses me when we’re not together.
Sends me those revolting romantic notes. :P
Calls me just to say goodnight….
*sigh*
This song has been playing in my head over and over again.
Fyi, it is not meant for anyone in particular.

you are beautiful, no matter what they say....

One of the chatters in a chat channel says Farhan could never be an artist because she doesn’t have the package. Farhan has one of the best vocal in all the AF combined. The chatter might as well just truthfully say he/she doesn’t think Farhan is pretty enough because he/she is shallow and would only listen to pretty singers even if that pretty singer couldn’t sing to save his/her life.

It’s difficult to share what I think because in some weird way, it will come back to me on a personal level. Some would say I take it personally because I am fighting my own battle, the battle of the not-good-looking-people. A personal experience that took me a long time to recover.

I am not blessed with flawless skin, beautiful straight teeth, healthy hair, perfect figure, etc. Unfortunately I grew up in a society that worships physical beauty. It’s even more difficult when you are surrounded by beautiful people. I grew up hating everything about me and I secretly wish I was beautiful too.

As a young girl who dreams of happily ever after, I seriously think being plain looking was the reason for all the miseries in my life. There were no secret admirers, no dates, nothing. All the guys I used to have crushes at have crushes on my beautiful friends instead. And if that isn’t torturous enough, someone whom I thought was my good friend told me I will not have to worry because the guy we both (and a few other) like at that time will never pick me. She on the other hand is worried because she is among the pretty ones and the guy will only pick a pretty chick as his gf.

I could list a few more of incidents that made me feel like shit, but this isn’t really about me. Though I must admit, even as an adult I still find myself trapped in these circumstances. My ex-boss telling me to lose weight, I was rejected for a job in the beauty industry because I don’t fit their “criteria”, my friend telling me she is prettier than I am, etc. Even in my current working place, I found out in their assessment during the interview, there was a section where the interviewer has to fill about our physical look. I was rated okay looking. Ha.

That’s reality.

When I comment about the shallowness and the silliness of this whole physical thing, a guy laughed at me saying I criticize only because I am not good looking. I want the world to change their perspective so that I would feel good about myself.

I think and I think hard.

Perhaps there is some truth in that.

I want men to write poetry/song about me and declare I am more beautiful than the moon at night. I want secret admirers. I want men to worship the ground I walk on. I want to have all the advantages a beautiful woman has. I want to know how beautiful feels like.

I also admit I too love pretty and beautiful things. I drool over good looking men. I want a handsome hubby and good looking kids.

BUT I am a bigger fan of talent, kindness, love, passion, humility and sincerity. The inner beauty. The X factor.

Physical beauty is a plus. Besides there is always makeover. *wink* We have unlimited resources of beauticians, hairstylists, fashion consultants and the list goes on and on.

So to that chatter, you can find beautiful women every day, everywhere. But how often can you find real talent?

Fyi, I do not have a self-esteem issue, well not anymore. I have learned to love myself as I am. The hard way.

why I think some people need to get a new hobby.

Call me Kat.
Call me Kitty Kat.
*purr*

The Wedding Crasher.
Hee.

Feeling a lot better today.
I DO TRY to be more positive in life.
It’s tiring.
So once in a while I let myself sink in my frustration.
Not that I will slit my wrist or anything idiotic.
*rolling eyes*
All I do is complain and complain.
Sometimes all I need is a good cry.
A night out with my girls is therapeutic, but I don’t get to do that anymore.
Now, I only shake my booty with my baby
That boy sure can dance.

Few days ago, some people voiced out their concerns about Malaysia’s unique cultures, the Kongsi Raya and the Open House.
Something about attending another religious ceremony, and how it is contradicting the teaching of a certain religion.
First of all, I have great respect for ALL religion because each religion promotes goodness and kindness.
It’s the people who screw up.

I just don’t understand how some people can come up with this kind of thing.
I don’t know which open houses they went, but the ones that I’ve been to have no religious ceremony going on, only lots and lots of food.
No religion would allow their devotees to attend another religion’s religious ceremony.
If there is such a thing happening, I am very sure the whole Open House concept will never be adopted by any of us anyway.
Not everyone is ignorant, you know.

Kongsi Raya only means you celebrate two different festivals at the same time.
I really do not see what the big deal.
Isn’t this “Kongsi Raya” an advertising/marketing gimmick by companies to save their advertising/marketing cost during the festival season? Why make two advertisements when you can combine them?
I seriously cannot see the problem.
*Hmmm*

I applaud the PM’s stand on this matter.
Malaysia would lose one of its biggest trademarks if they decided to scrap the Kongsi Raya and Open House culture.
We host/go open houses to show our gratitude and love to our family, neighbor and friends.
Like PM say, it’s a social gathering.
To meet and catch up.
Our life are taken over by work and technology; most of the time we only call/sms/chat/email to say hie and all.
We hardly spend time together as a community anymore.
Few times a year, we gather to celebrate our uniqueness.
We respect each other’s beliefs and we wish each other well.
Other country applauds us for our unity and understanding, and here we have certain people who blindly make statements without really understanding what is happening.

Well, I say if they think is wrong then tell them to lock themselves at home whenever someone is having an open house.
No one force them to go anyway.

I wonder what else will these people come up with the next time.

A LONG day

Today I woke up with my son rubbing his face against me.
For a one-year old, my baby has stinky morning breath.
Hee.
It was no Hallmark moment.
He was just hungry and he needed me to make his bottle.
Oh well.
He used to pinch me on the face or pull my hair.
I think the constant screaming taught him to be more tactful.
I love those mornings we spend together.
Rolling around the bed.
Making faces.
Laughing out loud.

It rained heavily this morning.
In my world, I would have gone back to bed and forget about everything else.
Reality is never like that.
Had to drag myself to work, only to be greeted by temperamental colleagues and loads of work.
Someone woke up at the wrong side of the bed and out to spoil everybody else’s day.
I got tons of work to do BUT I have no idea what or how or why.
When asked for instructions, everyone has gone deaf.
When I refer to the boss, everyone is not happy.
You complain too much work; I ended up with them.
I complain too much work; I still have to finish them.
Maybe this is just a bad dream.

Today is one of those days.
I am exhausted.
I try and I try.
It is still not enough.
My throat still hurting.
My head still aching.
My heart still bleeding.

I need to go look for that rainbow.
The one that comes out after the rain.

I am no Simon Cowell

Demam AF?
Me?
*whistles*

I blame my family for the addiction.
My life was peaceful before they force AF3 into my life.
Though I find AF4 pretty boring, I still need to know what are they up to and what songs are they singing for that week.
*tsk tsk tsk*
My greatest weakness is my need to know how the story ends.

Let me do my version of AF4 review on the students.

Lotter. He is a good performer but his vocal still needs A LOT of training. His strength lies in his passion to learn and his sincerity to perform. His simple and playful nature gives him the likeable factor that some students are lacking. He will have a future in the acting business. I just hope they will not exploit him as another slapstick comedian.

Diddy. He has that big vocal that I like in men. Like every other student he could sing but he doesn’t have anything unique that set him apart from the other student. He has the look and the height but he doesn’t use it to his advantage. In fact, his slouch-ness only makes his performances look awkward.

Faizal. I never realized how good his vocal is until the first concert. I say he has the best vocal among all the male students. Didn’t notice earlier because I didn’t like his insecure and “trying to be cute” character. I personally feel he lacks emotion in his singing that makes his performance a bit boring. He needs to be more relaxed and confident His dancing kinda reminded me of Spongebob Square Pants. You know the stiff body with the flailing arms and legs. Hee.

Haziq. His sensitivity is driving me crazy. If you listen carefully, he has a pretty good vocal but his character overshadows it. He doesn’t seem to mix well with the other students. He cries too much. He needs to be more versatile in his genre of music. He must stop “meng-asli-kan” everything. After the first two show off, it becomes annoying.

Amirul. He has the soft and gentle kind of voice only suitable for certain kind of songs. But that is no excuse for the poor performances. His pretty boy look is his advantage but he needs to learn to control his emotions. There’s a fine line between “manja” and a crybaby. I think he would do better if he were a part of a boy band. Here’s an idea. Why don’t Amirul and Daniel of MI2 get together and form a new boy band? Maybe they can do another reality show to find the rest of the boy band members. *grinning*

Rich. He needs to be more enthusiastic and passionate about the competition. I like it when Rich has to hit the high notes in his singing. Otherwise, his vocal is only average. For someone who already has two albums out (though he was in a band), his performance and showmanship SHOULD be better compared to the other students. Unfortunately he doesn’t take advantage of his experience.

Farhan. I love her big vocal. I also like it when she adds her own style to the song, you know those “power punches” in her singing. She still lacks emotions in her singing. Is she controlling herself or is that the real her? During her performances, I wonder if she is actually enjoying herself. I think it’s nice of her to play the big sister role, but everything about her screams “boring”. She needs to loosen up a little.

Salima. The attention is on her for the obvious reason. She is too confident of herself considering her vocal is only average. Sometimes her outspoken behavior is almost rude. She is a Drama Queen using her tears to get attention. I mean if you are upset about anything, you would normally do it in your own time and space, and not in front of the whole world kan? I believe everyone could be great if given the chance but do we really want someone with an attitude problem?

Zila. Her high pitch vocal is her gift. I like her sweet personality and her smiles. Her insecurity and lack of enthusiasm are her weaknesses. Zila is another student who holds back in her performance. She needs to learn to control her nervousness because it is shown through her eyes.

Velvet. She has one of the best vocals this season. A happy go lucky character and she didn’t let those uncalled for comments on her weight get to her. Though her singing was brilliant I still feel she needs to be more expressive through her eyes and gestures to make her performance more powerful.

Karen. She definitely stood out among the crowd. I think she is brave for trying to compete in a malay/bumiputra-dominated competition. She has a good vocal and with a lot of training and guidance she will definitely take her place in the music industry.

Nora. To me, Nora is forgettable. I only remember her as the emotional and camera-crazy chick. Her vocal is average and her performance was boring. She also has insecurity problems and she didn’t look like she belongs in AF4.

There you go. I try to be subjective, as I understand the fact that different people have different opinion. I think Faizal, Farhan, Velvet and maybe Diddy deserves to be in the finals. Unfortunately, we all know the voting pattern and it would not be a surprised if only one out of the four is in the finals.

hot sun, air-conditioned room and heavy rain.

My throat hurts.
My head hurts.
I wish I were at home.

Been busy coping with everything.
Had the orientation thingy last week.
My old work place, orientation was more about liquor and getting sick.
Here, I had to memorize everything about the organization,
while them treating us like we’re three. Ha.

Met many kind of characters at the orientation.
There are those whom I applaud for their warmth, dedication and teamwork.
There are those whom I want to kick their arse for their stubbornness and idiocy.

I kinda lost my temper at the last day of the orientation.
It is very difficult to work with people who think they are right all the time.
I have no intention of taking charge.
I just want everyone to participate.
It pisses me off when no one wants to take the responsibility when something goes wrong.
Anyway, it is over and hopefully I won’t ever have to work with “those” people ever again.

Then we finally had Ekiel’s birthday celebration.
Had it together with Mom’s birthday.
It was a simple celebration with a lot of makan.
And I really mean A LOT of makan.

By Sunday, I was having flu, sore throat and a headache.
Too much hot sun, air-conditioned room and heavy rain.

it's my money and I'll vote if I want too

Everyone is a critique.

Almost all local blogs talks about AF4.PERSONALLY, I think some of the critiques are justified.
But some are just insulting not only to the contestants BUT to their supporters as well.
Unfortunately this is a free country, and some people do voice out their opinion without using their head.

Though I very much try not to get involve, but hey, I am a critique too. :P

First of all, I think it is sad out of the 7,000 (or so they say) hopefuls, the twenty contestants they picked for the Prelude Concert only has so-so vocals. If these are the best of out of the whole audition, I can only imagine what the rest sound like. (I don’t watch the audition process).

Out of the twenty, there are four contestants whom I think with the right training has the potential to become a good recording artiste. Out of the four, only three were chosen for the top twelve.

Many were unhappy with the result. Unhappiness leads to criticism and accusation. I was taken aback when some bloggers/chatters commented about the four Sabahan students in the top twelve. While I do agree that Astro is taking advantage of Sabahan who loyally vote for the Sabahan students, I am unhappy when they’re making fun of us.

Many accuse Sabahan as kenegerian, but we all know Sabahan are not the only one who is devoted to the people from their own state. Why put the blame on us only? Are they intimidated by our support through the sms vote? Though I don't vote but my family does.

There are not many Sabahan artists in Malaysia’s music industry. Is it wrong to support a fellow Sabahan in making their dream come true? It’s not like we’re supporting someone who has no talent at all. They’re talented and are eager to learn. I admit other students are talented as well, but we understand the Sabahan students better because we talk the same slang and we come from the same background.

Like Mawi, I do understand the craze but many Sabahan do not understand nor enjoy the kind of music Mawi sings beautifully. See the problem? Cultural differences. Some people made fun of Marsha when she sang the “Jambatan Tamparuli”, but to us it was awesome because she was singing “our” song.

You make fun of our slang, but you want to talk like us. Some say we Sabahan still live in the cave and we have no other form of entertainment besides AF. Well my dear, we may still live in the cave but we can afford to subscribe to Astro and vote for our favorite students year after year. HA. Who’s laughing now?

I will blog my comments on the contestants next.
Now, I am going to watch the first concert repeat show with my parents.
I want to see what they think.